Frightened nine year old

[SillyMummy3]

Just wanted to know opinions on my son. He is a lovely boy with no problems at school. However, at home he is scared to be by himself.
He wont go upstairs by himself, or be downstairs alone. He sleeps with the duvet covering him except his nose sticking out.
He washes his hands constantly and shouts at his brother and sister if they touch his toys without washing their hands.
He gets very upset if his siblings go downstairs and leave him on his own - this causes problems for me if I need to do something elsewhere in the house.
He will shout out if he thinks that I have left him upstairs even if I am in the next room.
I want him to feel safe in his home - I love him so much and it hurts me to see him scared. Anyway, I will stop waffling and await your replies.thanks.

I don't have any advice but wanted to bump this for you

Often children are worried about being alone upstairs,I know my ds..now 11 hates the thought od being upstairs or downstairs on his own

sounds as if he needs to be in control - ask if anything is worrying him? are his siblings older, leaving him feeling powerless?

i still wrap myself up in my duvet and feel scared in the dark, and i feel scared in some rooms in my mum's house where i grew up - so those things don't strike me as odd, but the handwashing does a bit.

FWIW, there was a thread about this a few years ago on Mumsnet: this is very common in children of this age: some of mine have done it, as have their friends. Both my boys fet this at 9-10'ish, my 10yr old daughter is currently in a wobbly stage. It seems IME to be related to those pre-pubescent changes that increase anxiety for a while: learning about death, hearing about disease, death or disaster on TV, realising that parents won't live for ever, and so on....

If you can, I would live with it for a while: and let him relax beacause you accept his needs for a while. With all my children, I have overcome the nighttime fear by letting them 'start off' in my bed and moving them later, when they are sleepy. Usually very successful. The one who used to follow me everywhere (I couldn't even go into the garden) we agreed that he could watch me from the window until I came in. It goes quicker if you tell them that they won't always feel wobbly, but while they do, you understand. The only other point is that I realised from friends chatting that a common trigger can be watching a video with others who don't appear to be scared, which means that your own more sensitive flower thinks that they should be bottling up their worry. The handwashing thing is a symptom of his anxiety, when those levels drop so will that symptom, so concentrate on getting him to relax as much as you can. HTH

Gosh, sounds so much like my eldest - he is 11. Especially when the nights are getting darker he doesn't like to be upstairs by himself. He shouts for his younger brother who is 6 and so not afraid of anything He also has a thing about 'germs' but I never related the two together.
I think my eldest is a sensitive bright boy who does tend to worry about things ie burglars, terrorism etc. I'm afraid I have no advice to give however apart from plenty of reassurance but I'm sure you do that already