5 month old 11pm bedtime

[ladykay]

My 3 and a half year old goes to bed at 7.30 and i had thought that by the time my DD was 6 months and sharing with DS (next month) she would have a proper bedtime. But while she often has a nap about 7, she is wide awake within half an hour. I try to put her down again at 9.15ish as this is the time most likely to work but it can still take ages so i sit upstairs all evening (she feeds to sleep - I honestly don't know how else to get her to sleep. I did this with my DS and he learnt to self settle eventually, but i don't remember him having late bedtimes at this age.) She then wakes three times which are quick but takes any peace and quiet all the way through till 11pm, MY bedtime! She has 3 daytime naps of 30 - 45 mins usually - i am trying to follow her pattern, except I now want that pattern to include an actual bedtime!

Sorry to hear that this is taking up your evenings. I am assuming that you are BF? Can't advise much on that as I didnt do it, but could you perhaps in troduce a bottle as the "bedtime" bottle? This may a.)help her settle better and b.)allow DP/DH to help you out a little?

My LO is now 5 months too and has had a 7pm bedtime for the last 3.5 months. We were lucky in that he took to this reasonably well with little fuss, but there were nights that we had to leave him to either chat to himself before falling asleep or to cry for 5-10 mins. You say she is wide awake - is she upset at this time or just chatting? If she is just chatting - then perhaps just leave her to settle back off?

Some friends of mine leave a muslin cloth next to there babies cheek (as is totally breathable material) as this helps comfort them and settle them off. Mine wont tolerate this however as he tries to eat it!

Hope to help a little. Let me know how you get on...

My almost 5 month old goes to sleep around 10pm, up between 7-8am but wakes in the night for feeds. She only sleeps about an hour total through the day. Also feed to sleep. I'm not too bothered, she obviously doesn't need the sleep but might try getting her to bed earlier when I start weaning.

Hiya,
My DD is 14 months now. For the first 6 months she stayed up during the evenings, cluster feeding - lots and lots of breastfeeds (usually 6) between 6pm and around 10.45 when I would turn in. I found it quite good because she then slept quite well and also the BF made me sleepy and so we would feed just before we both went to bed.

Anyway, just to say, she started going to bed around 9pm at 7 months, although often stayed up with us until our bedtime if we were away somewhere & she was unsettled. Then it slowly got earlier but it was 9 months and I was back at work and she was in childcare 3 days a week before I got her to bed around 7pm with any regularity.

I guess you'll have to go with your DD's schedule and maybe wait a couple of extra months before she's ready to go in with DS.

Thanks all, yes Calminsomniac, this sounds the most likely scenario, I'm quite happy to put off her moving, that's made me feel very positive.
SeaChelles, she is BF and sometimes chatting sometimes crying, but always crying if left. I've not been firmer yet, but never feels like she wants to go back to sleep at 8. I haven't tried a bottle, i will try to play it out i8 think!
fluffygaL, yes, that's a point, having a bellyfull of porridge in a months time will make a difference too i expect!

I think the problem could be the 30-45 min naps. Most babies that age need at least one longer naps. To get the same total naptime sleep they have to have an extra late nap which then makes bedtime really late.

DS was a short napper for AGES and it's horrible - we had lots of problems getting him to bed at points too.

I'd try feeding her again as soon as she wakes after a nap. It might be that she wants to go back to sleep but needs some help (it's really common & my DS is still like this at 14 months).

She could also be overtired because the intervals between naps are too long. Most babies this age need 3 naps. If they wake for the day around 7ish, the first nap is likely to be around 8.30/9ish, the second around 12/1ish and the third around 3/4ish (obviously it depends on the baby). A 30 min nap is often caused by overtiredness from being awake for too long between sleeps, so if she's napping for just 30 mins, work out how long she was awake for and try to shorten it a bit the next day.

The intervals of wakefulness do lengthen as the day goes on, though. (Once they drop to 2 naps around 6-9 months, lots of babies end up on a 2-3-4 pattern: first nap 2 hours after waking, second nap 3 hours after waking, bedtime 4 hours after waking.)

By about 6 months many babies' tired signs become less reliable so it might help to try to use the clock as well as following her tired signs. When I did this with DS at 7 months it got lots easier and I discovered that what I thought were his 'tired signs' were actually indications of overtiredness.

HTH