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Behaviour/development

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Cuddling Strangers

6 replies

liamsdaddy · 07/02/2011 11:59

My 22 mo DS likes to hug other children. Of late he has been more often aiming for the older age range, up to 10 yrs or so but he still hugs his own age range. It seems to be particularly girls, but I?m fairly sure that is because the old boys are generally running about and playing on their bikes, so he doesn?t get the opportunity.

Because he hasn?t quite learn how to approach things slowly yet, generally he does go in to the cuddle with some velocity ? he is 13.5 kg and fairly strong, so with a similarly aged child often this end in a pile on the ground or which a little bit of perceived shoving. Older children are much better as they don?t tend to fall over when he goes to them.

From parents I generally get a ?Aww? cute comment or a giggle at his antics. Occasionally the look that comes back is one of bemusement and once I?ve had the ?what is your child doing to mine? look. The younger children occasionally cuddle back, the 5 ? 7 children usually cuddle back, 12 year old girls seem to look in horror (no I don't want a 22 mo boyfriend).

I don?t want to totally inhibit this behaviour, as I?d rather have an affectionate boy over one that hits any day. However, at this age he can get away with it. I?m sure that there is a age where he won?t (not sure what that age would be).

Plus there is the inherent danger in cuddling strange people ? fortunately he never does it with adults. But that doesn't mean there is no risk.

So what are the best ways to manage this behaviour such that he stays safe but also learns appropriateness?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
adja · 07/02/2011 12:02

I think he sounds lovely :) and wouldnt be at all offended if he did it to my child. Although im sure he will grow out of it, hes only tiny still!!
I dont think you have anything to worry about, he sounds like a very happy little man who is just very pleased to see people!

sarinha2203 · 07/02/2011 23:19

My DD now 7 went through a stage of huging random people when she was about 2 or 3. She particularly liked hugging old men! I think she used to associate them with her grandad. She grew out of it though. It's nothing to worry about. Your little boy sounds lovely :)

milkyway2007 · 07/02/2011 23:26

My daughter's hugs for other children at that age usually turned into pushes or eye poking, so compared to that - I wouldnt be worried about your son! He will defnintely grow out of this by the time he's about 2.5-3.
If it's worrying you, you could always have a quiet word with him at home, and explain that hugging is only for mummy, daddy etc..but seriously I wouldnt bother - he's not hurting anyone (like my daughter did!!!)

notsweatingthesmallstuff · 07/02/2011 23:43

I am not criticising, but it saddens me that you think there is an inherent danger in a toddler cuddling someone in what I assume would be a public place with you looking on and supervising. The chances of anything inappropriate happening would be miniscule, and the chance of your son and the other person appreciating the show of affection are considerible.

Plonker · 07/02/2011 23:48

You want help to manage his behaviour? What is there to manage? Confused

He sounds utterly adorable!

kreecherlivesupstairs · 08/02/2011 07:58

My DD still hugs random people, she is 9.9.
When will she grow out of it Smile

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