Nearly 2 and avoiding nearly all protein

[BaronyArch]

Ok, it sounds fairly normal: nearly 2 and getting more fussy. But the thing is I feel that the behaviour thing is getting in the way of the physically hungry thing and so he is going hungry and I'm reacting badly, How to change it?

To backtrack, right at the beginning, 6 months, I tried purees and babyrice for 1 week and by the end of it he rejected everything on the spoon and had a hideous rash over his cheeks which lasted for 3 weeks, so after a friend prompted us I switched straight to BLW.

This was a delight. It was great for him, mealtimes were long and leisurely and impressed the HV no end. But then we went on a holiday when he was 9 months to stay with a friend with 2 older daughters and it was just quicker to spoonfeed so i did. Then I never looked back. And yes, I do feel hurt when I've spent time preparing something for him which worked in the past and then which is not touched.

He has about half a pint of milk during every day, and on top of that I offer say cheese at lunch and a supper with either egg/ fish/ chicken/ lentils in some way.

This eve he completely rejected the chicken in pilau rice with peas which has been fine in the past. I even resorted to making a pancake with chopped spinach which he only half finished -then I look at myself and can hardly believe I am doing this as presenting an alternative meal surely encourages him to be fussy. But really this boy eats only trace elements of protein these days.

His weight and height used to be completely average but when 1 and a half I measured him and he had dropped off the height and added on the weight. My mum told me on no account to call him Short and Fat! but it is hanging over me. Basically he will eat endless quantities of bread and fruit. Does not touch scrambled egg, hummous, spaghetti bolognese or any sort of potato (unless chips if we're out and I indulge.) In fact I now make bread with all sorts of things smuggled into it - potato, spinach, seaweed, carrot...I just wonder how he will manage if he continues to narrow his choices and actually has to be sent to school or even nursery in a couple of months.

Surely the boy needs protein and not just bread? And I think back to the days he used to grab chicken and eat it or wolf down grilled mackerel. Now if he senses chicken in anything he spits it all out.

And back to my main rant, the spoon! he yells if I don't feed him but the thing about today is that he also yells if I do spoon feed him! turns head away and cries. I just don't know how to react, I'm not such a saint as the people who can just remove the plate and end the meal.

Sure, I compare his behaviour to my upbringing - i was taught to finish whatever was on the plate and called fussy by my parents because I did not like cooked peppers, now I had friends at primary school who were fussy eaters and I knew I wasn't. I think of all the people in the world who don't have the luxury to be fussy eaters and wonder if I've engineered him this way or if it was inveitable to an extent. I'm determined not to have a son who is super-fussy but I look at what I have nurtured and it looks like he's getting that way - help!

This sounds like my 2 year old at the moment. People (ie in-laws) used to praise his appetite, now all he wants is bread, fruit, snacky type stuff! However, he will not win! I still offer him a hot dinner in the eve but in smaller quantities because I can't bear the waste. Sometimes it helps if we sit down too. If he doesn't eat it - tough, he goes hungry. Although I do worry he'll be hungry and wake up so I've started offering him a banana half an hour before bed and he has milk. I will NOT give in to this. I'm not having a child who ends up eating turkey twizzles and chips at dinner time because 'that's all he'll eat'. I think it's a case of just trying to 'ride it out'.

Sounds very typical (sorry). Just remember, if they are healthy, active and growing they are getting 'enough', even if you feel it would not support a fly.

My one piece of advice is to keep offering a range of food, even if most are refused. My kids would be OK with something, then turn their noses at it the next 6 times it was on their plate, then start eating it again. If you drop a food every time it is refused you will end up with a child that eats only toast, yog and chocolate buttons.

I found the 'being fussy' stage lasted 18 mo but ds2 is now coming out of it. It was worst at 18mo when he became a veg refuser but we are now up to carrots, broccoli, potatoes, onions (if diced v. small), sweetcorn, brussel sprouts and red cabbage (!). This has take a lot of me biting my tongue, and a lot of wasted food, I can assure you.

Thanks 2cats, I feel supported to realise am not alone, I'm so adamant not to have a fussy eater than sometimes I can just see myself forcing my will upon him (and then losing). Put some fishfingers in the supermarket trolley this eve and felt the slippery slope to turkey twizzlers.

And, BarbarianmUm, know exactly what you mean, did not offer him the fish fingers but sat down to an evening meal, all 3 of us having the same thing, with a tried and tested dish of rice, peas and salmon which was super succcesful last week and only managed to witness 2 mouthfulls or so going in to our young boy. Then I was frazzled because upset and he was frazzled because tired and hungry. Just awful.

Had a dreadful eve last night which saw me and toddler both descending into tears at the dining table with not very much food eaten. Pregnancy hormones complicating it a bit but that's just how it is at the moment and can't see our way out of it.

I did the thing you hint at, stopped offering broccoli after he went off it (he used to eat a great deal every day when really little) and then months later recently gave it a go again and found that he does eat a little! So I have to remember that nothing is concrete.

Meanwhile am changing a lot of too-loose nappies (TMI i'm sorry) and suspect it's because only things going in are bread, fruit, some veg and a lot more fruit...

Have a hunch that the HV role is to ensure we're not bringing up real problem families whose teeth rot before they've all grown in and my little "lack of protein worry" in an otherwise roly-poly boy will not cause them to haul the dieticians in. So, this is why I'm super grateful to have your responses on mumsnet. Any other ideas welcome too.

Hi OP, I think it is only natural to worry about what your boy is eating. After all, nowadays there is so much info about what the perfect, healthy balanced meal should look like. There are those pictures of the food wheel with exactly the right amount of protein, carbs etc on it ...

The trouble is, small children simply do not eat like that. It's much more natural for them to balance out the different foods over a period of weeks, rather than eating balanced meals. It is absolutely normal for a child to eat bizarre combinations or develop a fad for one particular food. This is all fine - if you are offering a wide range of foods, he will take what he needs when he needs it.

Plus, don't forget that small children are using up unbelievable amounts of energy growing and running around. They need a high-energy diet, which means plenty of carbs (bread, fruit, etc ...) and healthy fats. I think many of us overestimate the amount of protein they need - as long as you are offering, he will be getting what he needs.

Please try not to feel hurt by his eating patterns. They sound entirely normal, he is not rejecting your meals - which sound lovely and very healthy!!

Finally, if he is nearly 2 then from a developmental point of view it would be really good for him to get used to feeding himself again - even if this means some frustration at first. Do you think you might be able to return to a BLW approach, which is really appropriate for his age?

I hope this helps!