5 year old daughter worried of being left alone

[shavmcv]

hi mumsnet im new to this so hope im doing it right !!

i would really appreciate any advice i am worried about my 5 year old daughters recent behaviour.

it started last summer when, is she was playing in her room, she begun shouting on me or running around the house looking for me just to make sure i am still here. if we are visiting, she would refure to leave whatever room i am in even if it is a home she is very familiar/comfortable with. if there are other kids to play with she can will usually come round, but if not she would be stuck at my side.

when she started school is august, she would scream and cry i the teacher left the classroom, saying she doesnt like when there are no adults she feels alone. this has settled down now however she has begun to randomly cry during class saying she is worried no one will be there to collect her. its funny as she is the one pupil that would never happen to - my mum works in her school !

is this a normal part of her development ? i feel its a lot of insecurity and worry for an otherwise happy, healthy and well behaved 5 year old.

hope that wasnt too long-winded any commets would be greatly appreciated !

My daughter is 6 she doesn't like being left anywhere on her own, if I am upstairs she is upstairs, if I am downstairs she is downstairs.She has to call into me to check where I am.I have gotten so used to it now I can't remember if she has always been like it.

I realised she had problems though when it affected her more of the night, she refused to be on her own and me and her dh tried everything.Although we have never been told that she is like it at school so maybe she don't get left at school.

But my dd worries alot and I no she went through a stage of having bad nightmares, have you spoken to your dd about what could have caused her to feel that way.Why does she think she is going to be left?

A child's imagination is a powerfull thing and just reasurance should help, hopefuly it is a phase though.

My dd is getting a bit better, sometimes it just takes time :)

I've never been sure how normal this is! My 5 yr-old dd has always been like this at home. She won't be in a different room to me - she won't even go upstairs alone to get something from her room. If I am cooking, she plays at the kitchen table.

I don't think it happens at school - but surely there should always be an adult in the classroom.

Interesting that this is new behavior for your dd. Perhaps she has become aware of the possibility of loss in general. We had a very hard year when dd first discovered that people die.

Just last night at bed time dd was saying 'Don't ever do anything to leave me mummy, you must never leave me'. I do feel very anxious when I hear her talk like that.

wow thanks so much for the fast reply!! thank you for the comments i feel better just knowing there are other mums around going through the same thing !!

mommmmyof2: i have asked her why she feels like this and she says "im just scared. i just feel like your going to forget about me" we have to walk past her bedroom to get to the toilet and the front door, so before she goes to sleep every night she says "tell me if you are going to the toilet" to make sure when we are walking past her room we are only going to the toilet ans not out the front door. that being said, she generally goes to bed/sleep well,and sleeps in her own room right through the night.

every night before she goes to bed i reassure her, and same with every morning as i drop her at school. i have told her when the teacher goes out the class if she begins to worry to think to herself "she will be back in a minute everything is ok" repeatedly until she is back

acinonyx: i dont know where it has came from she has never been left anywhere on her own, i have never been late picking her up anywhere or anything else like that.

im thinking she is maybe just gaining more awareness of the world and feeling like a small fish in a big pond. she is very academic and is way ahead in her school work, so i think in school she just has too much time for her mind to wander !!

will ur dd's play in big soft play areas or parks ?

Funny you should ask that. I just took dd to a soft play at the weekend and we were meeting a friend. Friend was 40 mins late and dd absolutely refused to leave my side until friend arrived. I really thought we might be past that by now.

I might be going back to work FT soon and I am thinking how she will cope.

My dd does go into soft play areas and is quite confident but it is weird how she has to know all the time where I am, maybe it is just part of growing up, lets hope it will get better with time :)

i had my dd to a soft play on sunday and she wouldnt even go and play with her friends unless i went in too. that was why i posted i thought that was the final straw wioth it i need to speak to someone about it.

its funny you should mention work i only work 24 hours a week but i work in social care so i work shifts and sometimes do the occasional sleepover. dd seems to cope well with this however i am beginning to wonder if she is not coping and this is how it is manifesting ? i am looking for a 9-5 anyway so i can be with her every night, so will be interesting if that helps (if i can even get a job in this economy! )