Getting dressed - how much should I expect from 3yr old?

[MyNameIsInigoMontoya]

Just wondering what other 3 year olds are like at getting themselves dressed in the morning, and what I can reasonably expect?

DS is perfectly capable of taking off PJs and putting on all his clothes himself, except he sometimes needs a tiny bit of help with tops, or reminding about getting shoes on the right feet. But actually getting him to DO it is a different matter - usually if I ask him about 10 times for each item of clothing he will get there eventually, but not without loads of nagging, counting etc.

Don't get me wrong, I am not expecting him to do it all perfectly the first time I ask But do think as he is able to do it, I should not be doing it all for him just because he can't be bothered, or he will never learn. Also as I am going back to work soon we will be under more time pressure, so it would obviously help a lot if he can do at least some of it while I get myself and the baby ready.

What do you think and what were your DCs like at this age? - should I give up on it for now or keep trying to get him that little bit more independent?

I gave up on it and found it quicker and happier to dress dc myself, then he just got to an age, 4 ish and I said if u can't dress yourself u won't be able to do pe at school so u can't start in Sept, you'll have to stay home with babies etc and that motivated him to do himself. He won't be 18, and still unable to do it, so just go with flow, be easy on yourself!

Personally, I found it quicker and easier to dress mine myself at this stage. Might not be a very popular view, but I don't really see what is to be gained by having independence when you are 3.

DS is 4 and at 3 I didn't really expect him to dress himself. Now, if I really want him to do it quickly I offer an incentive (a biscuit) if I only have to ask him once. Otherwise, I just remind him lots and when he starts asking me for breakfast or to play with him I tell him that he has to have his clothes on first.

My DD will be 4 in April and has just started to say "I can do it" when I go to help her.
Up until this last month or so, she has wanted me to dress her, even though she could do most of it herself.

We do a joint effort. I'll ask him to take off his pjs, then might put trousers on and ask him to help with the top etc. If he's tired or grumpy though I usually just do it all as not worth falling out over. Swimming helps as he's always excited to get into the pool so gets undressed and swimmers on in record time! We often have lunch at the pool or let him have 10mins in soft play so that's his incentive to get dressed after swimming

ds is 4 and can do it himself but he chooses not to (most of the time).
I am fine with it, it is much faster when I do it.

You could try a challenge like bet you can't put that on before I do something else. I find it is quicker to do it myself with my 3 year old dd but want her to be able to do mostly by herself when she does pe at school in sept. she likes a challenge but it won't work with everyone - you might need more of an incentive/bribe!

Mm maybe I should back off a bit then. It definitely gets his clothes on quicker if I do it myself, but doesn't make the whole process quicker as obviously I have to stop getting myself/DD ready to do him! So even if it takes him a while, it is still faster if he can do it while we get sorted.

Maybe I will try just relaxing about it for a while, it might even be that without me chasing him he decides to do some of it himself (but that might be wishful thinking!). At least it will mean less shouting in the mornings if I just do most of it.

PS I have tried the challenge thing, it sometimes works but often he just gets distracted and forgets the challenge unless I keep going on about it, which then takes as much effort as nagging him!

It's personality. DD is 3 and would happily kill you if you even suggested you were going to help her get dressed.

I have recently had my eyes opened on this topic! I have 2 boys (5 and 3) and both dress themselves competently. I do get agitated when my 3 year old fusses and says he can't do it as I know he can and more often than not ~I leave him to dress himself. My 5 year old - I wouldn't dream of having to help him. However, there are lots of mums at the school who still dress their 5/6 and even 7 year olds.

I think it is all dependent on the child and actually probably doesn't matter at all. I think as with most things we do as mothers - we should go with what feels right FOR US & OUR KIDS - not what other people think!!

Your 3-year-old might be physically be able to do it - or most part of it but at this age they will still get very easily distracted. You will still need to sit with them and basically tell them what to do. I.e. take your pants off, take your top off, put your underpants on, now your top, now your shoes etc. etc.

If you don't have the time (or inclination) to do that, just help them or do it for them. At 4 or 5 they will get much better at it - although still get distracted easily!

Depends on the child. My first still gets distracted (though I don't help him, and have refused to do so since he was about three!!); my second was dressing herself completely at two and has done ever since.

My 6yr old DS still likes me to dress him. He is perfectly capable of doing it himself, but I do it so that it gets done quickly, and also just because he is my DS!