2.5 yr old DD being disruptive at nursery school

[Interfan]

Hi everybody,
I would be very grateful for any advice.
My 2.5 yr old DD has recently started going to nursery school for three days a week from 9-11am.
She is bright and articulate and is very active. We have no major issues with her behaviour at home, just the odd tantrum now and then if she doesn't get what she wants.
Today, when I went to fetch her I was informed that she had been very disruptive. They said that they had given her a stern talking too more than once but all she did was laugh in their faces.
I am at a loss why this is happening, and I am dreading taking her back there tomorrow. They asked me is she eats a lot of chocolate, and I said that she does get some occasionally but not often.
Thanks for listening.

Oh dear - not a very professional attitude being shown by the nursery. How very negative of them!

Do you have more details? If it was my DC I'd have chat with DD and try to ascertain if there is anything making her unhappy - is she bored, hungry, thirsty, are the children friendly and sharing etc? 'm not suggesting you bombard her with all those questions obviously but you know what I mean...

Then I'd go back tomorrow and request to speak to her key worker and ask some questions including -

Roughly how many times have they had a stern word with her?

HOw did the nursery deal with it exactly and what did they say to DD?

How did she react to their stern word?

What lead up to her behaving in this way?

Can they see a pattern emerging eg is it only during story time or when she's with a specific child?

When is she happiest?

What activites does she seem to enjoy most?

WHich bits of nursery does she seem to be less keen on?

How much outdoor play is getting on average each session?

Do you have any other strategies for encouraging good behaviour apart from
having a stern word and if so what are they and have those strategies been put in place?

Have a pleasant manner of course but DO NOT be fobbed off. They should be able to deal with this in a much more professional, positive and pro-active manner than they appear to be doing.

You politely hit them with some or all of those questions in a pleasant conversational way and I GUARANTEE they'll be pulling their socks up and trying to think of a better way of handling this behaviour! It points out that actually the onus is on them to be more positive - you're not there FGS. They need to reward her good behaviour and deal more professionally with her not so good behaviour IMO.

Re outdoor play - I'd say you want them to encourage her to have as much of this as possible if she's used to being active.

That post has made me so angry - can you tell?

Good luck

Thanks for your advice Misfitless - it is greatly appreciated.

I don't know exactly how many times they had a word with her - I was so shocked I didn't know what to say and so I forgot to ask.

She apparently had been taking all the toys out and will not sit still, she sits when it's snack time, but then is off again.

I do wonder if perhaps she gets bored there.

I know that they don't get any outdoor play because the council won't allow them to take the children outside because there is a nearby wall that is very unsafe and it hasn't been fixed yet.

I will have a word with them tommorrow.

Thanks again

Fgs she is 2.5 I work with 2 and 3 year olds and believe me most of them do not know how to sit still.

How shocking that she wants to take the toys out!! actually the children should be encouraged to access the toys themselves.

I think you need to kneep a close eye on this, you want her first experiences away from you to be fun and happy. Not made into a boring chore by stroppy grown ups.

The children I work with mostly learn to sit for snack and register but in their own time and certainly not when they first start.

Any particularly wriggly ones get a lap to sit on for the first few weeks until they are ready to sit for a short time.

You might need to shop around and find somewhere more child friendly.

You're welcome .
I second what Ineedalife says about shopping around. My DD has been to a nursey where the first thing they are expected to do when they get there is sit still (??) and listen to the group leader drone on for 10 minutes about her news. It made my blood boil!

Totally understand how you felt at the time -the same thing has happened to me and initilaly I was so shocked that I couldn't think what on earth to say.

There expectations are way too high - she should be moving around and they be should encouraging her to do so.

Please let us know how you get on with this if you don't mind

When has she started nursery? you say it is recent, are they not going to give her some time to adapt to her new surroundings? She is 2 1/2 of course she will want to take toys out and play more than staying still!

You might need to shop around and find somewhere more child friendly. I really agree with you but find it ironic that we are thinking "find a more child friendly place" when talking about nuresies!

I'd have thought "not sitting still" and "taking all the toys out" was part of the job description of a 2.5yr old!

The nursery staff sound like loons.

Why should she be sitting still? It's not some weirdy-method nursery is it?

Definitely let us know how this one pans out, but yes, I'd be looking elsewhere and having stern words myself.

I work with children of 2 and 3 years in a nursery and your dd sounds like a normal 2.5 year old to me.
The nursery sounds very old fashioned. Are the staff very old?
It is totally inappropriate to expect a child of your daughter's age to sit still.
I agree that you may need to look around a nd find somewhere better. Children need outside play, they also need to be cared for by people that have an understanding of child development and their needs.

The staff in this nursery clearly do not understand child development or positive behaviour management.

I would either keep her at home for another year or find a different nursery.