Need evidence that toddlers need routine... any ideas?

[proudcoparent]

Hi everyone,

This is my first post so please forgive any faux pas...

I have a two and a half year old who spends three nights per week with his father. This has been incredibly difficult and draining and worrying etc etc. However, now my ex and I are on better terms it is working very well... except for one thing: I work a 24 hour rotating shift pattern and so little man sees his daddy for the three nights per week that I work (which are always different days).

I worry myself silly about 'usual' developmental changes...clingyness and tantrums etc, believing that our arrangements for him are somehow to blame for his difficult moments. However, the pre-school have told me that he is not coping well with being dropped off by one parent and picked up by another. He has become clingy lately too.

I am trying to create an argument for work to set my days to the same ones every week.They are reluctant. However, i think that perhaps if I create a strong argument and get Unison on my side perhaps they may relent. For this I thought I could tell them about the stress the situation is causing me and as a result I have been referred for treatment for depression. Also, that his father is struggling to cover my shifts and it causes problems for his work. My shifts are outside 9-5 so if my sons dad cannot look after him, there is no-one else. I think my strongest argument is that the pre-school have noticed my son;s behaviour. I just need some evidence that toddlers require a routine and predicatability but I don't know where i can find evidence of this that will hold water?

Has anyone else been in this situation? Do you have any other points I could make to strengthen my case?

I hope that made sense (was alittle rushed!)

hope to hear soon :)

Unison should help gather evidence for u. Thats what u r paying them for. Give them a call and they'll tell u how strong your case is.

why don't you speak to your HV and see if she / he will write you a letter? mine is doing that for me (shared care with XH not working for nearly 2yr old DD and i am going for residence). she is adamant that young children need to know where they are. you may find yours is prepared to do the same thing for you?

Thank you for your replies... this is really stressing me out. Ive been offered another job now with set days but it's minimum wage... half what I earn now. So confused and just don't know what to do but I appreciate your replies and will muddle through somehow! x

you are entitled to apply for flexible working if you have a child under 5. so on those grounds, they have to consider your request... i know how stressful it is. i really think you need to talk to a doctor or HV and get them to write to your employer. or do you have occ health at work?

Would your pre school be willing to put their concerns in writing for you ?