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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

4yo not yet dry at night but started refusing to wear pull-ups

17 replies

Jacksterbear · 03/03/2011 09:21

Just wondering if anyone has any ideas or suggestions. He has started refusing point blank to wear pull-ups saying "I won't wee I promise" - but he always does.

Have explained to him it's something he can't help and that all children his age (ahem, not quite true!) have to wear "night pants". However he has got it into his head that this is a baby thing and he is too big to wear them.

Have a teething 5mo so really not up for toilet visits in the night or changes of bedding and pjs. We have ordered the hippychick protector sheets (basically a sheet plus waterproof protector in one) but that doesn't solve the problem of needing to change the sheets plus pjs in the night.

Any tips on either what to say to persuade him or how to deal with this to make it as hassle free as possible?

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Original poster

Jacksterbear · 03/03/2011 09:22

p.s. in case it's not clear, I am very happy for him to stay in pull-ups if only he will agree to wear them!

OP posts:

Acanthus · 03/03/2011 09:27

Well, if he won't wear pull ups then he will have to deal with the consequences. Put out fresh pjs for him to change into, waterproof the mattress and make up a camp bed of some sort for him to sleep on after he has wet. Make clear that there is no need to wake you. Then after a few nights he can decide whether to put pull ups on, or whether he prefers this way.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 03/03/2011 09:56

I lioke acanthus suggestion BUT I know that dd would want help getting changed so it would be pointless (and the camp bed would look too much like FUN!!

DD wasn't dry until 5 (even now we still lift her about 10ish) yet dd2 was dry at 3 (completely with no lifts).

I used to work in a nursing home and we used 'kylie's' which were padded drawsheetss that wick fluid away from the skin, maybe that and no pj bottoms would help? (I'm pretty sure you can get them on ebay although not sure what they're called properly).

Original poster

Jacksterbear · 03/03/2011 10:53

Thanks for the comments.

Acanthus, sounds good in principle but agree with Doris that it wouldn't work in practice, for us anyway.

Doris, will have a search for the kind of sheets you mention.

OP posts:

evolucy7 · 03/03/2011 11:04

What do you do in terms of drinking late in the evening, and does he drink plenty in the day and go to the loo frequently?

On another thread similar to this, I posted this and one other poster said 'Oh no don't restrict drinks at night'. I have to say I disagree with this, and it is a fairly common view that late drinks are not helpful for bedwetting. Yes it may mean that they do not learn until later to wake up if they have a full bladder, but the alternative for many with 4/5/6 year olds who wet the bed is as you have said they wear pull ups when they don't want to or have numerous sheet changes in the middle of the night, neither of which are good.

I have a 3 1/2 year old who came out of nappies day and night just after 2 years, and she has probably wet the bed twice. I also have a 4 1/2 year old who I took out of nappies at night when I was taking the younger one out, she will wet the bed now if she is unwell, or drinks late at night or doesn't drink enough and go the loo regularly throughout the day, to ensure that the bladder gets full and empties well. She refused to wear pull ups, and actually if it is managed the wet beds are not frequent at all, I personally think that this is a much better way. I used to lift her at 10/11pm but then occassionally she would still wet the bed later, so I stopped and the bedwetting has not increased in frequency, but I did lift her for 1 1/2 years, while I have never lifted the 3 year old.

wideratthehips · 03/03/2011 11:16

my ds turned 4 a couple of weeks ago and is still a bit wet at night...seems to happen in the early hours of the morning.

he refuses to wear pull ups too so we put them on him when hes fast asleep

he does get up to go to the toilet some times so nappy comes off and wet bed in morning

try and see if you can get one on him when he is asleep

moneydunce · 03/03/2011 11:21

DS is nearly 5 and not yet dry.

He refused to wear pullups for a while but I got sick of the washing.

So we have a deal. If he doesn't wet the bed one night, he doesn't have to wear them the following night if he doesn't want them BUT if he does wet the bed, he has to wear pullups the following night.

He seems fine with this as it is based on a fact that has happened (i.e. last night) rather than arguing over something that MIGHT happen (i.e. not wetting tonight).

