My daughter has no one to play with

[adja]

Hello, this is my first time on here and I joined for advicver especially about this.
My daughter is almost 8, in her first year of junior school, she is doing quite well academically but comes home nearly everyday telling me she has nobody to play with at breaktimes.
I have discussed this with her teacher and she told me it had been mentioned to her too, and said she would try to intergrate her into groups of children herself. this seems to have come to nothing. Her teacher says she mixes fine during class time, but it breaks my heart to think of her sat by herslf in the playground.
We moved to a town from a small village with a much smaller school 18 months ago and it did take her a while to adjust to the change. We have had a few local girls round to play which has been successfull but she is still coming home telling me she is alone during morning break and after lunch. The more I think about it the more it upsets me, as I would really encourage my children to ask a child who is on there own to join in their game. Has anyone else had this with there child?

This must be really hard for you too.
It sounds like your little girl is quite shy and maybe is struggling to break into the social circles at school.
I don't have any advice about how to alter that per se, but is there any out of school activities she could do where she could make some new friends and maybe gain a bit more confidence in her own social skills which might help her at school?

This is the thing, she is not shy at all... Just lacking some kind of social skills I think, but I cant personally see where :(

That must be very upsetting for you. But its great that she feels she can talk to you about it.

Do you know the parents of any of the girls? Could you ask one of the mums to ask her daughter to try and include her at break times? Maybe you could encourage her to ask if she can join in with whatever the girls are doing?

I dont know anybody here, She has been invited to a birthday party which I am really pleased about although I cant help but think it is only because the child came to my daughters party last year.I am going to see this week through, ask her to ask someone home for tea again and if it still isnt any better by friday have another meeting with her teacher. I really dont want to have to move her to another school as she has already been uprooted once. Thank you both for replying to me

Are they allowed to take things into school for breaktimes? If she took in a skipping rope or elastics or something it may attract the other girls to play with her. Does the school not have a "friendship" bench or similar, can you talk to the teacher about perhaps setting one up?

It's not uncommon for kids to come home and say they had no one to play with. They generally DO have someone, it's just not particularly who they want at the time. If you sneakily watch at breaktime, I'm sure you'll see her with someone.

No, I really dont think she does. i did think that for a while but even the teacher has mentioned it. I think she just stays inside nost of the time now and potters round the classroom by herself. Trice, I will look into that one, I know at the adjoining infant school they had a "buddy base" But nothing I know of at juniors. it really is heartbreaking to think of your child unhappy. She is such a lovely bright little girl who just wants to fit in

Good idea to ask someone home again. It's good that she's going to the party.

Maybe the teacher would be able to have a word with one or two of the mums? Buddy bench sounds like a great idea too.

Agree that you don't want to move her. I'm sure it will improve even though it is upsetting now.

Probably also important to not let it show to her that you are at all anxious about it.

Is SHE unhappy? You mention your feelings about it but not hers. I went through a phase of wanting to play by myself at a new school. There was enough 'new people' in the classroom that I wanted a bit of space at lunchtime. I used to find it annoying when well meaning dinner ladies sent girls to make friends with me.

If possible do host a lot of playdates (at least once a week). This can make a huge difference for the better.

I have a similar problem with my 6yoDS, but a lot more difficult to solve, sadly.

Thank you everyone! yes she is unhappy about it, every morning before she sets off she does say "I do hope someone will play with me today mum" And i would never show im anxious about it, but at the same time I will let her know it is a concern of mine and I do care. Also, it is her birthday coming up and we are going to do something a bit special to involve a few of the girls in her class, I really hope that helps. Mloo I am sorry for you and your son too, It is so frustrating x

Oh bless her little heart. I was so hoping you would say she doesn't seem to mind! Does she like organised games? If so I'd ask the school to do group things like Whats The Time Mr Wolf, hopscotch, skipping etc. (I know schools are busy and stretched and everything but I'd still ask.) The sort of group games where anyone can join in without needing a partner or whatever.

Hope she has a nice birthday - take in plenty of sweets for the class!

Thankfully they do that one or two times a week! And she loves it, she doesnt even need to tell me what day it has been on I can just tell from her mood when she gets home :)
Thank you all so much, i will be using this again in the future. You are all so kind x