3.4 year old behaviour help

[doingourbest]

Hi i'm new to mumsnet and have signed up hoping you ladies can help me. My son who is 3yrs 4 months has always been very fiesty. I have today collected him from pre school to be told he has been a nightmare - I had asked how he had been. He is hitting a lot and saying things like 'i'm going to punch him in the head'!!! I feel i am probably labeled as the mum with the naughty boy which really upsets me!!! It's even more frustrating because he can be so loving and he is a very cuddly boy. I do the naughty step, take toys away and I have just introduced a rewards chart what else can I do. He has recently gained a sister who is now 4 months could it be his way of letting out his jelousy? he loves her and is brilliant with her. I have even started to avoid friends who have children of the same age as he just ends up being naughty and I end up telling him off all the time. Your advice/experiences would be greatly received.

It probably is related to gaining a sister. I would continue to be consistant with the dicipline and also the praise. Try to do a couple of things a week that he really enjoys and is very good at and make a huge fuss of him.
Lots of extra possitive praise to balance out the punishment.
No doubt its a phase that will run its course.

Hi

My son is the exact same age and has a 10 month old brother - mine is not at preschool or nursery yet but he also says things like that about children at stay and plays etc. "I'm going to HIT him", "He needs to go to prison", "i'm going to throw him down the stairs and kill him". He also was very positive and loving towards his brother at first (although now he can crawl he is much more inclined to give him a whack or a push)

He had a massive tantrum at a play drop in last week and I had to carry him out kicking and screaming. I was almost in tears as we are new to the area and I also thought everyone would be thinking "there's the naughty child" - whereas where we lived before people knew him when he was "nice"! But one of the mums sent me a lovely text saying her son had hit her that very morning and everyone I asked said all they were thinking was "thank goodness it's not our one - this time".

He bit a child at soft play last week and I was mortified - the very next day another child bit him. I guess what I am trying to say is don't avoid your friends as I bet their children act up too and if they don't they probably will soon.

Oh I forgot to say we tried naughty step and takign toys away, neither has really worked - currently am trying filling a glass jar with cotton wool balls - he gets one whenever he is good eg gets dressed without screaming "Getting dressed is AWFUL" - when it is full we go to the zoo. Don't know yet how it is going as he dropped the jar after one day and it smashed all over the floor....but he was very enthusiastic about it before then.