Ditching the dummy

[Lolbel]

Hi,
I am in a quandry.
We moved our 26 month old daughter from her cot into her new bed last weekend and it has gone smoothly thank goodness. She is a good sleeper - only difference is she's waking about an hour ealier and I think that's due to losing her dummy and not being able to find it in the morning as it has fallen out the bed. I have also had to go up a couple of times in the night to find the lost dummy.

I think now may be a good time to ditch the dummy as my second baby is due in about 8 weeks, so I wonder if it is best to make the change now. My husband sees no rush but will basically go along with whatever I decide. But I CAN'T decide what to do! I had decided to do it this weekend and had bought the replacement teddy and then annoying Mother in Law decided to stick her oar in and make me doubt doing it by saying 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' and 'it gives her so much comfort - why not wait?'.

It does make getting her to go down at night and in the daytime for naps at weekends much easier but I guess she would just get used to not having it?

She sleeps at nursery with no dummy so I know she can...and I am prepared for a few disturbed nights whilst she adjusts (prob better to go through that now rather than when we have another child) but I just don't know whether it is too much change for her at once. Especially as we have to start potty training her within the next couple of weeks before baby comes - nursery have advised this.

I just don't want a load of hassle doing it when baby is here and nights are already broken...but I don't want to make too many huge changes in her little life at once.

So, do I do it now even with the 2 big changes of potty training and new baby arriving coming up or do I wait for 2 months after the baby comes? Or even wait until much later on in the year, i.e. when she turns 3 in December?

Thank you!

Hi Lolbel, I have a 3 yo and 1 yo. When I was pregnant with my dd, we had the exact same thoughts as you- get ds into his own bed, potty trained and rid of the dummy before the baby arrives.
We ended up getting rid of the dummy with ease- we gathered all his dummies up and told him he could use them to buy a new toy at the toy shop (he went in and chose a toy with dh while I went and told the till staff that he would be handing over his dummies as payment and that I would then pay properly after). It worked a treat and then the couple of times he asked for his dummies after that, we just said- but you used them to buy your guitar and he accepted that.

With the potty training, don't let nursery push you into anything. She will only potty train successfully when she is ready. We had 2 attempts at training ds. The first time he was just not ready, having constant accidents and getting himself really upset about it, so we left it for a couple of months, tried again, and he took to it no problem, with only 2 accidents! So don't worry if she doesn't get it straight away and definitely don't worry if you have to abandon ship for a while.

I would say, just do whatever works for you. You are right, when baby comes you are not going to want the added hassle of doing these things when baby arrives, so give them a go, and if it doesn't work, just leave it for a couple of months-no big deal, you'll have enough on your plate!
The dummies should be the easiest one to tackle now I would say. It might be more difficult to get rid of them if she sees baby having one when he/she comes along!

Good luck with it all and with your new little one xxx

Hi, first off, congrats on a second.

As for you daughter, personally i would just leave it for now. It is a bit much for her all at once, moving from cot to bed, loosing dummy, getting potty trained, then having to deal with a baby, who is going to have everything she has just lost (dummy, etc)? which might cause a bit of resentment.

Think of things from her point of view, how hard is it going to be for her to give up the dummy, and then see her little brother/sister with one?

Let her get used to all the new changes bit at a time, to give her time to adjust, at her pace.

Now isn't a time for faffing about worrying about potty training etc, enjoy your time alone with her, and worry about all that after the baby is born, and setttled in.

Thank you so much for your reply, it has really helped as I am getting into a right tizz about all these changes and when to do them. It makes sense re. the potty training - we'll give it a go before the baby comes and if it doesn't work out then we'll wait for a while as you say.

I like the idea of dd choosing a toy and 'paying' with dummies...I have actually already bought a 'replacement' toy but maybe I'll give the toy shop idea a go!

Out of interest, how old was your ds when he gave up the dummy? and how soon after did your dd come?

Thanks messytimemum. This is my worry, doing too much at once and making it too stressful for dd. I just don't want it to be harder later on...Thanks for your advice!

DS gave up the dummy at around 22 months old and dd arrived 3 months later. We were expecting him to start snatching her dummies but he never even tried. He had decided that dummies were for babies and he was now officially a big boy!

I did the first attempt at potty training when dd was about 4 months old then left it and tried again a couple of months later. It wasn't too stressful because he was ready for it then.

xxx