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Original poster

Worried about my 3yr old DS - does this sound like normal behaviour??

47 replies

skidd · 10/02/2011 09:59

He started pre-school in January and hasn't settled in at all. Have been thinking about it and have got myself into a panic that he might have ASD or DD or something. Please tell me if these behaviours seem normal for a 3year old:

language has never been great but probably just within normal range - now seems to be getting worse - difficult to understand - although his teacher says she can understand him

potty trained 6 months ago - now wakes up every morning with a nappy filled with (really unhealthy looking) poo

doesn't interact with other children at all at school although seems to want to (I think). A girl in his class told me yesterday that they call him "ghost" because he never speaks and always has the same scary expression on his face Sad)

Is completely obsessed with Fireman Sam and 95% of what he says is related to Fireman Sam. If I ask how school was, he replies, "Sam put fire out with the big big hose" or something similar

Prefers to play alone than with others - apart from his big sister who he adores

Just seems quite unhappy a lot of the time Sad but then can be happy, affectionate and lovely company - never aggressive or mean

He also has a squint which is being monitored - not that I think this is particularly relevant but might explain some of his other behaviours??

He was a lovely happy baby and I couldn't believe how easy he was after a nightmare more challenging DD - would never have anticipated this

What do you think? Should I be worried? Thanks

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justabouthappy · 13/02/2011 20:15

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girliefriend · 13/02/2011 20:20

Hi sorry have just skim read thread but wanted to check if you have had his hearing checked? Some of what you describe could be hearing related.

CPtart · 13/02/2011 20:44

Sounds like my friend's sons behaviour, same age, diagnosed with global developmental delay but also not ruled out ASD. I would get professional assessment sooner rather than later.

Original poster
skidd · 14/02/2011 09:34

CPtart Sad well I didn't really need much spurring on but all the same you spurred me on...

Have made an appt with GP on Wednesday - double appointment and not taking DS so hopefully will have enough time to describe all his symptoms properly... might even take a list [geek], ooh or even an excel spreadsheet, colour-coded for severity of symptoms...

girlie - yes I've wondered about his hearing too... will ask, thanks

justabouthappy - I'm not good at it either - but when I am actually faced with the situation I feared I usually cope quite well as I have already imagined it a hundred times - my DH calls me pessimistic, I think it's an excellent coping strategy Wink

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justabouthappy · 14/02/2011 10:09

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Original poster
skidd · 14/02/2011 10:22

ShockShockShock at your GP (and Angry). Have made appt. with my favourite GP who is lovely and I'm sure he will take it very seriously. So when you say a paed appt - is that a paediatrician at a hospital - so a medical doctor? Sorry am very clueless about all this - I guess I would have assumed I'd see some kind of clinical psychologist?

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justabouthappy · 14/02/2011 10:38

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Original poster
skidd · 14/02/2011 12:36

OK thanks, feel armed with knowledge and confidence!

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waitingforgodot · 14/02/2011 12:49

Good for you! Definitely write everything down and take it with you. That way you will have all the information in front of you. Keep us posted

anonnyme · 14/02/2011 12:59

My Health visitor has recently referred my DD for hearing & developmental tests. You could maybe find out if yours could refer for you. Smile

BialystockandBloom · 14/02/2011 16:10

Just caught up with this thread again. Glad you're going ahead with a GP appointment. I don't think it matters too much if you take him or not tbh, but as others have said, make sure you list all your concerns.

It is so difficult - 3yos vary so much, but my own gut feeling is that if you have concerns at this age with language/communication it should be investigated. Don't worry at this stage about whether he'll get a 'label' or not - he is the same boy he always was. The important thing is that if you think he struggles with anything and would benefit from help with areas, you need to go ahead now and get the help he needs.

Might be worth looking at the sn section (don't be scared!), there is tons of info there if you search through threads.

Good luck - let us know what happens.

oddgirl · 14/02/2011 19:55

Good luck skidd and others have said, whatever the outcome, he is still your gorgeous, loving funny DS and nothing and no-one can take that away from you...for me my DS is a quirky, fabulous individual and the world is a far far brighter and more interesting place with him in it.
Keep posting and let us know how it goes.

CharlieBoo · 14/02/2011 20:08

Hi, I really wanted to answer your post...your poor little man, I just want to say he is still very very little.

