What rewards/pocket money etc do you give your 6 year old?

[bodiddly]

Ds is just turning 6 and Ive decided to try a positive reward based approach to his behaviour than the usual shouty attempts at punishment. I am fairly strict, probably overly so at times and feel I am not really getting through to him. He is not badly behaved, just the usual showing off, not listening, copying his peers type behaviour. Taking toys away etc doesnt work as he isnt really attached to any one thing. He doesnt get tv during the week either so that isnt a threat! So I thought that as he turns 6 I would try to give him a bit more responsibility, later bed time, treats or pocket money etc IF he behaves. So, does anyone else do this successfully? What time do your 6 year olds go to bed? Do you give them pocket money and if so do they get to spend it on what they like or do they have to save part of it?

Any and all ideas gratefully appreciated!

Lol at the presents, ds had nearly the same ... ds had a scooter from the same company last Christmas from his aunt .. and the ELC Tower of Doom for Christmas from her this year! He is also into lego atlantis and has asked for some lego ninjago now having seen the advert on the tv! The only thing with lego is that he doesnt tend to play with the sets once they have been made so they seem like a lot of money for something that needs dusting on the window cill!

I am not sure what budget his grandfather has but I wouldve thought £20-30 ish maybe and his aunt about £30 ish. I am trying to avoid plastic superhero type toys etc as I feel he gets those from school friends etc and are only played with for a short time. I like where possible, to have presents that last a little longer from family.

Ds loves the Dinosaur Cove and Beast Quest books as well as the Magic Treehouse series.

I know what you mean about trying to stay away from gifts that friends might give and something more lasting from family.

My ds makes the Lego sets with his dad and then breaks them up and makes his own thing with all the pieces he has from all the sets.

Would he be interested in a decent keyboard or proper mini guitar or something like that?

What about a simple digital camera?

Schleich animals and fences etc?

I will keep thinking.

I did wonder about a keyboard actually ... and perhaps some earphones to go with it lol so I dont have to listen to the plinky plonking! You mentioned your dcs play musical instruments .. what do they play?

He has one of the vtech kids cameras but to be honest I dont really encourage taking it out etc as its so big and bulky to carry around. A small camera might be a good idea.

We have a violin and the drums in this house.

The violin is musical enough now (we have been through the pain barrier there) and the drums have dampening rings on them to make it bearable.

Dd would like a keyboard and piano lessons as well as her violin but I don't want to overwhelm her. I will need to have a think about it.

wow a musical family! I am going to look at the keyboards though I have a feeling it could be a two minute wonder unless he gets excited by actually learning it rather than just bashing the daylights out of it.

for the risk of being nosey ... what do you do with birthday/christmas money that your dcs get? Do they get to keep it and spend it ad hoc or do they have to save a proportion of it? Ds doesnt really get any but did have £20 for Christmas from someone. I havent given it to him but felt maybe he could have £10 of it and the other £10 can go in the bank.

I would look for a very very simple book to go with it with a cd or even a dvd to go with it too...and headphones, definitely headphones.

The musical element comes from dh, not me. He plays guitar and drums. My piano teacher told my Mum that maybe there was something else I would like to try as a hobby!

sounds like me ... I was forced to play the violin at school and as am tone deaf never quite managed to get past the hideous screeching stage.

£5 per week pocket money for a 6 yr old plus other treats? .

Very glad my 6 yr old doesnt know what Mumsnet is!

If I went down the £1 a day route Ds would have a higher disposable income than me

Mollie did you read the whole thing? Half of that is used to buy Christmas and birthday gifts for friends and family and they don't always get all of the other half.
Where I live I am very stingy too!

Ds uses his pocket money £1/wk to buy family birthday presents. I help him with friends presents but it still adds up to far less than £260 a yr! If Ds misbehaves he doesn't get his pocket money. I just think that £5 a week is very high (am extremely stingy though!). Not sure what the norm is amongst my friends but not sure I want to find out in case Ds discovers he might be getting less than his friends .

It is a personal choice Mollie. Personally the pocket money saves me a fortune as they don't ask me constantly for things as they know the answer will be, "Yes you can have it if you save your pocket money up for it!"
They receive far less than their peers in this area, who also don't buy gifts with their pocket money.
It is within our budget so it is reasonable. They don't receive £260 a year as they do make mistakes and not receive their pocket money.
I don't think this was the point of the post though. I was trying to offer a bit of help to someone who was trying to bring their child up with some standards. I don't think that deserves a bit of grief about my choices when they have no impact on anyone else. I made it clear that I didn't expect the op to offer £5 a week to her ds as her ds is an only child and much younger than my eldest child.

thanks Carrots for all the advice. Tomorrow is ds' birthday so we will start the new system. I have decided that he will earn 25p a day for doing his reading writing, mathletics and learning to tell the time - the proceeds of which will go into the bank as savings. He will also then have the opportunity to earn 25p a day pocket money by behaving well, keeping his room tidy, bed made and the usual daily chores. He will obviously lose this if he does not behave. I will continue to buy him books as and when I see things I think suitable but he will have to use his own money for anything else. He doesnt get given much money but anything he does ie. birthday/christmas etc .. half will have to go in the bank and the remainder will go in his new birthday ATM/cash machine. Obviously he is quids in if he gets vouchers lol!

I am bringing in a slightly later bed time and a half hour reading time once in bed. He will revert to earlier time again if he doesnt behave. Hopefully he will see all this as a privilege for being 6 now. Im hoping he doesnt suss that he will be doing the homework etc and not actually seeing any gain for it if its for savings into a bank account lol .. if he does then maybe I will have to re-think!

I hope he has a great birthday and feels more grown up with his pocket money and bank machine.
Good luck with the later bedtime too.