coffee morning here tomo, toddler finds it overwhelming ....

[maryo2]

I wondered if anyone else had experience of this. It is my turn to host the coffee morning tomorrow. My dd (3 in April) finds it very overwhelming. The house is full and other kids all rampaging through her toys. I completely understand how she feels and want to make it easier for her. I also have the slight issue of wanting to be a good host/make drinks for everyone - and at the same time be there to reassure dd. Also have a ds - he is 10 months, sits in the middle and takes it all in his stride.
Dd tends to withdraw to the stairs or her chair in the kitchen but also moans and whines and cries and demands lots of food - last time it was all a real nightmare. She doesn't know the other children very well either....
What can I do to make it easier for her?
Thanks everyone
Mary

My DS2 used to be like this, he's still not keen to have friends over but is ok at other peoples' houses! I would try to explain to her that people are coming over for the morning (but they will be going away again!! ). If she has any special toys that she doesn't like others touching, maybe you can put them away somewhere safe so she knows the other children won't be tempted to play with them. That might sound a bit mean but may save you a few tantrums! For the sake of your sanity, have lots of treats that she likes on hand to pacify her too. Hope it goes well x

Could you try and involve her in the preparations- put some special toys away to keep them safe, put some nice things out " for sharing", get her to choose biccies for her friends and hand them out- on a plastic plate! Chat a lot about what will happen and how lovely it will be, give her a big hug and get anyone to put the kettle on- most people love to be helpful!

oh thank you both of you these are all good ideas, i will employ them all! thanks for your fast replies!

Explain what is going to happen and hide her most precious toys together.
Find someone who is coming who is a friend and who has a fairly easy child and ask them to help you host, eg answering the door, serving drinks. People will be v happy to be asked.
Acknowledge DDs feelings. It will be overwhelming and difficult for her. It's a lot to ask. Distraction in the form of a small new present eg a magazine, presented when the doorbell first goes, can be helpful in this household. DD is so busy playing with her new stickers that I get-oh- fifteen minutes respite. Then it is a matter of refereeing and plugging with chocolate biscuits.

thanks domesticslattern - even more practical steps - will def try the special present for her....

I find definitely that talking to DS beforehand, explaining what is going to happen "Our friends X and X and X and X are going to come to see us, isn't that great? X and Y are coming especially to play with you. And we're going to have some special biscuits."

then a bit later in the day when she's had time to digest this "You remember I said that XYZ were coming tomorrow? Are you going to share your toys with them and play together nicely? Shall we go through and see if there are any special toys that you don't want anybody to play with - and you can share the other ones."

etc etc. Also offer her a get out, e.g. "If it's a bit too noisy you can go and play in your bedroom if you want to."

more great advice! thanks BertieBotts

Talkingnonsense talks sense! Also, perhaps getting her to make some biscuits/fairy cakes beforehand?

my dd1 found large groups very difficult at that age and t some extent still does. She is now 4.

I came to the conclusion that it was actually not doing her confidence any good and that neither of us was enjoying it. So we decided to have friends round individually or in smaller numbers.

It worked really well and she blossomed and developed stronger friendships. We sometimes mix in bigger groups but actually I think both she and I both prefer small groups.

Sorry my post is not at all helpful to your situation tomorrow.
Hope i goes well Good suggestions from others!

Ooh thanks schmee!