Please share your calm morning routines that work.... DS is 6 and went to school screaming and I started crying while talking to teacher

[Numberfour]

He is usually fine! Bright, content, involved, has friends etc etc.

I KNOW what my mistakes in the morning are: I do not have a set routine and I sometimes let him watch tv or play pc games and that really and truly f*cks things up.

But, I wondered if anyone could tell me what their routine is so that I can try them out.

Obviously there will be no tv and no pc games anymore - ridiculously obvious starting point but every now and then I think he can manage it. It is clear that he cannot!

Any ideas?

In what other ways does it go wrong? Slow dressing, fussy at breakfast...?

My tip is to get up before the kids to sort yourself out/make dinners/tidy up etc etc.

My dd is 6 and sometimes we still have stressful mornings when I get up late (or can't quite be bothered!) but that's normally because the twins have had me up in the night!

I find that if I am dressed and everything is done before the kids are up it is so much easier.

Although I do use the tv sometimes...

I get up first, shower and dress, dry hair and make-up etc (takes half an hour) I feel better prepared that I am ready

Wake the DC (Inc. baby) and make breakfast. Feed baby

Then tell them to get dressed, wash and do teeth

This is when they start to fart around and my patience is at a low ebb

But generally it's a routine that works and we're never late. I do bark a lot in the last 10 minutes though: re shoes and coats etc

TV not allowed. Too distracting

Allow enough time.

Say things like "in 10 minutes its time to get dressed", "breakfast will be on the table in 5 minutes".

Chat to him about things that interest him while he is getting dressed or doing things he doesn't really want to do, so that he doesn't have the headspace to protest.

I don't mind my kids having 15 minutes of tv but I avoid trying to get them to actually do anything until whatever programme they are watching is over.

actually tell us what normally happens...

Will be back in a bit. I am childminding and I have a little one here just for a few hours.

No TV, no PC.

Make a list of everything that ds needs to do. Put it on a chart and laminate it. Put him in charge of making sure he gets ready.

Example:

7.30 Get school uniform on
7.45 Get book bags/coat and shoes out ready to go
7.50 Eat breakfast
8.10 Brush teeth and go to loo
8.15 Practice spellings/reading
8.25 Shoes and coat on
8.30 Out of the house

Give it to ds. He has to tick everything off on the list as he does it. If he does everything, he gets a sticker. 5 stickers in a week mean that he gets a treat. If he have done everything extra fast, perhaps an extra treat.

Make it fun for him to get ready.

Have to run but quickly

Up at 7ish
Washed, dressed and downstairs by 7.30
Breakfast till 8 (or when Moira Stewart has finished reading the news!)
Upstairs to do teeth then down to brush DD's hair.
TV only goes on at that point if there has been no messing about/squabbling/etc. Also only allowed to watch programme that finishes at 8.30am (mean mummy here!)
Shoes, coats, etc and out the door by 8.35 for walk to school.
School starts at 8.45am

Took a while to work it all out but DD is now in Yr 3, DS in Reception. Most mornings it works well and leaves us relatively calm.

HTH

What worked for me was a combo of the things on here.

The night before matters. Get bags packed and uniform etc ready and make sure dcs knowwhere everything is..the best laid plans can be fucked up by 'i can't find my shoes'

Then in the morning develop a routine that suits you and your child. Ours starts with a big cuddle and a chat in my bed which sets the tone for the morning. I set the alarms early and get up first and get myself a cup of coffee before waking the children and bringing them into my bed.

The final tip - which works beautifully - is that if they are ready with gags and coat by the door hen they can have tv or computer for the cast 15 mins before we leave.

I realised the shit morn gs were entirely my fault . If I was trying to pack lunches, find shoes, chose what to wear myself etc then I created an atmosphere of rush and chaos.
We get ready chatting and laughing and with time to cope if something crops up. And I don't shout at the children because I don't feel frustrated and guilty for the shitty start to the day anymore.

That is worth 100times more than the extra half an hour I used to spend in bed in the morning.

Have you tried a sticker chart?

I have 6 year old twin boys plus a teenager. I get up about 6.50 and make myself a cuppa. DTs may or may not be up. If one or both of them are up, the TV will be on.
Then about half 7, when DS 1 goes off to school I make DS2 & 3 their brekkie, which they eat in front of the TV and bad mother emoticon.

Once that's done they get dressed, teeth, wash in whatever order they fancy. If time can watch a little more TV before school or go and play.

Out the boor for 8.25.

Lately i've noticed they've been playing up a bit - not brushing teeth properly, fighting, moaning about getting dressed etc. So i've introduced a sticker chart and funnily enough they are being pretty angelic in the mornings.

Oh and once they are dressed, it's shoes on and bags ready before any playing or tv.

All I do in the morning is make breakfasts and get myself washed and dressed, oh and check clean faces/teeth etc. If i'm trying to do lunches, fill in forms, find money for trips etc it makes it muchmore stressful. So lunches are usually done the night before.

I have to get us all out by 7.30 for nursery/breakfast club.

Boys get up between 6.30-7am and go straight down to the telly. I get up 6.30, and get myself sorted.

Everyone back upstairs by 7.15 to get washed and dressed, then coats/shoes/bags (leave ready night before).

They never moan about telly going off, because it's the same every day, and they know that, if they kick up a fuss, I just won't let them have it next day. Only had to do that once :)

Its hard to break old habits but if you choose one of the excellent routines people have suggested on here - and stick to it even if it gets worse before it gets better,... you will be fine.

