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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

14 weeks and HATES being outside

17 replies

MadAboutQuavers · 17/02/2011 20:39

I'm totally at a loss as to what to do, and wondered if anyone else has had the same problem as I'm currently having.

DS is 14 weeks and is a smiley, placid, and cuddly little baby. Except when he goes out in his pram or in the car for any length of time, i.e. longer than 15 minutes.

After this point, he begins to writhe and grizzle, and he eventually screams the place down, tears streaming down his little face.

I always check to see if he's too hot, too cold, uncomfortable, needing a nappy change, and always try to feed him before we go out. He's breastfed, and I get the impression that he's only really happy on my knee, in the comfort of our living room, with my nipple in his mouth.

Am I being too impatient? I would just like to get out of the house more, and for longer. I try to take him out in the pram everyday that the weather allows, but he seems to hate being out - even breastfeeding while out only calms him for as long as he's latched on to me.

Has anyone else had this issue and found a solution, other than waiting until he's 5?

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Blatherskite · 17/02/2011 20:45

The world must be such a huge and scary place when you're so teeny (in fact, it's quite huge and scary when you're 32 too)

Could you try a sling maybe? It would keep him snuggled into your chest, all warm and smelling of milk, while you were out which might help sooth him. BF while out is a good idea too.

And remember the MN mantra - "It's just a phase. This too will pass" He'll get used to the big, wide world, it just might take him a little longer than most :)

wholeymoley · 17/02/2011 20:54

I've 3 dc's. here's my 2pence worth.

if you are sure you've checked any possible physical discomfort, the tme you take him out (in erms of his routine) could give you a clue as to why.

Could be wind, tiredness, or just a phase or crying in his pushchair / seat.

Most babies (whether on a routine or not) eat, are awake(play) burp, fill nappies, sleep - then repeat their own particular routine again.

check the times you are taking him out. i.e it could be wind, if you always take him out say 10 mins after he's fed, he could just be getting wind at that time (even if you've burped him). check for signs of wind (white skin colour around mouth, balloon-like tummy, grimmacing & drawing up legs). burp him, or give colic medicine if needed.

He could just be going to sleep - do his cries start to tail off?

make a note of what happens over a day or so and see if theres any pattern.

Original poster

MadAboutQuavers · 17/02/2011 20:54

Thank you for that - it never occurred to me that he could be frightened!

I thought it was because he was just very clingy, but him being overstimulated could be it as he's a very alert and "with it" baby, he takes everything in.

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wholeymoley · 17/02/2011 20:56

not clingy - most babies love being next to their mums!

Original poster

MadAboutQuavers · 17/02/2011 20:59

Wholey - unfortunately his cries never tail off, he just gets more distraught until I either stop and feed him. As soon as he stops feeding, he cries again, only really settling down again when we get home.

I'm wondering if he's getting tired. He can't sleep in the pram as he seems to find being out very stimulating.

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Original poster

MadAboutQuavers · 17/02/2011 21:02

And I understand the point about him not being clingy - I'd just like to be able to go out with him IYSWIM!

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wholeymoley · 17/02/2011 21:25

read your babes' body language and listen to his different cries.

what are his signs of tiredness?

i know my babes get tired after they've fed and been awake for a while. their skin around their eyes gets red / darker, their eyes get 'smaller' (just like you or i would after a long night!), their cries get loud and irritated, then have a 'trail off' (notes descending) ( can be anything from 1-10 mins of crying even if i am holding them)

you know your baby best

wholeymoley · 17/02/2011 21:26

try putting the sun shade over your pram to block out stmulation if you think it's that

SJisontheway · 17/02/2011 21:39

Sounds like my dd1. I think she was very sensitive and didn't like strange noises, lights etc. Couldn't bring her anywhere - she was only really content at home. I hope it will be the same for you but she gradually got better and was pretty much over it ny 4 months or so. She couldn't handle really noisy places for a while, but there was a quiet little coffee shop I used to take her to and we built up from there.

Original poster

MadAboutQuavers · 17/02/2011 23:05

It's difficult, cos his cries tend to be ones of "I'm fed up/bored/want to be picked up" - this is why I think he's just wanting to be as near to me as possible.

SJ - DS is the same. Last time I went in a coffee shop he was inconsolable. I'm going to try building it up in quiet places and hope I get the same results as you!

Thanks everyone

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MoonUnitAlpha · 17/02/2011 23:09

I would definitely try a sling - keeps him where he wants to be (close to you) and you can get on with your day.

Blatherskite · 18/02/2011 08:41

Do you have a sling club near you? They often let you try them out before you buy so that you can see if you and the baby like it before you spend any money.

We've got a Moby wrap. It's lovely - relativly cheap too. It's a long piece of soft stretchy cloth that you wrap round the two of you to make a little cocoon for the baby right on your chest. DD always looks so cosy and comfy in it. Much, much better than DS in the Baby Bjorn. There's even a way to wrap it which lets you feed on the go which might be perfect for you.

SJisontheway · 18/02/2011 10:16

I just thought of a couple of other things that helped with DD1. She never really took to the sling - I borrowed several, but she was much happier when she moved from lying flat in the pram to sitting up in her buggy. I know most manufacturers recommend 6 months, but I think once there is a decent recline, you can do this a bit earlier with most babies, once their head control is good and they aren't slumping in the seat. She was much happier when she could see around her. The same for the carseat. At around 5 months we had to give back a baby seat we had borrowed. Rather than buying another baby seat we bought the britax evolva, which is suitable from birth but you can then turn it around and use it for an older child too. So she was still facing back, but was much higher up because of the carseat design so could see out the window. It may have been that she was just settling in herself anyway when we made these changes, but they seemed to help.

Original poster

MadAboutQuavers · 18/02/2011 22:29

SJ - you read my mind! I tried this today and converted his pushchair to the sitting position so he could see. Didn't work, he started to cry after the usual 10-15 mins

Blather - not sure on the slung club, I'll check it out.

After a very short walk today, we fed the ducks and he watched me with a big grin on his face. We then walked the few hundred yards to the park and I sat on a park bench, next to his pram, and chatted to him. He watched me for a minute or two and then he started to cry. He stopped when I lifted him up out of his pram and cuddled him.

I've come to the conclusion that he just doesn't want to be parted physically from me at the moment, so I'm hoping the sling will work.

Doesn't help in the car though! He will hopefully grow out of this soon...

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Original poster

MadAboutQuavers · 18/02/2011 22:32

SLING club!!

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threefeethighandrising · 18/02/2011 23:14

Slings are brilliant. I didn't discover them straight away, I wish I had. I would avoid the Baby Bjorn though - although they're very popular I think it's more down to marketing than being a quality product - they're not good at all IMO!

Next time round, if there is one, I'll have my baby in a wrap-around sling from day one.

Sling meets are a good way to try out different slings, but you can't go much wrong with a Moby or similar (or an Ergo baby for bigger children) IMO.

As well as being lovely and snuggly having your baby close to you, being convenient having your hands free, they're also reckoned to help with your DC's speech development (because they can hear you talk that much better) - and also being so close to you helps young babies learn to regulate their breathing.

Tryharder · 18/02/2011 23:51

Sounds like my DD when she was that age. She's fine now (7 months)

Sling is the way forward.

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