Pre-school showdown...

[emmalf]

I've recently returned to work after 10 months maturnity leave. My eldest son has just turnt 2 so has spent virtually all his 24 months with me.

He is fine going to my mums 3 days a week, he doesnt cry or seem to miss me.

He started pre school in January and has been going for 7 weeks. He screams every time I drop him off and seems to be screaming louder and getting more distressed every week. Once im gone he crys for 10 mins or so then plays happlily for the 3 hours he is there. When I collect him he is full of stories of what he has done and seems reluctant to leave.

Ive tried telling him about pre school all week so he is excited however the moment we get to the door he screams mummy nnnooooooooooooo!!

Has anyone got any tips on how I can avoid this heart renching behaviour that also distresses my one year old son.

Thanks

Dump and run. It seems heartless but he's doing it for your benefit. You could hide in the office then peer through the door to see if he's upset in 5 or 10 mins. Bet he won't be.

I've said that before and got flamed.

Nagoo is right. I used to have to saty at preschool with my daughter as her carer. All the children who cried when their mums left always stopped crying and cheered up within a few minutes after their mums had gone.

First of all think about why he goes. He is quite little. Is there a good reason for him to go that is relevant to him? If it's just because that's what other people do then perhaps you should rethink it. If it's because you think it's the right thing to do for him that's fine.

Think of it as a ride at a theme park. You queue up voluntarily feeling excited and a little nervous. When it actually comes to getting on the ride there's a bit of you that tells you not to do it and to walk away. That is the time your sons gets upset. Pre-school is fun and exciting but he has to do it without you. He has to let you go and that's scary.

Drop and run sounds harsh but sticking around until he's settled may not be possible with a little one and he may not settle at all until you've left anyway.

If you think you staying around is making him more upset you need to keep it short and sweet. Tell him what will happen and that you will pick him up later. Take him in, give him a hug/kiss, say goodbye and leave with a reassuring smile.

Children usually get over this phase within a few weeks when they realise that it doesn't affect the outcome.