attention seeking/overexcited 4 year old

[fattybum]

ds1 has always been "spirited" and up until the last 6 months i've found him very difficult to deal with. At 4.8 he has calmed down a lot, and generally he will do as he is told, accept no as an answer, not hit me etc.

My problem now is often when we are around friends or family, he gets excited to a point he cant calm down, wont respond to me trying to calm him down and generally goes a bit mad. He also will do really annoying things like randomly do a loud scream when everyones trying to talk.

Last night we had my sis and bil for dinner and in the end i just dont want him around. He'd had plenty of attention all day as he'd been with my sis and bil since 11am. It doesnt help that ds2 whos 2.5 seems better able to calm down and act half decent. Is this typical behaviour and will he grow out of it?

sorry for the long post but, please, any experience of this?

Hiya, I can't offer advice I'm afraid but just wanted to say that my dd is exactly the same as this...she is 4.7. She also has a younger sibling who is 2.4 and is much better behaved and able to behave in company. My dd sounds similar to your ds and I find her behaviour very embarrassing around family...my dh says she's just 'showing off' but it is unbearable sometimes. She will jump onto people to try and cuddle them but with too much force. She will not allow us to have a conversation - constantly interrupting. We do tell her off for this and use naughty step or taking something away but still she does it. She'll start singing really loudly or shrieking etc etc. If my mum or MIL asks her a question, she won't answer properly. Frankly it is embarrassing and I tend to dread social events with her which is awful I know. My ds, in comparison, is like the model child.

Sorry that isn't any help to you...but you are not alone and I shall be watching with interest.

sounds exactly the same! Overall he's a good boy really, can still be tricky, but i don't think he has anything "wrong" with him. Its so annoying as at school or just with me and dh he can be great, just seems to lose all sense of reasonable behaviour. I also dread social situations. Luckily my family and dh's family are very understanding and love him regardless, i just feel he lets himself and us down. My mum also thinks he's just showing off as kids do, but ds2 doesn't do it!

When will this stage end!?

My DD is nearly 4 and a half and has been really trying lately. I'm sure a lot of it is due to having to deal with a 5 week old new brother, but I wonder if some of it is her age and her trying to push the boundaries again.

She has about 5 times as many tantrums as her 2 y/o little sister does and all the silliness and shouting is so irritating. Everything becomes a battle.

I'm trying to give her more positive attention and ignore the bad behaviour, but it's really hard and she knows exactly which buttons to push to make me crazy...

Yes they do sound the same! My dd is absolutely angelic at school apparently...and I can well believe it. She would hate to be told off by the teacher...was also like this at preschool. And generally with just us at home, she is ok...although she is pretty explosive when things aren't exactly how she wants them. She has always been like this and can whinge for Britain.

That's the other thing she does in company...she whinges and whines and is generally unpleasant to be around (sounds really awful I know...I love her to absolute bits but she is such hard work in social situations - she has ALWAYS been like this wheras my ds has always been a piece of cake by comparison). I would LOVE this to be a 'phase' but if it is, it is a blo*dy long one!!!

Good luck...not so good for you...but pleased I'm not the only one! x

Ds1 can be pretty explosive also, but I do think he is generally more reasonable without other people around. I don't think he means to be a pain in the arse in company, but that's what he ends up being.

Although it has gone on a long time with ds1 too, I do think it's a phase, or I bloody hope so cos I can't imagine how I would cope if he was still acting like a moron in company when he's 7 or 8!

I think that the reason our older dc are more difficult is because they were there first and maybe were used to getting all the attention, so it's hard for them to get used to that not happening anymore, whereas subsequent dc are automatically used to not being the centre of the universe.

You're probably right fattybum...like your comment about how you will cope if he is still acting 'like a moron when he's 7 or 8'!! Will check in with you in 2.5 years time!!

My DD is 3.3, and she is exactly the same around family. She starts showing off and doing "rolie polies" on the rug, and will scream or shout, and generally just run around the house like a little terror.

She is fine around friends and people she doesnt meet often, but when she sees my nieces and brother and sil, she goes mad. It's so embarrassing - but I think she does it because she really loves them and just gets excited to see them.

I dont know if or when she will grow out of it...I guess I cant complain, as I will be complaining in about 10 years time when she is sulky and rude all the time instead of being happy...so just think of it as another stage in your son's beautiful long life!

My dd is 4.6 and her whining, whinging, screeching, baby talking (that one makes me especially ) interrupting and general attention seeking are beginning to drive me seriously bonkers. I'm worn out after spending all day with her. She WILL NOT let me and dh talk to each other, she either says "daddy! daddy! daddy" on a crescendo or just interrupts until I see red and either scream at her to stop or give up trying to make myself heard and walk away. Her behaviour is beginning to cause quite a few issues between me and dh because I'm so sick to death of never being able to speak or be heard and fed up that he doesn't prompt her.

I feel awful for shouting at her but my nerves are frazzled with it. And the baby talking and pretend lisping when we're in company embarrasses me and make me reluctant to take her out anywhere.

You're certainly not alone OP!

Yes, ds1 also doesn't always let me and dh speak. He was actually repeatedly trying to cover my mouth today as I was speaking. I chose to ignore him whilst removing his hand. When I had finished what I was saying I said "that was very rude ds1, you musn't cover somebodys mouth when they are trying to speak". He looked a bit guilty afterwards which was what I was hoping for. I do think you have to pull them up on stuff, not always with punishments, but explanations of why some behaviour is not on. Obviously doesn't work straight away, but i'm hoping the drip drip affect will eventually!

Agree fattybum...am hoping that by repeating myself 100 times a day about inappropriate behaviour etc etc, it will eventually sink in...it's got to surely?!

minx...my dd is exactly the same, including the baby talk and not allowing an adult conversation to take place...although when it's just the four of us at home (dd, ds, dh and me), she is SLIGHTLY (not much!) better IF I keep reminding her (adults are speaking, you need to be quiet, you will have your turn in a moment etc etc). It is exhausting.

Another mummy going nuts here too! I never thought the teenager years would start this young!

any thoughts on this, my 5 year old now does this. Jumping around in the park!!