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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

bedtime routine for 1 month old

12 replies

CherryandWhite · 16/02/2011 20:27

I know I am going to be told by many to 'just enjoy it' but at the minute my 2 week old (yes I know she is still v young) stays downstairs with us until we go to bed. She rarely settles without being cuddled to sleep (which at the moment we obviously don't mind doing) then we put her in her Moses basket. She has her feed around 10am ish then we go up to bed putting her in our room.

We have tried putting her in her own room at 'bed time' it worked once, but every other night she sleeps for about 10 mins then is wide awake. What I am trying to get advice on after all my waffle is, when do you think is the right time to start persevering and keeping her in her room instead of going for the easy option and bringing her downstairs?

For the record our ds is almost 5 and has always had a bedtime and goes to bed really well and always has done.

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nickytwotimes · 16/02/2011 20:29

i'd wait till she is 3 mths or so.

a lot of babies are a bit unsettled till then.

sobloodystupid · 16/02/2011 20:30

Honestly, I think it is too early for a routine. You are kidding yourself, I mean that in the nicest way possible. Do the bath and feeding thing, quiet warm room etc by all means but she'll figure it out (in a few years - nah just kidding!)

rubyslippers · 16/02/2011 20:33

I wouldn't even contemplate it until 3 - 4 months TBH

Babies NEED to be near you 24/7

My DD cluster fed so wouldn't settle until 9 pm from 2 weeks until she was 16/17 weeks old so we didnt do feed, bath etc until then

matana · 16/02/2011 20:40

Sorry, but... just enjoy it. My 12 week old DS is now fast asleep in his moses basket upstairs, DH is away for the night and i'd love nothing more than a cuddle with a little person hot water bottle in front of the TV!!

At 2 weeks old my DS was the same, we have always done the bathtime routine/ low lights/ final feed before bed but invariably used to bring him downstairs with us when he wouldn't settle. But i knew when he was ready to have a proper bedtime and we began persevering a bit more from about 6 weeks i think. Now he settles brilliantly and sleeps well. You can't cuddle a newborn too much IMO. She'll figure it out when her little internal clock is the right way around - at the moment her circadian rhythm is the opposite to yours.

Original poster

CherryandWhite · 16/02/2011 20:41

I think because I was so strict with ds and he. Settled so well tha5 I am worried I'm doing something wrong by dd. I also worry that I'm being 'soft' because she's our 2nd if that makes sense.

We have 'calm down time' with snuggles for half an hour before bed with both LOs, dd has a bottle about 5.30 and she gets sleepy around 6.30 ds goes to bed at 7pm. We did cc with ds which only took a couple of nights. I appreciate that this isn't everyone's cup of tea, but I plan on doing it again with dd (but not for a very long time yet!) I can't remember how old he was when we did it with him.

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Normantebbit · 16/02/2011 20:44

I think the big thing I realised when I had two was that these are different children and what worked for DD1 wouldn't necessarily work for DD2 (and definitely didn't work for DD3 )

That said, I started a bed time routine at 6 weeks with all three and it worked after a few weeks.

rubyslippers · 16/02/2011 20:47

You can't be soft with a baby

I was very hung up on getting my first into a routine which he did adapt to

With my second, we co-slept, fed to sleep etc etc and she did learn to settle on her own but not at 2 weeks old

matana · 16/02/2011 20:48

You're not being soft. A cuddle is the most natural thing in the world and cures all manner of ills in someone so young. Have faith in your DD and she'll get there. All babies are different and will achieve things in their own way and in their own time, with a little guidance from you when the time is right. Now is not the right time i think.

Original poster

CherryandWhite · 16/02/2011 20:50

Matana - you have just told me exactly what I wanted to hear :-) thank-you. I am thoroughly enjoying having her with me, don't get me wrong.

Having read my own posts again, I sound like I don't want her here with me and would rather her be away in her room. That is not the case at all. I guess after being so strict/lucky with ds settling so well so young, I worry that I'm being too relaxed with dd and am creating a rod for my own back for future months so to speak.

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Original poster

CherryandWhite · 16/02/2011 20:55

Thank you for your advice reassurance ladies. It's exactly what I wanted/expected to hear. I feel much better having read it in black & white. Will continue to enjoy my cuddles for another month or so before I stress about bedtime routines.

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Octaviapink · 17/02/2011 19:57

Both our dcs were downstairs with us in the evenings until about 3 months old - before then it was pointless trying to 'put them bed' - it was just stressful for them and for us! You will find that her evenings start to get earlier as she learns to differentiate between night and day.

PigeonPair · 17/02/2011 20:19

I started putting mine in their bedrooms at night at around 5 weeks. Bath at 6pm, feed and cuddles and then swaddled and in moses basket at 7pm. I agree it is nice to have them snuffling in their cribs while you watch tv/have dinner etc (oh god, feeling broody just thinking about it), but it's also nice to have some time to yourself. It also helps them to distinguish between night and day naps.

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