The world champion chatterbox?

[colette]

I know compared to two year old tantrums or food fights this sounds trivial but here goes. My dd is 4yrs 9 mnths and talks constantly, she always has.
I am now finding it more of a problem because
a)Sometimes I am so sleep deprived (due to 10wk old ds) that I am less tolerant and I do feel guilty about this.
b)I have had quite a few comments from other people not critical , but all saying the same thing - that she talks all the time .
c)She constantly interrupts when anyone is talking, sometimes speaking louder to talk over their voice.
I have watched her playing in the park and even if there is a group of 5 or so children it is only her voice that can be heard.
I have tried to make a game of being quiet just for a moment but it wasn't very successful.
On a more selfish note it means I am often interrupted on the phone and cannot watch tv or listen to the radio whilst she is awake. Not that at her age do I expect her to be totally quiet if I am doing any of these things and I don't want her to feel ignored. She is a loving and bright child but I feel she is old enough to learn to take turns(or at least try) but I have not been very successful in changing her behaviour. Any advice or similar experiences ??

Just a thought, but if she is louder than all the other children, could she be a little deaf? I am, and dh sometimes has to adjust my volume knob! Maybe she should have her hearing checked?

I don't think so ,IKWYM tho., she has heard things I have trouble hearing, Dh is partially deaf and he speaks quietly. She talks over other people quite often and is impatient generally

No suggestions but she should marry my DS1 - he never stops talking either.

I'll be watching this with interest. My daughter is till a non-stop talker and interrupter at 6. Plus she wants to know everything I say. So if I mutter something under my breath in the car it results in a:
'What was that mummy?'
'er,oh nothing'
'no you said something'
'No, it doesn't mattter, I was just talking to myself'
'yes but what did you say?'
'It doesn't really matter, it was nothing'
'no you did say something'

ad infinitum

nothing helpful to add but just thought i'd say my dd is 2.6 and talks ALL the time. when my mum takes her out we time it so she'll sleep in the car and sometimes i do have to snap when i'm driving!!!!Bless! It is great they're so articulate though!

Thanks for all your replies, SD I had thought it was a female thing. Oh no, ds might end up the same
Batters I tried that she still interrupts , but I will keep at it .
Tinker lol,I have exactly the same banal conversations . If I drop something and dd is in another room I have to spend ages explaining why I said "whoops" It is never any use pretending I didn't say anything. She is here now in full flow. I have even tried using a personal stereo for a few minutes respite. Hoovering doesn't work as she seems to get hyped up by the noise of the hoover and talks louder than it.

Colette, huge sympathy at trying to balance the needs of a tiny baby and an incredibly talkative schoolchild. Our ds is also the same so he and SoupDragon's ds can fight for the hand of your dd later on - or maybe one of them can take on Batters' or Tinker's dds.
I think around this age children go through quite a complex surge in development as regards the wider world. I guess they realise it can be a challenging, bad or even sad place and maybe they feel they need to assert themselves in it more than before. Maybe that's why there are so many nippers on this thread sassing their mothers, shouting down their peers and laying down the law generally. Ds surpassed himself with my parents recently, at times it was like taking THREE bickering pre-schoolers round the park ("are you going to apologise to me, young man?" "NO, old grandpa"...ad nauseam. Thank goodness I had a buggy to cling to, I'd have been lying on the floor with exhaustion otherwise).
I think you are doing the right thing in gently and persistently encouraging her to take turns, listen, not interrupt, etc, but I don't think you should be at all hard on yourself that it doesn't seem to be working yet. Give it time, we have made progress on the shared usage of the TV recently, even if phone calls are still a bit tricky.

just having a snigger about your 'three pre schoolers' marina.

Definintely not a girl thing - my oldest ds was like this too. The upside, social and communication skills turned out to be his strong points the older he got. Recently he's devloped a love for singing hynms very loudly but precisely, after messing around talking in assembly for years, so his word flow has been channelled more positively.

I agree with batters, if your dd is at school, she'll soon begin to learn what happens if she talks when she shouldn't. All that stimulation during the day might mean she'll want to quietly veg out more in the evenings with you.

Anyway, Colette, in another year or so you have a perfect way to keep your dd quiet (going on my experience) - gameboys - I gave my son one when he was five and a half, it took him a while to get the hang of it but when he did, long peroids of silence were guaranteed whenever I needed a break Very useful on long journeys.

Also a bit later still, when my son started reading books for pleasure, the constant chattering always stopped when he got to an exciting bit. So buy easy to read books with lots of cliffhanging exciting bits in them

I can really sympathise, Colette, my ds is a non-stop talker too. He'll interupt anyone. Sometimes it's nice that he's so chatty & open, but other times it's either embarassing - bending the ear off the post man who clearly just wants to run away & lie down in a quiet room, or irritating - ie when he interrupts every conversation I try to have with anybody, or makes me cross, eg when ds2 dares open his mouth & ds 1 shouts at him to stop talking.

I try to keep patient. If I'm on the 'phone I explain I'll give him my full attention when I get off. I have heard suggested that you set a timer & showhim/her when it ends they'll have your full attention & this will train them to wait without interrupting - I've not gone this far yet tho'.

If I'm talking to dh I ask him to let me finish my sentence.

It's tricky 'cos on the one hand they're bursting with stuff to tell & that's good, otoh they really have to learn that interrupting is not a good thing.

Intersting that you've got this problem with dd. I thought it was a boy thing - at any age, their motto seems to be 'why talk when you can shout?"

