any tips for separation anxiety!

[Kity]

Hi all,
Just looking for some advice from anyone who's been through similar or just maybe has some tips on how to deal with this.

My son is 2.5 year old, not in the slightest bit clingy, goes to grandmas, auntys, playgroups etc and we've never had a problem.
However, I had the misfortune of going to the doctors last week for a dressing change following an op earlier in the month, unfortunately I collapsed in the doctors and was ambulanced to hospital. Was very poorly for quite a few days and ended up in hospital for over a week.
After much umming and ahhing at the time, we decided not to bring DS to hospital, as I thought it would be too distressing for him to see me (I was really jaundiced and out of it on pain killers) So when I was able I called him, and chatted to him on the phone. He was fine and settled and being very well cared for by dad and grandmas. He got upset a couple of times but was easily appeased.

Anyway, Im waffling now but I got home Friday morning and since then he has been so so clingy, he doesn't want me to go to the toilet, to go upstairs or do anything without him, just keeps saying "see mummy, want to see mummy" even when Im in the room! I went to the shop for 10 mins yesterday and he was hysterical when I got back.

Now I know this is all new and he will probably calm down, but I just wondered if anyone knew any strategies at all on how to deal with this? He has no concept of time obviously so its hard to say "mummy back soon" or "Ill only be 10minutes"

Am so worried we've scarred him for life!!!
Any help greatly appreciated
Thanks
Kirsty

I went through something similar when DD1 was 2 and I had a residential job which suddenly became very dangerous. She spent 2.5 with my parents although I did manage to get there to put her to bed every night.

She was just the same after it all ended and I was really worried. She got over it in a couple of weeks with lots of cuddles and reassurance.

I would just try to be there for him as much as possible and try not to be irritated about not being able to go to the loo alone. Give him loads of cuddles and let him start to release his grip in his own time. Try really hard not to push him away from you in an attempt to make him more independent. His confidence will be built on finding out that you want to be with him and won't make a habit of disappearing.

It sounds like you both deserve loads of snuggling under the duvet watching tv and reading books days.

I hope you feel better now.

Thanks so much, very good advice! and exactly what I was pondering, do I try some "tough love" which at the moment is just too heartbreaking or do I just cuddle and love as much as I can til he starts to feel safe again. I think you've give me the answer!
We've been doing lots of snuggling under duvets and reading books.
Such a tricky age isn't it? old enough to care but not to fully understand. My 5month old daughter was oblivious to the whole thing!
Take care
K

It is a really hard age and you feel guilty even if it's not your fault.

Enjoy your snuggles!