"Daddy, I don't like Mummy".

[IWouldNotCouldNotWithAGoat]

Please, please tell me somebody else has experienced this. DD, 2.10 suddenly seems to really dislike me! She tells me to go away and tells DH that she doesn't like Mummy. I went to her last night when she woke up and she cried and screamed for Daddy!

I am so upset about this.

Are you the disciplinarian? Does he do any of the discipline on a regular basis?

tbh, I can't appreciate your problem, DC all vastly and openly prefer me to DH & I find it suffocating. Would be lovely if they would let DH settle them at night.

It is horrible isn't it? I think it is a normal phase they go through, especially if daddy lets her do things that mummy might not, or if she thinks by asking for him she might get more cuddles or stay up. DH went through a phase of this when I was pg with DS, as he took over a lot of the care. Then she went through a phase of only wanting mummy. and that is where it stuck! Now she gets really upset if he is putting her to bed when it is my 'turn', or if he gets up with her and he has done so the day before. She wants mummy cuddles lots lots more. But it is not personal, she still loves her daddy very much.

Is there a bedtime routine? is he the only one who normally goes in at night? or is it you or do you share that? Do you do happy things together too? If not, make a point of doing some, but I would suggest don't try to over compensate, just continue with the routines you have, show her you love her as you normally do, try not to let her see you upset and before you know it this phase will pass, honestly. she does love you.

To me it says that your DD has a great relationship with both her parents and that she's going through a 'daddy' phase. By next week it might be the other way round. Gutting for you in the meantime, granted.

It is normal for them to play you off, what I mean is

"Mum can I have a biscuit?" No.
Immediately marches off to find dad.
"Dad can I have a biscuit?"

So she's possibly just testing the waters, and exerting what little control that she can in her life. Pavlov is right, it's not actually personal.

Try not to get upset.

My DD is a Daddy's girl and quite often I go in in the morning and she says, 'Don't want you want Daddy'. I know in my heart it is because Daddy is a bit soft and I am the one that sets the boundaries.

I know she loves me as she tells me a lot and when it is just her and me there is no sign of it. Just when Daddy is there he is always the first choice which makes it a bit difficult if he is in the house and I have to contain her.

The way I try and deal with it is to let her have her way a lot and the novelty starts to wear off, DH is then also forced to be a bit more of a disciplinarian with her and is unable to give 100% attention all the time. I use it as an opportunity to get on with things and I think it is important for her to know that sometimes people need to do other things and it can't all be about her.

It also helps to know that when she is ill or tired or wants her tea (!) she asks for me so I think it just means the bond is strong and she feels happy to test it as she knows she can trust it.

With us it really seems to be a lot about who she´s doing something with at present. If she has been doing a lot with dh, then she doesn´t want to see me. I don´t know if it´s that she feels that I wasn´t involved in the first place and she holds that against me or if it´s just that she´s enjoying the warmth with him and she doesn´t want anything to change with that. I think it´s the latter as she hates any change of activity or anything (if she´s inside, she screams she doesn´t want to go outside and vice versa).

How horrible. My (female) partner and I had a very similar problem for a long time-DS1 will always choose me if possible, and especially for those physically comforting moments which mean so much (cuddles if distressed in the night, kissing 'injuries' better). DS" now doing the same. She found it particularly horrible because we had always divided childcare roughly evenly (I took 6 months off with DS1, we each have them alone for 2 days a week) and generally see eye-to-eye on how to treat them, so there was no 'soft Dad' explanation to fall back on.

It has got better, although the kids still have preferences, but they're more diverse and activity related now. They are, after all, little people, they will egocentrically like and dislike things in the moment and express it hurtfully..

Don't be too hard on yourself. So much is demanded of mothers in terms of being the 'natural' comfort for children, the early bond is so strong, and they can't just go 'that's what it's like being a Dad' as many of my male friends do to brush this kind of thing off. It's a huge problem for adults, perhaps more so than for kids themsleves. Have you talked to your partner about the support he can offer you?

DD (3.0) does this but she changes like the wind. One minute I'm Satan himself, next minute she won't let daddy put her pyjamas on or whatever. It's easy to say but don't take it to heart, it really is just a phase.

they ALL do this.

Mine don't do it (SOB).
Probably because the first moment they try it, I say "Sure! Great thing! Here you are, Daddy can have you!" My enthusiasm probably sends them into a panic that I'm the one who doesn't love them, and they never try it again (sigh).

Apparently I did this when I was about two years old. We were on holiday and I refused to go anywhere near my dad, mom had to sit up with me all night and when we went out and my dad even touched my puschair/looked at me I would scream help help!
I think it was just a stage (and not that I was a very odd child ) but it must be very horrible at the time.