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DS has gone feral

4 replies

hairymelons · 20/02/2011 12:55

He's 2.8yo and has been pretty good up to now...yesterday however he spent the entire day gleefully looking for ways to be BAD. He was chucking stuff, jumping up and down on the kitchen table, slamming doors, not listening to a word I was saying...and in between times clinging to my legs crying for a cuddle.

We don't have any 'sanctions' in place as such as we haven't needed them yet. Naive perhaps but he's a sensitive soul and was always v eager to please.

I've only REALLY shouted at him twice, once for undoing his seatbelt and once for running out into the street. It made a big impact on him but...I don't want to spend all day shouting at him, plus I need to save the big guns for the serious stuff.

Just not sure what to do really...I asked him why he thought I was telling him to stop and he explained it all v well! So he gets that he shouldn't do it.

Bit of background- 4mo DS2 has had health problems which has created a lot of extra stress. Like I say, DS1 is v sensitive and hates hearing his brother cry. He is ill atm and was crying all day yesterday. I was v takn up with DS2 so he was desperate for attention. We were also cooped up in the house and it was stressful so I understand why he was behaving that way. I just don't know whether to be zero tolerance (and how to do it) or to make allowances and help him deal with how he feels...WWYD?

Sorry long & rambly, DS1 screaming on my lap as I type!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Nanny0gg · 20/02/2011 13:03

You've answered your own questions really.
He hasn't gone feral, he's just worried about his brother and desperate for some of your attention.
As he seems to understand the situation, can you explain that you can't do xyz at present, but as soon as DS2 is asleep you'll spend time playing/reading a story/whatever he likes?
And if you can manage a quick cuddle (from you, not instigated by DS1) when you're in the middle of all the stress it will probably help too.
Are you on your own with them, or is there anyone else to help with what must be a really stressful time for you all? Or to take DS1 off for some special GP time or something?

matana · 20/02/2011 13:41

I really sympathise, it must be very hard work for you.

It's just one day - he sounds lovely most of the time and it's clear to see why he's been like it. I agree with NannyOgg, but if he has another day like it once you've tried cuddles/ attention/ talking etc. then you need to perhaps deal with it more robustly so a habit doesn't form. It sounds like just raising your voice and showing your displeasure with his behaviour would be enough to bring him back in check. If not, maybe introduce a naughty step as a last resort - or positive reinforcement to reward good behaviour if you prefer. Perhaps ask for his help with your other LO and get him involved where possible so he feels like he's helping you?

Good luck with everything.

hairymelons · 20/02/2011 18:46

I know he hasn't really Grin he was just so hell bent on causing mayhem yesterday.

He was fine this morning until DH left for work then things went a bit wrong with DS2 and we had to go to hospital. He's had a day at my aunties (who he adores) so has had some individual attention. Hasn't taken him long to get wound up again now he's home but DH is distracting him with jobs. It's much easier when DH is around but he works v long hours so I'm alone with them at evening/ weekend. Both GPs v far away though they help as much as they can.

Anyway, sorry, I did just ramble on and answered my own questions Blush ..I'm just having a confidence crisis. The idea was to help him recognise how he feels so we can divert full scale meltdowns. But after yesterday I'm wondering if that's just naive and I'll end up shouting/ bribing all the time and may as well just get on with it.

Re. cuddles- he asks every minute or so throughout the day. I do try to get in there first but it's hard! I'll keep trying though.

Good idea about involving him more, he loves helping. We do praise him lots- too much maybe, I don't think he hears it any more.

Thanks for your thoughts, very helpful :)

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 20/02/2011 19:52

And don't beat yourself up. You've clearly got a lot on your plate and you're doing everything you can.
Good luck!
:)

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