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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

6yr old DS behaviour - any advice??

28 replies

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 22:17

Recently had parents evening at school. My DS is doing well generally, but his teacher said he is a bright boy and is capable of doing much more if he would try harder. Apparently he is happy to "coast" along. She said some days he is excellent at concentrating and he has made massive improvements in his writing and reading and has even recently won the school award for a piece of writing. His teacher says that the problem is that somedays he comes to school like a different child - just doesn't listen, is very defiant and even sometimes rude . (He can be quite cheeky to me at home, which is something that me and DH are working on.)

The teacher questioned me about bed times and what he has for breakfast. He is in bed WITHOUT FAIL at 7pm and only has wholewheat cereal for breakfast (usually porridge).

I really can't think what is causing these disruptive days in him??

Or is it just his age?? He is my eldest, so no other child to compare him to.

TIA

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Bonsoir · 21/02/2011 22:21

TBH 7pm sounds terribly early for bed! Maybe your DS needs to do more sport?

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 22:27

Really? On school nights? He gets to stay up later on Saturdays, but is always so miserable the next day that I daren't let him go to bed late in the week.

He used to go to football and mutisports every wed and Thurs after school, but hated football. He now goes to after school club Monday to Thursday with his brother, where they burn up lots of energy. we go walking and swimming at the weekend.

Do you mean he should do more sport to burn up energy, or to build up his confidence, etc?

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Tgger · 21/02/2011 22:32

Is he getting enough attention? Could the defiance be attention seeking behaviour? Anything else upsetting him at some level and coming out in this behaviour? Clutching at straws a little....

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 22:40

I don't know, Tgger? The "not listening" is an ongoing problem. The cheekiness and defiance is a recent (ish) unpleasant addition. I have thought the same as you - Do I not pay him enough attention, etc. I try my best to give him all the attention possible, so I really don't know? I have tried to find out if anything else is bothering him - all to no avail...

I too am clutching at straws.

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MollieO · 21/02/2011 22:50

Maybe the days he concentrates at school are days where the schoolwork is more interesting?

Ds is in yr 2. He decided at the start of yr 2 that he wouldn't do any work at all. He found the homework boring and said if he did the schoolwork he'd just get more of the same and therefore couldn't see the point. His teacher said she couldn't argue with his logic!

This followed on from yr 1 where his teacher said she had never taught a child like Ds.

This term has been different. The work has changed and he is interested in doing it. For the first time ever in the three years since he started school he tells me about topics he is studying at school and is keen to do further work at home (of his own interest in the subject rather than set by school).

When Ds wasn't interested at school he would just switch off completely and get into trouble.

Tgger · 21/02/2011 22:54

Ah yes, that is the other theory and could well be the case. Bright child- bored at school? Not challenged enough? That suggests the problem is more with the teaching than the child .

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:06

Some of that rings true! He hates his homework, even though I go to ridiculous lengths to try to get him interested!

He is currently "in" to his handwriting, so that is why he is doing well in it.

He came home a few weeks ago full of enthusiasm about computer animation he had been doing at school, too.

I am not sure how I can change what happens in the classroom. What did you do during YR2, Mollio? Did you just ignore the behaviour and hope it would go away? [racks brain]

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Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:09

Sorry, Mollio. I mis read your post a little there. I see your DS IS STILL IN yr2 and is doing well

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littlebillie · 21/02/2011 23:14

I have 6yo and yes up and down at school, sometimes great, sometimes in trouble and always appearing to be deaf (we are having his ear tested,though I am sure it is just him being a boy).

I think our expections are too high, they are 6 most of Europe don't bother to formerly educate their kids until 7. I am not taking anything too seriously yet as I am sure he will settle into it next year.

He reads brilliantly, writes well, good at maths and socially settled. I think give him a break and remember what is problem this month will not be next!

MollieO · 21/02/2011 23:18

I had about three weeks last term of being the pushy parent from hell. I said to his teacher that if things were so bad then maybe Ds needed an Ed Pysch referral. I got the blame for lack of homework completion but that didn't address the lack of doing school work. They then did an ability test on Ds which confirmed he was more than capable of doing the work (so was genuinely bored rather than struggling). I've left his teacher to get on with things this term having made it clear that I'm not going to force Ds to do homework if he doesn't want to.

I used to be a fan of homework but the monumental battles I had with Ds last term has led me to revise my opinion. The work the school send home is inconsequential and more for parents' benefit than pupils. I never had homework in primary school and it didn't affect my education.

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:19

Hmm...perhaps I am expecting a bit much? The cheekiness is very testing though.

Teacher says he is not a naughty child, just goes deaf and does irritating things over again. He is usually mortified too when he is in trouble at school. Perhaps i am expecting too much from him??

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MollieO · 21/02/2011 23:20

Ds's yr 1 teacher made me get his hearing and sight tested. It confirmed that Ds just didn't bother to listen!

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:21

I must agree, Mollio, that homework can be a bit challenging. I think its a bit ridiculous at times TBH, at 6 years of age

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MollieO · 21/02/2011 23:21

Is he yr 1 or yr 2?

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:22

I am thinking of getting his ears tested ATM. I may leave it a bit now.

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Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:22

YR2

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littlebillie · 21/02/2011 23:23

He is 6 and a boy........

simpson · 21/02/2011 23:26

I don't think 7pm is too early for bed tbh.

Have you thought about enrolling him in beavers after school??

littlebillie · 21/02/2011 23:27

Mine does beavers, loves it and it is great outlet with friends. WILD

MollieO · 21/02/2011 23:28

Hopefully he will settle down as the work interest increases.

I found it hard that quite a few of ds's classmates are model pupils who always do their work without a fuss. Ds is one of those children who always has something to say but frankly I prefer him like that. His yr 2 teacher seems to now accept how he is, something that the yr 1 teacher never did.

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:29

YES! I have thought of that for a while, Simpson, as he loves fishing, walking (and generally getting wet and filthy) with his Dad. There is no local group, but I may consider driving to the nearest one if it would work. Do any of your DC's go?

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littlebillie · 21/02/2011 23:29

You didn't mention if he is happy?

Original poster

Hamkin · 21/02/2011 23:31

My son does sound pretty similar to yours, Mollio. I can't help wishing sometimes he was a "model" pupil, though he is such a lovely little personality otherwise. His comments sometimes secretly make sense and often crack me up TBH

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littlebillie · 21/02/2011 23:31

If I play games Connect 4 etc, he is great at home. It gets harder to get our attention as they get older, but they want to interact with us as a more of grown up. He LOVES Risk.

Games also get us all talking.

simpson · 21/02/2011 23:33

my DS (yr1) is not quite old enough but I keep meaning to put his name down on the list but keep forgetting But I know he will love it...

Do you think it could be his ears??

My DS had to have grommets put in at the end of reception and his concentration had definatly got worse...as had his speech.

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