DD Tantruming 24/7 at 16 months - im going grey...help!!

[tiredbutlearning]

Hi there..

Im desperatly seeking advice from mums and dads everywhere.

My dd is a very active bolshy 16 months. She has really started grabbing, whacking, slapping and tantruming when I say no or she doesnt want to do something.

• getting dressed
• nappy changes
• sharing toys
• being told no

I have in the past been saying no and when she throws herslef on the ground...leaving her there making sure its safe and saying clearly - "when your finshed - we shall play!!"

It doesnt seem to be working?

I am at a lost to do when she lashes out...

Please help.

Im really collapsing here!

Gosh she sounds just like my DD. I just did what you're already doing TBH. If she lashed out, I just said no and moved away and ignored her for a bit. She grew out of it (on the whole) by 3.

Sounds like dd2. No real advice tbh as she's only 18 months. I do notice she's slightly improved recently, I think she's starting to understand what I'm saying a bit more and is managing to get across what she wants a bit more.

No miracle baby whisperer secrets then!

craftynclothy has hit the nail on the head - this phase is often caused by sheer frustration of not being able to communicate. You could try some baby signing or for dressing e.g. holding up two pairs of socks and letting her choose which ones to put on (hopefully - though it doesn't always work!). It will resolve when she can communicate better - honestly!

I could try that a bit morw - I have been saying "can you help mummy", "show me whats wrong", you put the fork in your mouth" to try and get her involved and to distract from the communication breakdown...but its exhausting.

I feel like im failing as I cant show her that tantrums arent worth it. I know it sounds silly - but Im surrounded by perfect still children..and still is a word my DD does..i love unconditionally but I am struggling with her fast temper. I suppose I could turn it and say its how clever she is....

I just really need some support.

Bringing up kids is sooooooo hard. You have all my sympathy. You're doing the right stuff, but it's just exhausting. Are you getting enough sleep

One day, this will all be as nothing, I promise.

Could try making a game of some of those activities. Nappy changing for instance, 'Now where are the wipes...are they under you tee shirt? No? under the table? etc.. Be silly, make her laugh!

Try reading a book as you get her dressed.

Make her feel like she has a voice 'Would you like to wear your red or your blue coat today?' Would you like your lunch in a bowl or on a plate? etc

Really choose your battles, 16months is very little to share.

Hold her close as she rages, sometimes they are trying to find their place in 'space' and also a true tantrum is very scary for as child as they feel so out of control so always offer a cuddle when they calm down but whatever you've said do stick to it! I know that's easier said than done.

DD4 is particularly prone to a tantrum and I pretty much let her get on with it but sit close by. When she's done we have a cuddle and chat. I always reiterate the 'no hitting' rule and she does understand.

Above all be grateful that she will grow up knowing her own mind and try to find ways to make her feel like she has some say in her world.

Best of luck!

Thank you ladies - i like the idea of making games out of the difficult pathches - and giving her a voice. I suppose I have been scared that if I did she will take control and i loose it. Stupid SuperNany nonsense.

I feel stronger knowing others have been through it - and i take on board all your comments.

Thank you!

Sleep whats sleep

my partner goes to work and do everything else!