MASSIVE tantrum from 18mth old DD wanting her dummy, please help?!?

[CaptainNemo]

DD was in a lovely mood when I got home from work today, we played with her tea set and with the dog and had dinner, then it was bathtime.
She's quite reliant on her dummy and we (me, DH and the child minders) are currently trying to reduce her use of it. She asked for a dummy after dinner by pointing to the cupboard where they're kept and whinging, and foolishly we let her have one. I asked her for it and she gave it to me while I was getting her undressed for the bath, but somehow the little monkey managed to get it back (my fault I know) and when I put her in the bath I realised it was back in her mouth. She gave it to me fine again, but then when she realised she wasn't getting it back promptly went MENTAL. Obviously I couldn't use time out while she was in the bath so I tried to calm her down but eventually I had to get her out. I put her in her room for time out, but what are you meant to do if the volume of the screaming is absolutely no less at the end than it was when you started?!?
I went back but she was still thrashing about, trying to smack me in the face etc, so I left her again for another 2 minutes.
After that she was still screaming but at least let me get her ready for bed. She had a little bit of milk from her beaker and the refused any more and evetually.....I gave her a dummy [failure emoticon] because we're still letting her have one to go to sleep. She seems to have gone straight down now, probably totally exhausted, but did I do the right thing??? And if not, PLEASE tell me what I should have done!

Exhausted...

I wouldn't worry - she was obviously tired hence her behaviour. DS gets like that when he's had a busy day then us coming home from work fuels the excitement and it all gets too much. When we get home we try and keep it calm, have a quick bedtime routine then bed time.

Maybe only give the dummy for bedtime - keep it in her bedroom so she can't get it beforehand. But don't beat yourself up if she gets it before - if she asks, say I know you want dummy but later then distract her until bedtime. She's only little!

Ok, if she has the dummy for bedtime anyway, and she managed to get it when she was in the bath, I would have been tempted to just let her have it - she's a bit young to understand that you can't have it now, but you can have it in x minutes when you're going to bed. As you had already let her have it before bed, the message was probably a little confused for her.
Agree with Iggly that it's probably best to keep the dummy in her room, perhaps on her pillow so she knows it's waiting for her at bedtime.
If she asks for it at other times, distract, distract, distract!

We've started leaving DD's dummy in her cot - she's 22mo. I do have a spare in my pocket in case of emergency (She fell over the other day and split her lip so the dummy came in useful there). However, during the day she only generally has it for nap time, or if she's ill.

The best way to get her to understand that she can just have the dummy in bed is to keep it on her pillow as others have suggested.

Let her have it when she is lying in bed but ask for it as soon as she tries to get up again. Be persistent and consistent. If she is on the bed she can have it, if she gets down she put it on her pillow.

You could have a few tantrums while she tries to find out if she can get you to let her have it elsewhere but if you are consistent and do not give in ever she will soon get the message and accept the rule.

So sorry it's taken me nearly a week to thank you all for your messages, though guess that'll tell you what sort of week it's been! Have been trying the above tips, and will keep trying; have a feeling it's going to be a very long road! But good to know I'm not the only one facing this