Does anyone have a really anxious 3 year old??

[tryingtobemarypoppins2]

He worries about doing new things, other people/strangers etc. The trouble is, when he does it he comes across as rude or naughty.
Any thoughts?

My DD is the same. She's 4 and is extremely shy in new situations.
She finds greetings practically impossible and 'thank you' is the hardest word in the world to say, even to people she knows.
She won't go anywhere without me, ever. She even refuses to go to the birthday parties of her friends unless I'm going to stay with her.
People find it especially hard to believe because at home, at school and in comfortable situations she is loud and confident.
I too worry that she comes across as rude in some situations, but I simply explain to people that she is very shy.

I know it's simply part of her personality and there's nothing I can do to change it. I find it hard to deal with because it is the opposite of my out-going personality, but she gets her from her Dad.
I am hoping that she will grow out of it or will learn to deal with it as she gets older.
In the meantime, I am also hoping that the influence of her out-going little brother will also help to show her than greetings can be said easily and that fun can be had without holding mummy's hand.

Try not to let it worry you too much.

i think that's just a general 3 yr old thing isn't it?
am sure no-one thinks he is rude, he's just being a 3yr old!

"People find it especially hard to believe because at home, at school and in comfortable situations she is loud and confident"

Just the same here too!

I find doctors/dentist hard too, he fears this big time! He gets really uptight and drags me away. Very embarrising sometimes.

We also had a situation last week when an old lady started talking to his baby brother. DS was very upset, toid her to go away "he is only a baby!" etc. I wish he remembered that when they are playing together at time mid you!!

My 3 and a half year old is so insecure in public but a right tearaway at home! He draws a very clear line between 'family' and others - he will relax with even distant family members he doesn't see often, but anyone outside his family group makes him withdraw into himself - sometimes he will even clap his hands over his ears when people are talking. Over the past few months he has grown a little more confident in that he will sometimes leave my side for a few minutes at Mums & Tots, for example, but it's a very gradual process. At nursery and playgroup he is the same - will not participate in any group activities and doesn't like too much noise or people.

My mum (a nursery teacher for 40 years) told me a few months ago that he could sense my tension about it, and that I needed to act as if it didn't matter. I followed her advice and this did seem to help a lot - instead of trying to persuade him to join in, I said nothing and carried on as normal, but I went really over the top with praise if he did participate in social situations. Now he feels a sense of pride and will tell me "I joined in today, mum!"

I hope my mum's advice helps, it seemed to make a difference for us. xx