It's great to hear similar experiences.
Monkey anyone who dares come to the door is subjected to full details of what she was watching on tv or what she has been doing etc. and they they smile inanely trying to walk backwards slowly. So I laughed at your postman scenario.
I will look forward to buying a gameboy and I am going to buy one of those kitchen timers to try.
I find if I tell her to be quiet it really doesn't work , distraction is better. Although you'd be amazed at what she talks thro' - eating, sitting on the toilet, brushing her teeth.
I have to laugh at her drawings as they are so "busy" and have at least 15 or so people in them and lots happening so showing me a picture means 10minutes of telling me what's happening in it.
she has just started school and I haven't noticed any improvement yet. By the way unless your sons are princes she's not interested and at present is going to marry her brother. She may consider a "merman" as she's going thro' a mermaid fantasy stage.I'll be mad by the time I go back to work

He he - have had great fun reading this and am pleased to see that your children are just as talkative as my DD.

Sometimes I feel like my head is going to burts and I realy have to stop myself my screaming at her to shut up - sounds really mean but we were stuck in a traffic jam for 2 hours a while ago and she just sat there talking at us - it was utter bollocks too - she made hardly any sense (she is 3) but lives in fairy/princess/glitter/pink/sparkly world and it gets so annoying.

I have tried everything too making it into a game but she is quite happy to lose - she has said that then she can talk so does not mind losing, I have tried giving her stuff to do but she just gives us a running comentary and if you just ask her she says 'no, you have to listen to me' ggggrrrr.

They do make me laugh though - she will literally talk to anyone and introduces herself, me and DP to everyone we meet from check out girl to the postman and everyone who passes her in the street. If DP is not with us she explains where he is and what time he is going to be home and she evengoes as far as telling people her plans for the next few days.

Good side is she is v.clever and articulate and everyone thinks she is adorable and also she speaks quite softly whereas best friend says of her DS that he has 2 modes - shouting and sleeping!!

boe did laugh at your post! my dd is exactly the same and will talk about anything she is 2.6 and often someone in a shop will say "hello whats your name".....then she's off. when dp and myself are talking she will shout "top kalking", we are just teaching her not to interupt so now instead of shouting "top kalking", she'll shout"cuse me...cuse me".....bless them

Angeliz - you just wait until she says -ssshhhh, you have to all be quiet and listen to me now - is so funny but she does sound like a pretentious little cow!!

Just thought am going to try and get DD to ask people questions about themselves rather than just talking about herself - will at least sound interested and not just pretentious then!!

LOL, she does like to be the centre of attention.i used to always get told off in school for talking too much and she is going to be exactly the same! i agree with you though that it's lovely when people always comment on how bright and articulate she is. Her latest words are"oh that is abalootly magnificent!" God knows where she gets it all.

i also think it's funny that they remember so much. my dd woke up the other day and said"i didn't want to sit on cismas knee"..i said "do you mean Santa Claus?" and she said " yes i didn't remember what he was called!".This happened 9 months ago!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My ds 3.7months never ever stops talking. He talks to the till ladies, neighbours anybody who is prepared to listen. I'm suprised he doesn't have mouth ache, he even sleep talks regulary. He also talks really loud, almost shouts when he is excited. Ithink it is fairly normal for children of this age, he interupts and starts to get really annoyed if you are talking on the phone and he can't talk to the person on the end of the line. I have tried all the things you have Colette and none work. So i have just put it down as another phase in my child's life that will soon pass. Probably got it from my side of the family, we all like to chat a bit!!

snap my Ds talks constantly he's 2.5 but I reckon I've got the worst guys - his vocabulary is a little choice at times (which is getting embarrassing) he has this very posh little voice and he is incredibly polite when he says "mummy can you switch the fckin telly on" and my favourite "mummy I fckin love you" aaargh its my DH he doesn't do it often but enough for my Ds to have contextualised it (my thats a long word) anyhoo we are trying desperately not to swear but its so hard not to laugh...although clearly is not laughing matter...

know i shouldn't laugh morph but that's hilarious.

can be quite funny, he's just got the hang of language so well that I'm afraid we can't say anything in front of him that he might repeat. The thing is he knows he gets a response when he says it, which has made it worse! He told my MIL that his Auntie wasn't having enough S*X (she had be moaning to me in front of him) its all getting a bit embarrassing now though (she thought I'D mentioned it!!)

Poor dd is quiet now or rather "quieter" because she has a blinding headache - just been to drs with her. Dr thinks its a viral infection .
Not my favourite way of getting her to turn the volume down.

colette I also have one of those dd's but I can't blame her its definitely in the genes (from my mum of course not from me - much). My dh is like it too so we have 3 people in the house competing to talk. Don't worry it's definitely a sign of great intelligence!

Colette - both my two are like this, and it is incredibly wearing, isn't it?

The bad news:
School doesn't help - if anything it gets worse. Because they have to be quiet in school all day, they seem to talk even more the rest of the time!

The good news:
It does give them confidence to talk in school, to ask questions if they don't understand, and this is a big advantage in state schools with large class sizes. A teacher can't ignore/overlook a chatterbox!
It does increase/improve their vocab, and this helps with readings. Ds1 is a fantastic reader, and as Tigermoth said, he can't talk at the same time ... peace at last.

Things that help:
I do try and teach them rules of politeness and conversation, and insist that they take turns with each other, and with me. Sometimes we use a prop (a teddy or something), and you're only allowed to speak if you have the teddy.
Try and encourage her to wait for a short time, and not interrupt - I hold a finger up and say "wait a minute, I'm talking", but ensure I don't make ds2 wait too long, and always praise him afterwards if he has waited patiently.
Don't let her 'drone on' continuously; encourage her to have real, two-way conversations with you, when you give her quality time, and listen to what she has to say. But at other times tell her she should 'witter on' inside her head, not out loud, because nobody is listening.