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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Do most 6 yo DD become fussy and behave spoilt?

11 replies

cmadhvani · 15/02/2011 13:57

My DD has always been a lovely, sweet natured, good girl.
However, over the past month she regularly moans about the smallest of things... it can be food (which she used to like) or clothes (which she used to wear). Complaining and moaning and making a massive fuss on what seems to me to be a very minor problem (for example, the honey wasn't sweet enough and her vest on the radiator wasn't hot enough!).
I have told her to get on with it (eat it, wear it) etc and she melts down into huge tears, starts making angry faces and being really pretty rude (even called me a stupid cow, which is a first) and it has made me very stressed out with her. Which is a place I really don't want to be.
I thought it was maybe tiredness, then she had a cold, but now I have realised she is becoming more and more like it.
Is it a phase? Do they grow out of it? Shall I keep to my boundaries + limit her 'rewards' + keep my fingers crossed?
Any experienced mum's who have noticed their six y o change at this time, in this way, advise please...

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Davsmum · 15/02/2011 14:02

Don't let her stress you out - If she gets upset when you stick to your guns or don't pander to her, it won't kill her.
She will grow out of it if you don't give in to her or give her attention because of it.

Perhaps something has changed in your/her life which is worrying her ? If there i snothing obvious that could have caused this change I would just not let her profit from her behaviour. And DON't let her get away with calling you a 'stupid cow' !

bumblingbovine · 15/02/2011 14:03

I haven't had this happen but children often tell you something is wrong by their behaviour. If she is not normally like this and it has only started recently then maybe something has happened to make her unhappy. Before going down the punishment route I would try and see if you can work out if something is bothering her.

My advice would be to make some 1:1 time with her for the nes=xt few days, as much as you can and just play, be with her for a while. If you do this and pay close attention, something may become clear. She may be having a problem at school, she may want to spend more time with you, she may be feelng ill.

Looking at what you have described the really naughty behaviour is only coming as a result of you ignoring her initial "complaint". Next time she complains about something try sympathising and saying something like " wow you really sound unhappy, do you need a cuddle?" and see where that takes you.

GooseyLoosey · 15/02/2011 14:04

dd (also 6) can be a bit like this at times. I have realised lately that the more I let her behaviour strss me, the worse it becomes. If I just plaster on a smile and when she complains respond with "oh dear, that's a shame" (with as much sincerity as I can muster) but without taking any action, I find things get much better and she stops.

Bonsoir · 15/02/2011 14:05

It sounds as if your DD is growing up and developing a mind of her own. That's OK!

bumblingbovine · 15/02/2011 14:05

I do agree though that once the behaviour has escalated to calling you names, she needs a consequence and shouldn't be allowed to get away with it.

It may be possible to intervene before she gets to this point though by seeing her recent "complaints" as a request for help rather than spoilt whining.

Memoo · 15/02/2011 14:08

My dd who is now 12 went through phases of this.

At about 6 or 7 children experience an increase in hormonal activity and so that's why its really common for children of that age to go through phases like this.

bumblingbovine · 15/02/2011 14:09

Does nobody else thing that a 6 year old child who isn't normally like this starting to make complaints like "the radiator isn't hot enough" or the "honey isn't sweet enough" needs some attention for a while.

If you really can't work out what the problem is and the behaviour continues then maybe that is the time for a hard line but surely it is worth trying to find out the cause first.

Memoo · 15/02/2011 14:09

And you sound like you are handling it well.

Original poster

cmadhvani · 15/02/2011 14:17

Wow, within 10 mins a variety of useful insights. Thanks to all, I feel happier about her arrival from school now... sit with a hot choc and discuss how to move forward together :0)

OP posts:

jaffacake79 · 15/02/2011 14:31

Talk to her. She's old enough to explain how she's feeling and understand that some modes of behaviour are unacceptable. :)

Othersideofthechannel · 15/02/2011 21:49

Maybe you could empathise a bit more rather than telling her to 'get on with it'. I agree with bumblingbovine, if she is bursting into tears, it is not a 'minor' matter for her.

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