I make absolutely no comment about pull ups being good or bad to him though and in know way is it seen as a punishment.

evolucy7 · 03/03/2011 11:28

If a child has said that they don't want to wear what are essentially nappies when they are school age (or nearly) I would never want to be tricking them by doing it while they were asleep?!

Acanthus · 03/03/2011 15:10

Then he has to wear the pull ups! I'd put them on after he's gone to sleep, too.

DerangedSibyl · 03/03/2011 15:14

I assume you would be changing upwards of four wet beds a night for 3 years then, evolucy? Do you speak from this experience?

Some children are not yet releasing the hormone that stops kidney activity at night. They will wet the bed. They will continue to wet the bed until the hormone is released. In ds1's case, this was aged 7.3.

If I hadn't reasoned with him at four, that would have been 4/5 wet beds a night for 3 years. No sleep for him. No sleep for me.

Original poster

Jacksterbear · 03/03/2011 15:16

Thanks. Have been putting on the pull-ups after he's gone to sleep. Sometimes he doesn't mind. Sometimes he wakes in the night crying and demanding to know who put his night pants on.

money your deal idea is good, have been trying something similar but based on "if you don't wet your pull-ups tonight then tomorrow night you don't have to wear them" - but as you say yours is better as based on past events / solid fact.

OP posts:

evolucy7 · 03/03/2011 18:26

Deranged...I have 2 DDs 3.5 and 4.5 years old. Youngest has the wet bed probably about twice in 1.5 years of no night time nappies. The eldest has perhaps wet the bed on average once/twice a month for 1.5 years, they came out of night time nappies at the same time, just over 2 and 3 years. Actually I believe that the eldest may not have developed the hormone fully yet, but by 'managing' it as I said before, for my daughter anyway it works. I am not saying it does for all, but I imagine there are some children who are still in pull ups at night when they really don't need to be. I used to lift my eldest, but then realised that she still sometimes wet the bed when really tired, ill, or drinking late, and not enough in the day and going to the loo frequently enough, that I stopped lifting and have not noticed an increase in bed wetting.

I understand that for some children it can be very different, but the OP doesn't say that much about how often it would happen or when, if a pull up is not worn. I think sometimes it is too easy to just say oh the child is under 7 just stay in pull ups, when it may not always be really necessary.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 03/03/2011 22:57

Jacsterbear- I thought of you this evening as I wandered down the glamorous ilses of Lidl (of all places ), they had some on their weekly range isle. (Didn't call it a kylie tho'!)

wideratthehips · 04/03/2011 21:40

i do not think putting nappies on my child once he is asleep is tricking him.....i don't consider this to be a deceitful action.

i regularly apply creams to the children that are needed on face/hands when they are asleep as they can't go to sleep with the sensation....am i still tricking them?

i know my child, hes never had a fit in the morning about having a pull up on, if it was distressing him i would find another way around it

i dont trick my children i muddle along like most parents do so get a grip evolucy7

Zipitydoda · 04/03/2011 22:34

We use pampers bed mats (absorbs the wet) under the sheet to catch accidents then double up the bottom sheet so: mattress, bed Mat, sheet, bed mat, sheet.. Then you only have to take off the top sheet and bed mat rather than change the whole bed. You could use multiple bed mats on top of each other. This could get expensive though unless your DS becomes dry at night swiftly.

Jas · 04/03/2011 22:53

I also put nappies (not pull ups as he wets through them) on my ds, who is 5, once he is asleep. He doesn't like me putting them on him when awake, and even if I do, he takes it off to go to the toilet before he goes to sleep, but isn't upset to wake up with it on.

I also use the multi layering sheet, bed mat technique, and a double bed, so he can just be moved to the other half if necessary.

I will do whatever I need to so we can all sleep. DS would sleep in a wet bed all night if I didn't put a nappy on him, and I think that would be worse.

evolucy7 · 04/03/2011 23:12

wider...why are you saying get a grip?

I consider that if a child is not happy with it at bedtime then yes it is not a good message to the child, to find it has been done anyway. And you seriously can't get a bit of cream on a face?!

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