problem child - ouch!

[allhallows]

One last question before I go to bed. My ds hit me today while sitting in the shopping trollety. I told him not to, very firmly but he kept doing it. I slapped his hand & he kept hitting. Don't hit! I said, realising how stupid I was to say that having just hit back myself. How do you deal with a hitting toddler?

How old? Distract? Is he hungry? Thirsty? IME boys can get very unreasonable if not thoroughly fed and watered. Turn it into a silly game, where on your command you both have to hit your head, bottom, ear etc?

Ignore as much as u can

He didn't get his afternoon nap!

Aha - then it's YOUR fault!
Yup, sleep, food, water.. they just lose all their impulse control otherwise, don't they?

He had a temper tantrum, too. Went all red, jugular veins out, everyone staring. Poor little boy! It is my fault but sometimes as a mother, don't you come up against some disciplinary problem that you can't find an immediate answer to? Like biting.

My DD does this occasionally. I never hit back because i have always found it to be counterproductive. (Same as when i tell her to shut up or something and then she parrots it back to me at a later time). I havent solved it but i usually ignore that behaviour and walk away or if at home i do time out. Im still teaching her though........

They all bite IME. Ignoring worked with ds, eventually. Of course, they do drive you bonkers from time to time, but I always feel guilty if I realise that actually it was my fault for taking him to Sainsbury's when he should have been at home having his tea, for example.

Honestly though, I do think that if I've not fed him enough at the right times, or let him get thirsty or not organised his sleep properly, it is really my fault if his behaviour is erratic and it's a bit unfair to punish him.

I've been tempted to bite back.

Or, if in a busy public place i use extreme distraction/change the subject kind of thing, try and make her laugh at something.

If she has a full blown tantrum i firmly but calmly tell her what i want her to do and then ignore the hissy fit and try and carry on - i dont care what other people think.

Keep a bag of chocolate buttons (if you're a Bad Mum) or a couple of Fruit Sticks/box of raisins (if you have a halo) with you at all times. Produce in emergencies in manner of magician pulling white rabbit from hat.

Agreed aloha. i never bother to go shopping if both arent well fed and not due a nap for a good hour and a half. I have a 2.6 yr and a 6mth old.

I always try and get 2.6 yr old to 'help' whilst on the way round and give her things to look forward to like, you can have x or get out of trolley when we have paid the lady (gone through the checkout). Then she knows where she is at.

hmm i am really anti the whol offering sweets when tehy get agitated.
i know its a quick fix and sometimes you just want to get teh shopping done without the world and his wife starring at you.

but you are just telling the child taht if he startsgetting fidgety or kicks off he will get a treat.

i prefer to ignore the behaviour. why give them attention for misbehaving.
everychild will undertsnad this no matter what age.
if he is kicking or biting you when pushing the trolley turn it around so he is faceing away from you.
when he turns to loko at you look at him and say i am not going to play with you while you are biting/hitting/scratching me. then ignore him until the behaviour stops.

whilst i agree with Aloha if teh child is quite young an older toddler still knows that just because he is hungry/thirsty whatever he cannot be violent.

and no i am certainly not a halo wearing left wing mummy who has perfect kids....i have just learned the hard way.