Insecure Toddler

[Babyblue2]

DD1 is 2.6 yrs with 6 month old sister. They get on well, however DD1 is now refusing to eat at the table, crying and screaming when food is put there, refusing to eat it. She was ill earlier this week but she's gone from being a food and juice monster to not wanting anything. For last 3 months she's wanted lots of cuddles and to be carried everywhere. I'm finding it hard because I give her a reasonable amount of attention, I praise her loads, we do things together and she gets lots of cuddles and is carried around. I'm patient with her but there are times when I have to refuse cuddles etc because I can't physically do it all day. Getting very worried about her. Any thoughts?

One of my friends mentioned that his first child didn't become jelous of his new sister until th baby started to move and do interesting things (therefore a lot of clapping from her parents, and a serious competition in terms of getting the attention from the parents), could your DD1 be going through something like this?

I think it's a phase and giving her lots of attention (as you are doing) is the best you can do.

Haven't got answers babyblue but thought I'd bump for you. See if the evening crew have some more ideas.

Babyblue I can remember my DD1 being really hard going when DD2 was aged about 4 - 10 months - lots of clingynessm tantrums, anxieties fears and terrible sleeping at night time and still wanting to be babied.I can remember feeling that whatever I did for her was never enough. I was advised by a councellor that this was probably due to fear of abandonment due to her little sister and partly went away on its own. Both DH and myself made an effort to have one on one time with DD1 which did help a bit. Cant say discpline worked all that well but for really difficlt sleep problem we had a "withdrawal or priviledges" system which she got completely and worked most of the time. I found the constant emotional support she needed exhausting though and by the time she came out of it I was a bit depressed because with 2 under 2.5 and working part time I was always overwhelmed. Let me know how you get on - best of luck...

Thanks for your comments. My 6 month old has started crawling, eating in high chair etc. so that could be something to do with it (I had mentioned to hubby that she had got worse since then). She's not throwing tantrums or anything like that which for me makes it harder because I can't justify losing patience/temper with someone who just wants cuddly attention and therefore go on serious guilt trip when I do. I've even tried coaxing her with jam sandwiches, chips, yoghurt but even that isn't making her eat. Whenever she does want something, she wants cereal.

HOw about setting a time to give sole attention to DD1? MAybe a regular time at the time the other DD is having a nap?

I agree with Chandra about the regular scheduled one on one time making a big difference - swimming now and then with DD1 makes a big difference