My son struggled with playschool, I am a SAHM and he was thrust from a very safe, calm home environment into a busy, bustling, noisy playschool. It took him a while to settle.

At 3 my son walked everywhere with 2 red cars in his hand. The SAME red cars. If we lost one it had to be replaced with the SAME red car. I can laugh now but it drove me nuts. We watched the film Cars from morning till night with nothing else on. He was obsessed with cars the way your ds is with fireman Sam and in my experience that's normal.

At this age children are still learning to play with each other. Why don't you stay for a session at your ds' playschool? Observe him and the other children, see what happens, how they interact. You will probably see all of the younger children playing alongside each other, not necessarily WITH each other. At this age children know very much what they like and dislike. Its quite black and white. Maybe he needs help to get going and the staff are too busy with other things...if you stay you will get an idea what's going on.

He's still so little and sounds like he's a bit overwhelmed to me. He is used to his lovely big sis who adores him and knows how to play the things he likes. Other 3 year old boys will want to play what they like. They're all learning. Good luck, hope I haven't rambled and my post makes sense.

Original poster
skidd · 14/02/2011 22:17

Thanks everyone Smile - will definitely keep you posted.

charlieboo - thanks for your post. I hope it is just because he is little and overwhelmed but my suspicion is that it's more than that. I have stayed with him when he settled in and saw other children trying to interact with him and him turning away, or even pushing them away. But of course that was early days. I really like and trust his teacher so I think I will just ask her how he is. He seemed much happier today and told me a few things he did (usually refuses to talk about it) so hopefully things are improving.

My DH is actually struggling more than me atm as he didn't think anything was wrong until rcently whereas I have been mulling it over for months! But as you all say, he is still the gorgeous sweet boy he's always been, and all that is changing is that we're trying to get him some extra support

bialy - I have been lurking a bit in SN - might pluck up the courage to post soon!

I know I keep saying it but thank you for all your replies - it is helping so much to keep things in perspective

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Original poster
skidd · 17/02/2011 09:25

Hello -

Quick update for anyone still reading!

Went to GP yesterday with long list of concerns. He was VERY nice and sympathetic and is referring DS to a community paediatrician who will refer him on to a 'multidisciplinary team' if they think it's necessary. He has also been referred to a gastro-intestinal person for his bowel problems (which Dr thinks could be celiac disease - or much more scarily Crohn's disease - as results from sample showed no other causes.

DS has seemed loads better over the last few days (has even made friendly overtures to a boy in his class which is a first) so feel slightly foolish about paed referral now Blush but better to check.

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wzmo · 17/02/2011 12:13

has he ever had an eye test? maybe he is having a hard time seeing? a friend of mines kid was having very odd bowel movements and behaviour did TONS of test and in the end gave the no gluten no dairy and it has work like a charm. GOOD LUCK!

Original poster
skidd · 17/02/2011 12:26

hi wzmo - he has a squint and has regular check-ups - so-far no treatment

oh gosh no wheat and no dairy - what on earth would he eat???!

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BialystockandBloom · 17/02/2011 18:40

Glad you've taken this step, good for you. Don't feel foolish about getting the referral - if (and hopefully this will be the case) there is no cause for concern further down the line, there is absolutely nothing to be lost by having him assessed. No-one will think you foolish - just a responsible, attentive and good mother Smile

Btw several posters on the sn board use a gluten/dairy free diet - might be worth having a look at old threads on this. From what I've seen I don't think it's too much to worry about, there seem to be a wide range of 'normal' foods that now come gf/cf.

Original poster
skidd · 18/02/2011 08:29

thanks bialy Smile will have a look at the sn boards for advice on gluten-free

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wzmo · 19/02/2011 13:23

i know it seems hard but it is suprising how many products are gluten free now from pasta crackers tortilla.... i think food can be a big part of "things"
I will look up some of the brand names, might be worth a short term try? could be why his bowels are odd?

buzzybee · 28/02/2011 10:22

Hi Skidd, has your referral come through yet? Let me know if you'd like more info on GF/CF etc? I'm GF myself and its actually not that hard!

Original poster
skidd · 28/02/2011 11:04

Thanks buzzy - no referral hasn't come through yet

Very wierdly - that side of things seems to be much much better since visiting GP so holding off for now - thanks for the offer though and will let you know

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