I have a mindee who talks and talks and talks and talks and ...

[soreears]

..wel you get the picture.
He literally never shuts up. If we are having stories he talks or sings all the way through- not neccesarily about the story either. He ttalks through tv programmes or dvds, he talks when there are other grown ups around - getting louder and louder even is asked to be quiet.
He talks whilst eating, drawing playing etc.

Today a lady came to the door to check up on some work that had been done and I still don't know what she wanted as I couldn't hear a word she was saying as he was talking louder and louder over her and me.
I have tried
"when grown ups are talking you need to be qiet"
I have tried answering him straight away, even when i am talking to another adult - doens't work
I have tried asking him to shush and put a finger over his mouth, he does that but still talks with the finger over his mouth.

He goes to pre school and they say he never stops talking there either in fact the teacher there asked me what he was like at mine as she said he interupts story time or quiet time or "round in a circle time" because he talks and talks and they say that even their techniques for managing chatterboxes aren't working. Repetition is a big thing with him too. it is wearing me down, it's affecting how i mind the other children, as when we try to have group stories he is talking all the way through them, he is talking while I am talking to other mindees their parents etc.
he doesn't seem to get " shush" "or " quiet" and even asking politely to shush when i am trying to tell a parents what her child has done that day is impossible. One parent refuses to come in the house now
I have a headache every singel day by 3pm and am sometimes nearly in tears (and I have been a CM for nearly 10 years) and it's relentless, anyone have any coping or managing techniques?

How old is he?

He is 3 years and 5 months old

I don't actually have him just now, his mum has taken him to dentist

I'd take him out all the time
if he's running round the park you won't hear him!

Wonder if you can try to deal with the talking in the way that you deal with other bad behaviour, can you tell him to stop 3 times and remove it from the room for a couple of minutes?

I might be talking rubbish... in fact, I am just marking my place as I also have a non stopping chatterbox...

What does his mum say about it? IMO there's nothing wrong with the stream of conciousness that many small children come out with unless they've been asked to stop, in which case it becomes like any other behaviour you want to stop and you could us whatever tools the parents are happy with to manage it.

compo oh yes i can because if he thinks i can't hear him he shouts. Loudly. . I really am at the end of my tether but I feela bit like I should be able to deal with this, I am an adult with lots of experience. I just feel that his talking and how i manage it (or not) is affecting every aspect of our day to day routine, not just for me and him but for the other mindees too.
He'll ask a question, i answer, he'll ask it again, I'll answer he'll ask again, i answer. Then he varies it.
Today course of sentences went like this
"I'm going on a train today"
"I am going on a train today with my gran"
"my gran and grandad and me are going on a train"
"I am going on a train"
"the trains are at the station"
"There's a blue train at the station"
"The train is blue and has black wheels"
"I'm going on a train today"
"My gran has a train in her garden"
We weren't anywhere near any trains.
Each of thsoe statements was responded to by me, if I didn't respond it was repeated until I did, then he'd go onto the next statement. Even trying to distract, by saying "oh wow there are lots of trains, but look over there, there's a jet, lets go and look at it" results in conversation about tthe trains all the way to where the jet is sitting then a similar pattern of comments about the jets, then I try and distract him with, I dunno, a flock of ducks and then it starts again varying statements on ducks. in between allt his is just incessant chatter, I don't know how he breathes as he never stops

I don't know the answer I am afraid. My ds is similar although not quite as relentless. Not to be alarmist but has he been checked out? Is he running on adrenaline or something like that? My ds is currently being checked out for anxiety or possibly ADHD related issues.
I agree you should get him moving around as much as you possibly can.
I would also try to find an activity that absorbs him absolutely and totally (for my ds it is drawing - it gives us a few minutes until he then tells us in detail about everything in his picture)
Can he do a sticker chart or fill a pasta jar for every time he has not interupted a story for 2 mins and stuff like that? Have you tried the talking teddy? (He can only talk if he is holding the teddy and has to let others talk if they are holding the teddy)
Is he ready to learn to read a little for himself?
Is it dietary? Is there a food that maybe sets him off a bit more?
Would bach's rescue rememdy help a bit?
Would omega fish oils help a bit?
I will watch this thread for other peoples' ideas.
Good luck!!

Lol
I think you need to learn to zone out / tune out and reply on autopilot withut thinking about it iyswim
or keep hmmming and aaahing
he might get the message!

Talking teddy might work but he does get very possesive about toys so might be reluctant to give it other children to let them talk. The mum just says "OH yes, I ignore him he shuts up eventually"

It sounds awful but I wish he had an off switch. Just so that I could enjoy other mindees and they could get some attenton from me

Have you spoken to his parents about it? TBH I know some kids can talk a lot (mine does when big sis not around, never shuts up), but what you described sounds outside normal range - is perseverating the word for getting fixed on a subject like that? And might warrant an assessment. It sounds like pre-school might be thinking the same. And in any case it would be better for all the sdults in his life to be using the same strategies, no?

Another thing which slows down my ds is asking him to repeat what I have just said to him in response to his question/comment/inane chatter. I know it is still talking but he has to stop and think for a minute and it does stop the stream of consciousness flow a bit.

carrots - now that is something I've tried and he either says "I don't know" Or "I don't want to" or "but why". He cannot answer me at all when i ask him what I've just said - usually becasue he can't hear me over the sound of his own voice.

I might have a quiet chat with pre school, but don't know if I can. They (pre school) never see the parents at all, I do all drop off and pick up

The "off" switch for my ds is to hand him a ds console and game. It is not a tactic I like to use though. I save it for when I am desperate.

The other thing I have recently started using is a book on CD and headphones (sadly for him not me ) which seems to send him into his own bubble for a wee while.
It doesn't really teach co operating with others and respectful behaviour though but sometimes needs must to allow other dcs a chance.

I totally understand, one of the children I used to work with was like this, and it's so unbelievably tiring isn't it? he couldn't stop asking questions, the same ones, over and over, even after you had answered him. he was autistic though, and it was part of his anxiety issues. does your mindee have special needs do you think?

soreears that sounds so like my ds. I had to look him in the eye and get him to repeat back to me what I said. Eventually he learned to do it. I had to point out to my ds that I couldn't have a conversation with him until he could "hear" me.
I suspect he needs to be "seen" by someone though, if only to reassure everyone that there is not more going on. I can't imagine it is relaxing going on like this for him either.

Perhpas you should do some focused obs on his talking. Look at his eye contact, whether he observes normal conversational rules like pausing for the other person to speak, listening to answers, asking questions.

Do you have access to an advisory teacher or Area Senco who could come and see what they think? If you show them the obs they may be able to suggest a next step.

Talking without regard for normal conversational rules can be a symptom of and Autistic Spectrum disorder but it could just be that he really enjoys the fact that you respond to him when others don't. Young children also use this type of speech to order their thoughts so perhaps it's just an extreme case of thinking out loud.

If you need to get him to stop while you are speaking to a parent try putting your hand out towards him with your palm facing him and saying "Stop" firmly. It may be that he isn't getting the message that he needs to be quiet for a time. Also try telling him what signal you will give him when he can talk again so he doesn't have to guess. E.g. you can talk to me again when I shut the front door.

Good luck!

It does sound like he could have special needs to me. He's quite old to not get the rules of conversation at all. Have you mentioned it to his parents at all? Do they have any worries about his development?