DD age 4 1/2 = teacher says she is a loner is happier on her own than playing with other children.... feel sad :(

[josben]

DD has always been a bit of a worry - she has been a bit fiesty and with 2 big brothers can be a bit boisterous at times, but when her reception teacher told me this i am worried. What can I do to help her mix with the other children more?

TIA

She sounds very young to be labelled a loner. Has she been in school since September?

Visits since sep, full time since January

I wonder if teachers realise the trauma they cause us mums with these comments?

At 4 1/2 it's perfectly normal for them to prefer to play on their own. Some will prefer more social play and developing their social skills is one of the targets the teacher will have, but your DD is not at all unusual.

When DS1 was the same age I was told he "didn't form relationships". Looking back I over-reacted, but I was devastated. It was true - he liked to play with anyone or on his own, what he played was more important to him that who he played with, so he'd play with whoever was playing a game he fancied, or on his own if no-one else wanted do what he did. I worried myself sick. In hind sight it was a good thing, he was (is) strong willed enough to do what he wanted rather than be tied to what a small group of friends were doing.

By the time he was 7 he had a group of 8-9 closer friends and now at 9 there's a firm group of 5. Don't worry and in future when a teacher makes these sort of comments ask her to elaborate on why it matters and who unusual it is.

Not unusual at all then. She will come into her own when she's ready - particularly if she's feisty.

Mine's been full time in reception since September and is only now just starting to make friends.

There are several in her class who are not really connected to one or two particular friends.

I agree with Create, it's actually far better to have the confidence to play with what you're interested in.

Mine tends to hide behind other people. She'll start doing an activity but the minute her friend walks off, she'll follow leaving her picture or model half finished.

Try not to worry and give it some time.