5yr old obsessed with soldiers - how to teach him it's not all fun & games?

[Grockle]

DS has become completely obsessed with the army. It's all he can talk about. I have no problem with his interest in principle but I do want him to understand that actually, being a soldier can be dangerous, they do get hurt and they sometimes hurt other people.

He thinks that shooting people is fun and I feel very strongly that it is not (we lived in a scary place where we frequently heard gang-related gunshots during that day).

How can I gently teach him that being a soldier is not the glorious career he thinks is it? How can I do this without scaring him?

Is there a film that shows that being in the Army is hard? He's seen the Household Cavalry etc in London and that didn't help at all since he now wants a shiny sword and helmet like they have.

I have family linked with the army but they do not fight.

he is 5yrs old!... how many kids run around with plastic guns shooting there friends and laugh?....
i think when he gets to the appropriate age in school when they learn about the army etc high school then he will learn what the army is about and i doubt by that age he will still be running around. To be fair there is enuf doom and gloom in this world and kids knowing to much to young, why would you want to teach him what its really lke?..... thats like me telling my 7 yr old you dont by babys from toys shops and the bad side of motherhood...

My 4 year old and his older brother at the same age loved playing armies and action men.

I have never really discussed the moral aspect of current wars as it's rarely black or white as on TV. I have encouraged them to play rescue missions like "protect the Queen" or "save the animals stuck in the warzone" rather than "kill the baddie" or "blow up the baddie's base" as I have also lived in a "scary" place and don't want them to find guns etc glamorous but then again it's a very common phase and I wouldn't want to dampen their enthusiasm. My oldest outgrew the army phase after a year or so.

I don't think you need to tell him at 5 - in a few years time he'll see the news on TV much more than you probably let him at the moment, and he will see the grimmer side of wars. 5 year olds don't need to know the downsides of the careers, its just a game to them.

I know he's 5 and I know all children do this to a certain extent but it's become more than just play. I wasn't bothered when he was just running around shooting at things with his fingers and sticks.

We have talked about how the army do things to help people, like protecting the Queen and helping in disasters and places where it's not safe. I just wanted him to SEE some of that (not blood and gore and people dying) and to realise that being in the army is hard work. Maybe I am just too sensitive about this.

Thanks crazygracie, for reminding me he'll grow out of this phase

Dunno where you live? we live near an army training range. We have chats with nearly 5 yr old DS about why the soldiers are practising firing their guns and hiding from an enemy who might be trying to kill them. We have chats about how soldiers practise hiding in cold wet boggy places (like round here) so they are good at it if they have to do likewise in a battle. Also chats about why they practise low flying and picking people up by helicopter.

We can hear gun fire from the garden somedays. We find Military debris when we go up the hill for a walk, DS has to understand he is not to touch military debris.

Thanks UniS, there are lots of military things round here but I never know how to access them and the training is always done out of sight. I have found somewhere we could go which might help and perhaps I should take him back to the Tank Museum.

I want him to know it's not just the glory he thinks it is - that we are surrounded by soldiers who actually work very hard doing something quite dangerous. At the moment, he seems to regard being a soldier as something similar to being a Disney Princess .

Our local ranges have an open day once a year, with various regiments doing displays of this that and other. Its a bit of recruiting tool I guess but maybe you could inquire if anything like that happens near you?

Oh, I didn't know that. I'll have a google and see what I can find. Just looked at your profile and you're in the same general area as us so that's promising! Thanks for your help, UniS.

I used to run a Beavers group on a forces patch- most of the boys' dads were in the Army, and some were deployed. All little boys like some version of running around and shouting at each other, and "us and them" type games (soldiers, cowboys and indians, cops and robbers) are par for the course. I never discouraged games like that as long as they were good natured and everyone was friends again afterwards.
@UniS I understand why you don't want your son to touch "military debris" (I'm assuming you mean spent blanks, pyro remnants etc.) but fascination comes from the exotic, not the familiar. Most things you will find are probably ok to pick up and look at, but it's like mushrooms in a lot of cases- if you don't know what it is leave it alone. Use things to start a dialogue, like "look, there's a tent peg. There's probably been some soldiers sleeping here. What do you think they were doing?" (ps. soldiers don't camp!!). My husband usually has a little stash of harmless bits and pieces to give to children who want a proper army souvenir,(cyalumes/glow sticks are a good one for kids beyond chewing age). Children covet kit because it's rare and exciting- outside the forces world children don't meet soldiers, where they could potentially meet a doctor or a policeman.
Don't be alarmed at the stuff that's lying around though. The army is supposed to remove all "live rounds, blank rounds, empty cases, pyrotechnics and parts thereof" from ranges and training areas, but in inevitably some gets left behind. Most of it should be benign but if you are concerned that there may be live ammunition or unspent pyrotechnics you should contact the guard room of the nearest camp if it's just a training area, or the range warden if it's a live range. My other half plans live ranges, and there is no way a civilian should be able to get anywhere near the danger area of live firing exercises, and they have to account for every live round fired. If there is a live round which has not fired off properly then the officer or senior nco in charge of the range has to safely explode the bullet using plastic explosives. The gunfire you can hear is probably blanks- there's a bang, but no bullet.
Unfortunately, the army has a lot to do and hasn't got the time, money or manpower to do that, so community outreach tends to slide if you're an operational unit. If you want to find out about events I could suggest googleing your local HIVE (families information centre) and see if they know of anything the public are invited to?

Ds (also 5) has been keen on the RAF since he saw an airshow when he was 3yo. This has developped into a very keen interest in all military and particularly the second world war. Through this he has become very aware of the dark side of the miltary, he spends a lot of time watching documentaries and reading books. He doesn't actually do much of the "bang bang you're dead" but he does know that is not the real thing and in the real thing people don't just get up again.

We live in a military area so we do frequently hear gun fire etc.

He at present wants to go into the RAF, specifically wants to be a pilot. I am surprised at the number of people who, when he tells them that, turn to me and expect that I'm discouraging him. At present, he's a 5yo with an ambition that may well change.

I would discourage him from joining the RAF, but that's because I'm married to an Infantry Officer...