i need a method that works.

[BooyFuckingHoo]

ds2 is 22 months and a nightmare. he hits and lashes out all the time and nothing will deter him. he is too young to understand toy confiscation. he wouldn't make the association. i have eben doing the naughty step but he just will not give in and stay on it. i can't use the bottom of the stairs as he races up them it is afr too dangerous so i have been placing him on a mat in teh living room. he wont stay. i persevered last night for 40 minutes and he did not sit for longer than 10 seconds once. in the end i gave up. i was shattered running back and forth putting him back, i dont have the energy for it and ds1 is hardly getting any attention because i am so busy trying to prevent ds2 from trailing stuff out of cupboards, throwing stuff etc. as soon as he is told no or removed from something he hits. i tell him no hitting or you will go to the naughty step, he hits straight away again and even en route to the naughty step he strikes out at things as we pass. he is so defiant. he laughs a she runs away from the naughty step. i need something taht he will learn is a consequence for hitting. we dont hit. ds1 would be punished for hitting but his brother is hitting constantly and it seems that nothing is deterring him. what can i do?

Ignore him, I bet he's doing this because he gets lots and lots of attention every time he does. Make a fuss of both childrens good behaviour and remove yourself and ds1 from the room whenever ds2 starts hitting and throwing. Might take a few days for the message to sink in but without audience I think the aggressive stuff might away.

Is there a set time that he is at his worst? Does he have things to do? Is he tired? I do believe in a punishment for poor behaviour, but you have to think about why he is doing it in the first place. Does he have a good routine? Does he get out to play outside every day?
In general saying "no" "don't do that" etc are useless unless there is an alternative to do.
e.g. throwing things in the house - "we don't throw things indoors, the train is for moving on the ground like this... look, shall we make a train traffic jam? What other vehicles can we play with, what noise do they make etc."

he sleeps 7-7 and usually has two naps a day so i dont think he is tired. he is at his worst when ds1 is here he sees things taht ds1 is playing with and wants them but doesn't want to wait so he hits ds when he tells him "no, wait" he has his own little toybox of toys but his attention span seems to be non-existent. when we sit down to play he will jump up after 30 seconds and go pull out something else, then 30 seconds later he is off again and i am trying to tiday away what he has already pulled out. i seem to spend my time clearing up his mess, i try and get him to help before he moves away and he shakes his head and runs away. i try and make it fun, i get ds1 involved and make it a game but it rarely works, he is off interested in something else. he gets outside everyday. we have a garden so we just go out when he asks. he loves being outside but obviously i cant be out there all day and he has a tantrum when it is time to come in. i feel like i can't ignore hitting. ds1 would not be ignored for hitting. and i dont think that when he initially lashes out taht it is an attention thing. i think it is just his automatic reaction to being told no.

What I meant was to tell him no, hitting throwing etc is bad and unacceptable but try to avoid the chasing round the house, up and down the stairs, naughty step etc as to him it's a game and gets him all your attention. Just instead give him a row and give all your attention to his brother whilst the bad behaviour is going on.

ah right. yes i see what you mean. i will give that a go. so just say "no hitting" and then ignore whatever he does after that?

Yes, also check out the thread a few down from this one, similar problem and people have suggested a few things. At the end of the day it's attention seeking, and it looks like removing yourself or the child from the situation either physically or by not engaging in punishments which actually give attention might be the way to go. Good luck x

thank you. will check the other trhead.