Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Flip

Original poster

Help! Tantrumming toddler, and I am at the point of tears yet again

15 replies

grinningbee · 21/02/2011 14:02

She is 22 months and I have a 3 month son. I am trying to spend time with her and play etc, but am bfing on demand so not always easy.

She hasn't been well for the past week (d&v) but is ok now. However, we now have a different little girl.

She is currently screaming, throwing herself on the floor, hitting me, I offer her the whole range of what she could want to no avail. She is just screaming "mummy" over and over. This has been happening for the past few days.

She won't let me cuddle her, but is in front of me staring at me and crying.

Can't go out as dh has the car, and it has the pram in the back.

I am fairly sure she is tired, but all hell lets loose if I try her cot.

Anyone have a magic solution? Pretty please

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Original poster

grinningbee · 21/02/2011 14:03

Oh, forgot to mention, if she does ask for something specific and I do it/get it, it's the wrong thing

OP posts:

Original poster

grinningbee · 21/02/2011 14:10

Anyone, please?

OP posts:

mumbar · 21/02/2011 14:15

It could be the fall out of being ill. Often when you can't work out what the child wants its becuase they don't know either iyswim?

Normal tantrums are over wanting something and being told no, wait etc.

No real suggestions except maybe curl up on sofa with her to watch TV, she may fall asleep? You can BF your DS from there too.

Also try Minidex tonic. If shes had D&V her body may be out of balance and that should help.

MarineIguana · 21/02/2011 14:18

Oh dear it sounds like normal terrible twos stuff, exacerbated by the new baby. Really sorry for you! It may be that stage where she realises the baby is here to stay and she's adjusting.

I didn't have this age gap, so it wasn't this bad for me, but OMG when DS was that kind of age he was a NIGHTMARE. That thing where whatever you do, nothing is right and they kick off again... it's so draining. But it is normal, and it will pass in erm, maybe 2 years? (Sorry!)

If you really are in tears and feeling desperate then it can help to phone parentline. They are lovely. here

The other thing is, AWOL pram aside, try to get out as much as you can. Anywhere where your toddler can hare around and burn off energy - soft play, countryside, beach etc. Tantrumming toddler is tough anyway, but it's 100 x worse when you're in all day and the minutes and seconds just drag by.

MarineIguana · 21/02/2011 14:20

Oh and for right now, maybe try an unexpected distraction eg let her get loads of plastic stuff out of the cupboard, or dig out a toy she hasn't seen for a while, or pick up a book and start reading it to see if she joins you - or yes telly may help her fall asleep. Good luck!

3littlefrogs · 21/02/2011 14:21

You poor thing. We have all been there.

DH needs to remember to take the push chair out of the car before going anywhere!!!

I agree - sofa and TV is probably the best option now.

Is she hungry? Thirsty?

Original poster

grinningbee · 21/02/2011 14:31

Thanks everyone.

I tried reading and got "NO MUMMY" shouted at me. Singing also did the same. She asked for milk so I got her some... she threw it at me. She didn't want cuddles on the sofa either.

She is now asking for Mr Tumble. And it isn't on.

I can see the funny side sort of, and it's certainly putting me off from having a third a little bit!

We always go to a pub on a Sunday afternoon, and she tantrummed there (regulars don't mind they've known her since she was a bump) but someone else commented. I took her outside and ended up crying. The person who commented left after a bit and walked past me and did it again when they could clearly see I was upset as was dd. It doesn't help, does it.

OP posts:

mumbar · 21/02/2011 20:38

No it doesn't help but you do have to learn to ignore it. and Wave, and wave.

I hope the afternoon improved for you?

ffried · 21/02/2011 21:22

why not try giving her one to one attention, a day or morning or some time where the two of u do a bonding activity, the park, the local zoo a proper outing where u both can bond and just enjoy each other. include her as much as possible with the new baby. try not to stress its probably a phase. be patient with her x

Tgger · 21/02/2011 22:10

Awwwwwwww, be assured it's completely normal. Exhausting but normal. Ignore comments etc, just keep doing your best. Be kind, offer cuddles, distractions but then if that doesn't work just detach yourself and think "well, I've done x,y, z, you're still screaming... it will pass".

My DD is 27 months and currently not napping so that come 3/4pm she is a nightmare and often screaming. I am getting used to carrying her round woods screaming whilst my 4 year old happily plays with sticks/goes on adventures in the background .

I hope she will nap again soon but in the meantime I shall do my best and make sure the red wine is stocked up for the evening .

sarahlawrence31 · 22/02/2011 14:30

It is funny how the upset of a new baby manifests itself, but your daughter's behaviour sounds completely normal to me. My son was 28 months when I had my baby and we went through HELL until the baby was about 4 months and then suddenly me eldest started behaving himself again.
At the time I didn't put it down to the new baby as it didn't seem to be directed at him and there was no obvious jealousy, but the bad behaiour (tantrums, crying, refusing to cooperate on ANYTHING, grumpiness which never seemed to end!) was all attention seeking, I now realise. It was definitely his way of saying "don't forget about me" and I wish I had been more sympathetic (not saying you're not - just that I wasn't after a while!). Good luck, it will pass.

abenstille · 22/02/2011 15:40

can you try doing some soft singing in a darkened room to see if she starts yawning - then go for bed.
Or put some exciting plastic crap in a bubble bath?
sorry, some days its just hard!

skybluepearl · 23/02/2011 19:06

www.amazon.co.uk/Playful-Parenting-Lawrence-J-Cohen/dp/0345442865

ellasmum1 · 23/02/2011 22:28

my little boy is 2 and a half and we are going through similar.
I can totally empathise with how draining and frustrating it is.
Ds will go for a nap in his cot since introducing it every afternoon around 2pm.thats when he gets really tired.He'll have around 1 to 1 and half hrs and then i wake him.Hes alot better then,for a while anyway.

I find if he sleeps for too long it has a negative effect and hes grumpy and inconsolable when he gets up
.Its particularly awful when you cant understand whats upsetting them.My ds was crying and SO upset the other day at breakfast- sobbing over his coco pops (which he'd asked for),and saying something like "dont want like this!" over and over .i could not get to the bottom of what it was.He sceamed even worse if i tried to help or offered to take the offending bowl away!!
So my heart goes out to you xxx

Original poster

grinningbee · 01/03/2011 12:47

Thanks again everyone

I try to do something with her everyday on her own (well, while ds is in the bouncy chair). Current favourite is drawing a dinosaur for her.

I know it'll all pass eventually.

In the last couple of days she has started watching ITNG at bedtime, an when the closing credits/music come on she cries! Bless her.

It's such a big learning curve, this child rearing

OP posts:

Flip