13 week old DS- sleep gone to pot...HELP!!

[SquashedPea]

Hi,
I'm really feeling at the end of my tether due to sleep deprivation for both me and DS. Having been on a reasonable night time routine up until 2 weeks ago, DS now wakes up at approx 11pm, 2am and then every 40 minutes or so after 4am. He's pretty good at going to bed at 7pm but usually takes about 45 minutes to drop off (mostly content but occasional crying). The only thing that will get him back off to sleep is to feed him (BF)but he just seems to suckle without feeding at the frequent wakings after 4am so i doubt he is hungry.
Prior to this he would wake up at approx 2am, 4am and then wake at 6-7am which was brilliant and entirely manageable.
So, my main concern is why won't he settle after 4am?? Even when I co-sleep after this time he still wakes up screaming the place down and is very difficult to settle

Additionally, he will not nap during the day at all unless in the car or he is on me after a feed. I think I may have started this by misreading his tired cues (hand chewing) for hungry cues so he ended up feeding too frequently and falling asleep on me. When I put him down for a nap when he's showing signs of being tired he will quickly go from gurgling away in his cot to screaming, going bright red and rigid. I feel like i've tried everything- pat shush, PUPD but they just seem to make him more infuriated. i have tried letting him cry for a few minutes but again, it just makes him worse.

I feel like i'm stuck in a vicious cycle with a chronically tired and cranky baby and an exhausted mum. I just don't know what i'm doing wrong.

Please, if anyone has been through anything similar (hopefully with a successful outcome!) I would be so grateful for any advice.

You are doing the 10.30pm feed just to get him through the night? I used the Gina ford routine and both times worked a treat. Perhaps even doubling up with formula works for many if baby is hungrey, perhaps he just isnt getting enough milk - and sound hungry to me, any chance you could express you check the amounts he's taking?. DS1 would take enormous amounts of formula and could take two bottles in one sitting.

A dummy, he want want suck for pleasure. We all say we arent going to do it but honestly its a life saver.

DS2 would fight the day time sleep. At 13 weeks he should be having a morning nap, lunch time and afternoon. Missing these does have a knock on effect. I kept to it even if he didnt drop off and the routine of going to cot, leaving the room may take a few days. You must keep to the routine even if not working. Avoid going out lunch time, get home from a good walk before 12pm, then put him down.

Are you using the same cot? swapping a cot/crib just confuses them. In cot, wrapped up in sleeping bag, total lights out.

I would avoid any bad habits now with falling asleep on lap etc and co-sleeping isnt for me. I beleive what my mum always said of not making a rod. Even babies can catch on that they can role and a total believer that you are the leader, it does make for a happy toddler.

But It sounds a though he is hungry.

my second ds was like this, it was a growth spurt i think and did even out. Im going to get shot down in flames by other mners but do you wrap him up when going for a nap?have u tried a wee comforter in the cot. just a teeny square with your smell on it. Id get into singing the same song when he's getting sleepy and establish a naptime routine of 10 mins or so. It might not work straight away but evebtually he will realise that its time to go to sleep.
I found that when i kept him to a wee routine, even if he didnt always sleep for the same amout of time, he eventually realised it was nap time.
With regard to nap time i always took ds into his room(dark) sang a wee song for five minutes then put him in his cot. Back away slowly
As for night times, hes prob just hungry and wanting more food at night time..i found these few weeks hellish but he should grow out of it..its about the same time as the "ive just had a baby"euphoria wears off and you and dp get really crabby with each other. Just try and sleep when you can..when he goes to sleep-you sleep!
i know its a pretty crap answer but i dont have much else..hth