I will try to summarise here but it's quite complex so please bear with!
DS is 8. He has some special needs - severe dyslexia, hypermobility...and difficulties with general sensory processing for example unless given concrete holdable reward such as a sticker or certificate, can't process that he has done well...simply cannot sit in silence for example in the car - desperate to have music on/background noise at all times.
Ever since toddlerhood he has found it very very hard to 'process' sleep; once off, he's usually fine and sleeps well; but has never ever been able to drop off quickly.
We have (really, really) tried EVERYTHING in terms of bedtime routines - no matter how good, nothing helps him to drop off. He doesn't drop off until between 9 and 10pm.
Over the years we've thought we've cracked it with just popping in on him to visit and reassure (he hates being left alone in bed).
However now we're back to one of us being in the room until he drops off.
So DH and I are having almost no time together. And only get every other evening 'off'.
It's feeling after all these years, just too much now. I consider myself quite an attachment parent and have wanted to respond kindly and with understanding and generosity to his difficulty with being alone to sleep but it does now feel quite unhealthy and exhausting; DH and I both work.
So (after all the waffle) what I am asking is, would it be a BAD THING for me to set DS up with a DVD in his room so that he can have 'company' and watch stuff; his need for background noise would be met! And no, the radio/CDs just haven't cut it, they don't help. I think a DVD may be more absorbing and more company.
All thoughts welcomed, if you've stayed with me thus far!