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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2.5 year old DD abusing the dog!

22 replies

Trinaluce · 15/02/2011 11:21

Hi all!
Anyone got any suggestions on how to get the DD to stop attacking the dog? She grabs hold of handfuls of skin on his back and tries to pull him around by it. Thankfully he's a tolerant little idiot and only sits there wimpering, but I'm sure that won't last and he will eventually bite her. I've tried everything I can think of: ignoring her, naughty stepping, gentle explaining that she's hurting him, shouting, screaming, leaving him to see if he will bite her (!) and even smacking her (to my shame) - and she still goes straight back and does it again minutes later.

Any ideas?

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kreecherlivesupstairs · 15/02/2011 11:30

I think you have to be really firm. Dogs are great animals, but even they have a breaking point.
Is there a possibility of rehoming it?
I wouldn't recommend allowing the dog to bit her, but it would teach her a lesson.

GooseyLoosey · 15/02/2011 11:32

Re-home the dog.

dd had plastic surgery earlier this year when bitten my a dog that was supposedly a lovely tolerant dog (and she wasn't doing anything).

Children and dogs don't mix too well IME so if you have any doubts at all, don't take the chance.

Original poster

Trinaluce · 15/02/2011 11:36

She pinches me too, should I just rehome her?

OP posts:

Davsmum · 15/02/2011 11:40

Keep her and the dog separate.She is too young to be given free reign with the dog. We never let our dog near our grandson ( who lived with us) unless we were there - and if we were there we supervised them both and didn't allow him to annoy the dog or vice versa.

hmc · 15/02/2011 11:44

I think rehoming the dog is a bit extreme!

But you need to put more effort into this - keep them apart, and if your dd does something like this again immediately remove her and place her on the naughty step (or whatever basic disclipinary technique you use for showing your dd that certain behaviours cannot continue).

Tell her off much more firmly and consistently.

Original poster

Trinaluce · 15/02/2011 11:44

I don't ALLOW her to annoy the dog, she just does. As for keeping them seperate - HOW? She knows how to open doors!

OP posts:

BarbarianMum · 15/02/2011 11:46

Well the first thing you need to do IME is be very consistent, rather than trying a variety of different things. So if she hassles the dog, she gets 2 min on the naughty step and a then a stern clear explanation of why. Whilst she is on the step put the dog somewhere safe (ie different room) so she cannot immediately have a second go. Do this each and every time.

Secondly get the dog somewhere safe to retreat to - one of those dog crates, for instance - and make it the rule that your dd may absolutely not interact with the dog when it is in there - not even nicely. That is then the dog's space when it has had enough (the crates are good cause then you can shut the dog up safely if you need to go upstairs, for instance).

It would also be worth showing her the right way to stroke etc (gentle hands) but tbh it sounds more likely that she has focused on this to do this cause it gets attention and winds you up. It will pass but it needs sorting before she gets hurt (dog may never do anything, or just nip her, but could also take half her face off and you don't know which it will be)>

BarbarianMum · 15/02/2011 11:47

or whatever, as long it doesn't reward her with attention and keeps the dog safe.

hmc · 15/02/2011 11:48

It isn't difficult. Can the dog go outside to a kennel?

Both my dc's were spirited and difficult to manage at 2.5 but stopping ds (he was 2 when we first got dogs) from bothering the dogs and putting himself at risk was simple with a bit of persistence on my part (namely 'No' and removing him to the naughty step)

Onlyaphase · 15/02/2011 11:59

My DD was like this, always sitting on or playing with our two labs. It got to the point where I felt really sorry for them.

I totally agree with BarbarianMums post. What we found to be successful was consistently saying "No" when DD was playing with the dogs, and then immediately sitting with her and the dogs and telling her how to stroke them nicely. Two minutes of this stroking and patting nicely, then immediately off to do something else, stickers or colouring or anything else, to get DD away from the dogs.

Also, this is just a phase, and won't last that long. The trick is to put some effort into breaking the habit now, so it stops being a concern, and then before you know it there will be something else to worry about!

osd · 15/02/2011 12:00

My son 2 years 3 months, mistreats the cats but not my mums dog, he is also fascinated with batteries and how things work. One day he was wanting me to fix his train and asked me to put batteries inside, i asked him what else took batteries he listed lots of things and then said cat; I said that no the cat didn't need batteries but what about grannies dog he was sure the dog and his uncle didn't need batteries. So since then I have taken great effort to involve him with the cats explaining their emotions, letting him brush and feed them, taking him to see what our local vet does and taking him to a cattery to see all the cats on holiday. Don't know if it would work with a dog but it worked with my son and he now respects the cats greatly.

