DD won't let me leave her room!!!

[Tw1nkle]

Please help - any advice greatly appreciated - I'm exhausted!!

Every night my DD goes to bed no problem, but then won't let me leave her room! I have to stay in there until she falls asleep, then creep out, hoping she doesn't wake up! When she does wake up she screams and screams until I go back in, and again, I have to wait until she goes asleep again!

I would let her cry more, but my DH can't really handle the crying, as he starts work pretty early, and needs his sleep!

Give her something of yours to cuddle, and then just pop out for a bit while she snuggles down to sleep. Basically I would try a version of controlled crying, get her used to you not being in the room, but that you are still around and can come back.
Also do the same thing for daytime naps.

In the evening, get your DH to do some of the going back to settle trips (it may involve the two of you spending an evening or two lurking outside the door).

I am assuming your little one is months old?

Hiya,

My DD is 2.3, and very vocal!
She's always been the same, I was hoping she would grow out of it, but it's getting worse!

Hi Tw1nkle

My DS and DD were the same around that age. The thing I found was that if I went in and cuddled they both became even more upset so I resorted to just waiting in til they dozed off and went down stairs. If they woke up and screamed/cried, I used to just call up to them and they settled fairly quickly.

I think it was because they heard my voice and realised I hadn't abandoned them - that DH and I were just downstairs. They also settled even more when they could hear the TV.

Both are great sleepers, except for the early starts (5am onwards).

Hopefully this stage will pass.

Do you think a radio might help?

Story tapes have always helped mine. You can get In the Night Garden ones which are veyr calming

DS, 2.2 is the same. I've always taken my lead from him and he's recently started asking to sleep in his own bed next to mine (we co-slept before) so I think they do get to the point of being comfortable by themselves in their own time. Once he's happy there, the plan is to move the bed gradually until, hey presto!, he's happy in his own room. Could you try something similar with your DD?

She's comfortable in her own room, and has let me come out of the room on occasion, before she's fallen asleep, but this hasn't happened for a while!

Skimty - when do you turn the stories off? Do you just let it play until the end?

My DD wakes in the night - should I start the story again?

I've just put a radio/cd player in her room, just now, having read this - so I'm going to give it a go! Likely I have story CD's.

So any advice on the radio/cd would be great.

Sounds like she's only comfortable there while you are in the room though. So she falls asleep while you are there and is then upset when you're not in the night.

Could you try moving out gradually while she is still awake, being a bit further away each night, until she's happy for you to be out of sight?

Music or audio stories a great distraction tool, I agree.

ScroobiousPip - Yes, could definately try moving closer and closer to the door.

I'm going to try all this at her nap time at about midday - so fingers crossed!

Well, nap time didn't go to well - so I've tried again tonight - anmd so far so good!
She let me sit in the middle of the room, as opposed to on her bed, and I put the CD on, with 4 stories.
She didn't like to CD to start with, so I read a story over the top, as it was only on quietly anyway.
I sat for another few minutes after I had finished the story, then quietly left the room - she was asleep by this point though!
I'll do the same again tomorrow, but a little closer to the door, and see what happens!
If she wakes in the night, I'll start the CD again and sit for a few minutes.

I really hope this works!!!
Thanks everyone!

Tell her you're popping out to go to the toilet, and do so, and come back. Then sit down with a book for 5 mins?

then tell her to stay in bed,

but you've got to go and wash the dishes in the kitchen, do so for 3 minutes, then come back...

repeat. 5 mins in the room and 3 out.

She will fall asleep.

This 'gradual withdrawal' also works if you've got a new puppy!

It does help if you can hide the fact that you really want to get away - this behaviour is 'mummy control' and I think they're a bit less inclined to do it if they think you're not too bothered IYSWIM

Hiya,

She didn't wake in the night (hooray), so didn't have to try again in the night.

HystericalMe I have tried telling her I'm just popping 'somewhere' and I'll be back - it doesn't work - she screams the place down!

I'm going to sit even further away tonight (Her room isn't that big, so I'll be by the door now!), probably after I've read the story, I used to read a story to her every night when she was a baby, and I've missed it since I stopped, so I'm happy to start that again!

Same here. My dd is 3.9yo.

My DD was just like this till recently, but just now has started ASKING to get into her cot .

If she is tired and post-bath warm, doesn't mind getting in her cot and snuggling down and going to sleep without me having to sit there for hours like I used to have to.

If she wakes up in the night though, that's another story and we are back to square one (the sneaking out and hoping she drops off, or sitting there for hours