Shyness or am I creating a bigger problem?

[custard1]

Hello. My dd is 3 years old and overall really well behave and happy in nursery and at home. She is very sociable with people she knows and I have no other concerns. However, I am starting to dread large group activities such as birthday parties and toddler things because she is refusing to join in, wanting to stay with me. This I could deal with but when people try to speak to her or other children try to interact she becomes awkward, scowling and burying herself away. I feel embarrassed because she seems so rude.

I was hoping for advise on how to manage this. Do I put consequences in place or ignore her? Please help!

Please just bear with her. She clearly feels uncomfortable in large gatherings, and 'consequences' (such as?) won't make her enjoy herself.

I couldn't leave DD2 at a party until she was nearly five, in contrast to her sister who was a party animal at an early age. She was particularly shy if there was an entertainer, and hated loud noise of any kind. She was a total wet blanket, in short, but we just went along with it and stayed with her until she was ready to let us leave her.

She is a slightly shy 10 year-old now, but not abnormally so, goes to the school disco (she refused for several years) and the livelier whole-class parties, and is known as the funny one (ha ha I think) amongst her group of friends.

Three is very little.

Thanks for that. On reflection I completely agree with u and will endeavour to be patient and calm. Yesterday was just a bad day.

Don't worry about it. My son is similar, and he's 4 and a bit. He's actually got a lot better in the last year, but still tends to hide behind me when other Mums try to chat to him- he will chat when they come for play dates etc, it's just if it's unexpected.

I tend to just smile and not comment about it unless it is necessary to say something, then I just say "he's a bit shy". Most Mums smile and are very understanding. He's got a lot better at parties, is a bit slow and prefers to watch initially but then joins in really well. He is much better if I don't put any pressure on him and just say "it's ok, you can stay with me and join in when you're ready".