Nanny0gg · 15/02/2011 12:36

Can't you use a stair gate across doorways to keep the dog apart?
There is no way that your toddler will learn until she is bitten - and that's a little drastic.
Otherwise a kennel outside unless you can give full attention to what's going on.

Ladylay · 15/02/2011 13:06

DD 2.7 has begun pulling our dogs hair and I had VERY sterm words with her about it just this morning. I showed her his long sharp teeth and explained what would happen if she hurt him. She'll probably do it again tho' as she seems to do these things without thnking, as toddlers do.

We use stairgates to allow us to spend uninterrupted playing time on the floor with DD. Otherwise our dog becomes a plaything or tries to join in and steps all over whatever we're doing! Its a great device to give everyone their own space but in evenings after DDs bedtime he can come and have adult time with us watching telly.

Davsmum · 15/02/2011 13:51

Trinaluce Tue 15-Feb-11 11:44:57

I don't ALLOW her to annoy the dog, she just does. As for keeping them seperate - HOW? She knows how to open doors!

--------
Stop her when she is opening doors ?? I presume you keep an eye on her ?
We trained our dog to stay in the back of the house and we made sure our grandson did not go out of a room without us being aware of it. It had nothing to do with him annoying the dog though - it was because its never a good idea to leave a toddler witha dog - even if its your own dog.

Original poster

Trinaluce · 15/02/2011 20:35

I never leave her alone with dogs, but she's brazen enough to attack him right in front of us! I do keep an eye on her, but it's madness to suggest I'm always close enough to her to stop her doing everything. It's also not fair on the dogs to keep them crated up or shut in the hallway all day -sigh-

Showing her his sharp teeth isn't a bad idea though Ladylay, I might give that one a try - although I know that means she'll spend all her time lifting his lips up to get another look at them, the curious little ratbag

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HopeForTheBest · 15/02/2011 20:49

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Original poster

Trinaluce · 15/02/2011 21:00

Thank you! I couldn't believe people had suggested it either! We've had the dogs longer than we've had DD after all!

Nice thought about dog thinking he was being punished, something that hadn't occurred to me

I encourage her to play with them, she adores both of them (and they love the fact that DD=FOOD) - she just gets frustrated when the Jack Russell fetches the kong she's just thrown, as she seems to think it's her toy.... She spent an hour in the garden the other day just running back and forth (and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth ad nasueum) laughing her arse off because the two of them were chasing her!

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HopeForTheBest · 15/02/2011 21:35

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This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

Original poster

Trinaluce · 15/02/2011 22:11

Absolutely! My two - much as I have threatened to have certain bits sewn back on JUST so I can cut them off again - are very loved and rehoming is NOT an option. Besides, Jack Russell is a cantankerous old git and no-one would have him

Oddly she leaves him alone, it's the miniature pinscher she torments. If he's in his basket (curled up in his blanket usually) she'll go and sit in with him and hug him, look at his teeth, pull his ears.... I think it's because he'll sit still and let her. The JRT's never been the cuddly sort, so as soon as she puts her arms around his neck he legs it!

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Ladylay · 16/02/2011 10:44

That sounds exactly like our house Trinaluce. This morning the dog was festooned in toilet roll and having cuddly toys heaped at his feet with a very longsuffering expression on his face . They are so cute together but she just gets over-affectionate after a while and the dog wants his space.

Good tip about encouraging appropriate play. Am very glad DD (2.5)loves throwing toys for him now as it means I dont have to sit for hours doing it . But sometimes its necessary to allow him to escape too poor thing.

Know exactly what you mean about off hand get rid comments. Our dog was the first and planned baby in the house too!! Trouble is he'll stay at a mental age of 14 months whereas she wont (hopefully)!

Original poster

Trinaluce · 16/02/2011 11:39

I caught her trying to put her hair clips on the JRT the other day. He was just sat there with his ears back looking at me as if to 'Help me!'

OP posts:

HopeForTheBest · 16/02/2011 13:29

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

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