Get organised the night before ... only thing that works for us. Bags, clothes, breakfast - plates & cereals out on table...shoes and coats ready by door. I let them watch the tv while eating brekky, then it goes off. That's our rule and if they abuse it, the tv doesn't go on for a week - seems to work

In this house we have television or ds before school. But he only needs 30mins to put clothes on and eat breakfast. Any fuss and he doesnt get them the next day. Simple. Everything gets turned off at 8am, unless he has chosen to get dressed and eat breakfast before then. We also have the rule that he can go to school on his scooter if I don't have to shout or ask him to do stuff more then 3 times. However, not if he misbehaved on it the day before (seperate issue really).

However, I find the last week before term no matter what has worked previously it all disappears in a chaos of tears and tiredness and ends up with me shouting.

Could it be partly nearly the holidays tiredness this morning?

I get up half hour before dd, have coffee, 10 mins sit down, get washed dressed, wake dd up litteraly with enough time for her to tako take 15 mins to actually get out of bed, 15 mins to eat breakfast. 15 mins to get washed and dressed 5 mins spare to get out the door. no tv no games no toys. can read or draw after dressed etc if she has spare time, but i try for no spare time.

Slightly different for us, as DS (6) has SEN and a bus comes to collect him at 7.45am. But this is also the time I have to leave for work, so our routine is:

RULES:

1. Do everything hard the night before - lay out his clothes, lay out my clothes, make his packed lunch, pack his school bag etc.

2. No TV, computer games - EVER

My alarm goes of at 6.30am. I get up, shower, get dressed, do my hair and make-up. I am ready by 7am

Both kids get up gets up at 7am. Straight downstairs for breakfast. Breakfast needs to be done by 7.20am at the very latest, so I start giving DS warnings five mins before ('Don't take too lomng, we have to go upstairs in a few minutes' etc). This is his chance to 'wake up' a bit.

7.20am he dresses himself upstairs while I get his little sister ready, then I over see him brushing his teeth and washing his face, and help do his hair. This bit can take a while, as he is slow at dressing.

7.35am Downstairs, shoes and coat on, double check got everything he needs. If he has time left before the bus comes / I have to go, he is allowed to read or play a game at the kitchen table for a few minutes.

He used to be hard to get going in the mornings, but the stricter I have made the routine, the better he is. He wakes up more quickly, is in a better mood and knows exactly what is going to happen when.

Very similar to everyone else....get as much ready the night before as poss, get up earlier and get yourself ready first, get dressed upstairs (not in front of tv), breakfast, then, and only then..can have tv on for 20 mins before school.

And lots of praise when it all goes well!!!

Pag - can you tell me more about the gags by the door please Feel this could improve my mornigns immeasurably

And regarding routines - I find it works best if DS1 who is also 6 washes, cleans teeth and gets in uniform before coming down for breakfast.

We also get up 1.5 hours before we leave the house - have very early-rising children.

And yes to bags ready the night before.

Pagwatch - I like the idea of gags ready by the door.

The danger area for me is them finishing breakfast and getting dressed (I'm amazed at how many let DCs eat breakfast with uniform on, mine would be wearing two sets every day!

My rule is that the TV doesn't go on unless both are in the uniform, with coats and shoes on. And it then goes off 10 minutes before we have to leave for the last minute faffing around.

Also say that I work from home so don't get showered or have my breakfast till I get back.

Thanks, everyone.

Looking at all the above, I think that it would be best for us if I got completely ready first, and that there was no tv or games until DS was dressed and breakfasted.

I also have childminded children (sometimes one, sometimes two) arriving by 8, so he needs to be ready by then. It will mean him getting up a bit earlier and going to bed a bit earlier - not lots, just 15 min or so.

I think it may also be a case of tiredness at the end of the term because I have had some very uncharacteristic tantrums from him lately.

Thanks so much for all the replies!

I have to get two of them and myself ready and out the door for 7:30, and it can be tough!

I agree that getting up early enough that I can get myself and breakfast organised before they are up really helps. I make sure all the school bags, etc. get ready and waiting by the door the night before, all homework done night before.

I do allow tv in the morning and find this actually helps for them in the routine, because it works a bit like a clock. They are allowed to eat breakfast while watching to have a bit of wake up time, but they know when a certain programme finishes, it is time to start to get dressed.

I have 2 and we have a pretty firm routine in the morning.

I get up before them and get myself ready and lunchboxes done.
7am wake ds's
7.15 breakfast
7.40 upstairs to dress and I do my teeth and make up.
8.00 ds's do teeth
then they can play
8.20 coats, shoes, leave for school

I really am very rigid about timings I cannot bear to be late for anything!

We need to be out the door by 7.40 at the latest.
My top tip is to not let the children back upstairs for anything.
PE kit, swimming stuff, snacks, waterbottles, packed lunches etc done the night before ( and fridged obv)
I get up at 6.30, put the lights on so the kids start to wake up.
They know when they hear the shower pump that it is nearly time to get up.
When I am out of the shower I give them a "get dressed in 5 mins" call.
They pick up their clothes from the landing and get dressed in their room listening to CD's.
I get dressed and go downstairs to make breakfast.
They know they need to be eating breakfast by 7.20 so I call them down with a few minutes to spare.
Eat, clear table, load dishwasher, shoes on. If their bags are ready I put them in the car whilst they have a couple of minutes downtime, and we are out the door.
Phew.