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I really need your opinions about this...

14 replies

womba1 · 16/10/2005 08:49

I'm not sure where to start so apologies for the garbled way in which this is probably all going to spill out.
My ds is 2.6 and on the whole a very happy, smiley and friendly little boy. He has the odd temper tantrum which is inevitable but as fast as he gets annoyed and throws his toys around, he then calms down and wants cuddles.
He chatters away incessently (sp?) and babbles, saying the odd word that my dh and i can understand but he doesn't have any proper conversation. He seems to understand things we say to him... such as... wheres your juice or shall we take your shoes off, for example. Sometimes he acts on what we say,other times, especially with me, he'll stick his fingers in his ears and just laugh at me! He definitely responds better to the males in his life, such as my dh, my dad and my brother, all of whom have deep scary voices.
However, yesterday i had an awful day with him yesterday and comments my parents made have really got to me. I'm also 24 weeks pregnant and feeling raher tearful this morning. So, here goes...
On Friday,my wonderful sil picked my ds up in the a.m to give me a break. He stayed with her, my brother and niece and nephew (4 and 7.5) Friday evening, and they bought him to my parents place yesterday afternoon where i'd spent the day.
The minute he walked in,he was soooooo aggresive! He kept slapping me quite hard and throwing stuff around. He seemed really angry and my brother said he'd woken up in a bad mood and it had lasted all day. If anyone said no to him, he screamed or if i tried to cuddle him, he wriggled and slapped me. My dad was getting annoyed with him for hurting me and kept saying that we should take him to see someone about his behaviour! I felt close to tears all afternoon and like a really incompetent mum . My mum and dad think the world of my ds and say he's the most adorable little boy, so when they say that perhaps we ought to have his behaviour looked into, i find it really upsetting.
After my brother and sil left my mums yesterday, we sat down to eat and my ds was starving. After eating, he calmed right down and turned back into my little cuddly boy.
He was tired because he'd been to the park and playing with his cousins and hadn't had a nap, so i think this was the cause of most of the upset... but i now have a niggling doubt about his behaviour, and it's really upset me this morning. My dh says it's just the way our ds is and that he'll talk when he's ready and that he'll grow out of the throwing/angry phase.

Sorry, i know that was a ramble but what do you guys think? Am i just being hormonal and super sensitive, or does it sound as if we have a problem? Please be honest with me..thanks x

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
auntymandy · 16/10/2005 08:52

ok
Calm down.
He was punishing you for leaving him. simple as that. Plus if he cant be understood very well he will have become frustrated. He isnt a bad boy. Give him extra cuddles today and reassure him you are here for him. He may be worried about baby coming etc.

bobbybob · 16/10/2005 08:53

it sounds as if his blood sugar dipped and he couldn't cope with his emotions. The fact that he calmed down after eating says it all really.

My ds is a lovely sweet boy unless he's tired and hungry and then he acts just like your description. Distraction with a biscuit sounds like it would work on 2 levels for you.

I think the talking issue is different, and hopefully someone will have some advice.

Responding more to males is just something to do with being 2.6 I think.

Of the 3 which is troubling you the most?

auntymandy · 16/10/2005 08:55

my ds was a late talker..but I knew he understood he will be 3 at christmas and talks really quite well now.

HausOfHorrors · 16/10/2005 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ghosty · 16/10/2005 08:58

Womba, there are two things I see here ...

  1. He was grumpy because he was hungry ... you say that after he had eaten he had really calmed down. My DS gets really crabby when he is hungry. Some children, and adults, get like this when their blood sugar levels drop. Did you find out what he had eaten that day? If he had had a run about and no nap and not much to eat then my DS would have been terrible at this age.
  2. My DS used to be really aggressive with me at this age if we left him for a weekend with my parents (they were the only people we would ever leave him with). I saw it that he was punishing me for going away. He was generally really good for my parents but then was awful as soon as I picked him up. It was his way of saying, "Oi, where have you been, I have been so worried!" At that age they can't understand that one night is one night ... it seems for ever for them ... and so the relief of seeing you again sends them into a spin. Re. the comments by your dad ... I don't think he knows enough about it to say that tbh ... your little boy sounds delightful and if you think there is no real cause for concern in terms of his behaviour then there probably isn't. Is he always aggressive with you? No, you said he has minor (and sounds to me like normal) tantrums and then wants cuddles. His behaviour this weekend was obviously out of character and so I would try to let your dad's comments go if you can. HTH
ghosty · 16/10/2005 09:01

Doh ... why am I such a slow typer ... that is the second time I have x-posted with the same ideas as other people!!!
Great minds think alike!
Re the talking ... some children are later at talking than others. If you are worried though, do take him to the HV and see what she says (if she is a good one that is!)

womba1 · 16/10/2005 09:12

Thank you all so much!! You just know what it's like when someone makes a comment and it begins to eat away at you. I think i just needed reasurrance and i knew i'd get it from you lovely people.
As for a hv Ghosty, i haven't currently got one as we moved areas recently... but when i next see my midwife, maybe i'll mention it to her.
Thank you again... and i'm just off to get a snotty kiss and cuddle xx (from my ds i hasten to add!!)

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HausOfHorrors · 16/10/2005 09:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

womba1 · 16/10/2005 09:20

bobbybob... i don't think any one thing is worrying me more than another... but i guess i do feel he should be saying more than he is. But on the other hand, so many people say that he'll talk when he's ready, and that he's always chattering and makes himself understood.
I think that if anyone other than my dad had said anything,i wouldn't have been so upset this morning... men huh???

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bakabat · 16/10/2005 09:52

If he's pointing to share things with you and let you know what he wants, you don't need to worry about speech yet.

colditz · 16/10/2005 09:54

Another reassurer here... My 2.5 yo son is exactly the same. Charming unless tired, hungry, or there is a change in routine.

womba1 · 16/10/2005 10:02

Thank you again colditz and bakabat... x

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suzywong · 16/10/2005 10:03

yes you are being hormonal and supersenstive, however your father's comment was anachronistic and hurtful.

Your dh is right and your sil and bro didn't seem worried about him did they?

FWIW my ds1, at the time only just 4, whacked my mother very hard when she tried to intervene in a fight between him and his little brother, she was visiting from the UK and my ds doesn't really know her.My mum went completely OTT and in her usual snidey needling way told us that we ought to "skin him".

Don't worry about it, old people sometimes go into flashback mode and still think it's the 1940s when they get surprised by their darling grandchildren's very normal behaviour

womba1 · 16/10/2005 10:21

Suzywong.. my dad has always had a habit of being very forthright with his opinions and then after seeing how upset he has made people, will always apologise and feel awful for ages. I love him to bits but i can't believe how upset he's made me, but i know alot of it is to do with my pregnancy hormones!
As for my brother and sil... they both dote on my ds and my sil's only concern is my ds's apparent lack of sense of danger. However, i was in the garden with my ds yesterday and he wanted to jump off a wall, but wouldn't do so until i was holding his hands. If that doesn't show a certain degree of sense, then what does?

And as for your mothers comments... how appalling!

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