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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Anyone else's toddler have Dummy addiction....HELP

11 replies

CharlieBoo · 05/02/2011 21:19

My dd is 20 months old and a gorgeous lovely little thing. The problem at the moment is she is addicted to her dummy. If its not in her mouth or she's not eating (her fave other passtime) then she's looking for it... I can't even do the school run without it as she just cries and cries for it. She also has a blanket and loves this so much and associates the two together. She also HAS to have it in the car. Did anyone wean their kids off the dummy slowly or just go cold turkey?

Her speech is fine, loads of words, and starting to make 3-4 word sentences so not worried about that.

With ds, I just didn't have this problem as he'd had enough of it by 12 months old.

Thanks L

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androbbob · 05/02/2011 22:01

I am of no use to you at all as DS still has his for bed and either end of the day. It is getting less and less and I take it out of his mouth if he happens to find it. It is a habit and an addiction of sort but I know I am too soft with him. I now refuse to take it out with me as he has no real need for it.

A friend of mine as a 2year old (just turned 2) and they went cold turkey and just told him he couldnt have it. They had two bad nights but now all is well. Just need to be strong. It is not that easy when trying to drive and so school run!

strawberrie · 05/02/2011 22:08

How is her speech and comprehension generally? My DD is 22 months; from about 18 months she was able to get the concept that her 'dodo' is for bed, so when she gets up in the morning and from her nap, she puts it on her pillow along with her comforter.

BeatriceLaBranche · 05/02/2011 22:17

DD2 is also addicted to her dummies. She has several clips - sometimes she had more than one clipped onto her, other times she has more than one dummy on a clip (she looks like a rag and bone baby).

DS was the same, my approach is a lot more laissez faire . I just left him to it until his third birthday and then the dummy fairy visited. End of dummy.

This is what i will do with DD2.

ceebeegeebies · 05/02/2011 22:24

DS2's dummy addiction was getting worse just before he turned 2 - before that, we had managed to restrict it to just bedtimes but it had been gradually creeping into daytime until he seemed to have it 24 hours a day!

We just went cold turkey during the day. I started one evening and he cried for about 30 minutes, the next evening (he had been at nursery that day and never had it at nursery ), over an hour...then after that, he has been absolutely fine.

In fact, it completely changed his personality - he was whingy, grumpy before and suddenly became a happy, cheeky, lovely little boy

That was about 3 months ago and now we don't even take one out with us.

Original poster

CharlieBoo · 05/02/2011 23:16

Thanks for replies...her speech and comprehension is very good but she is VERY strong willed and LOVES her dodos...she walks round crying and saying 'dodos where are you?' until we give in. Its relentless.

I am going to try and wean her in the day and ask her to leave it in her cot in the morning. Will try tomorrow and let you know how I go. I can imagine her now! Eeeek!

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couldtryharder · 06/02/2011 13:50

My DD had hers til she was 3, although it was, towards the end, restricted to bedtime and times of really anguish or stress. We didn't go cold turkey, we did it gently bit by bit. TBH she chewed holes in them and I told her that I wasn't buying anymore, so as each one got a hole it went in the bin til there were none left. After that I think she asked once or twice, but there was no drama in it. Her speach and development is perfectly normal. I was totally against dummies until I had a screaming baby that would only settle with one and was paranoid that she'd go around with one all day long in her mouth. My midwife at the time said that there are plenty of kids 5yrs old plus who still suck their thumbs, but you don't see kids that age with dummies. She'll get there, don't worry.

juuule · 06/02/2011 14:13

With my children who had a dummy, I never forced the issue. Some were quite late giving it up. At 20m I wouldn't have been concerned about them having it at all. If it's a comfort and not causing any health problems why deprive them of that comfort at this age?

Lollypolly · 06/02/2011 14:32

DD1 had hers until she was nearly 3. She was old enough to understand that we had heard from the dummy fairy who had asked her to collect all the dummies round the house and put them in a bag on the living room door. She would then collect them at night and leave a present - apparently the dummy fairy takes big girls' dummies for new babies who badly need them.

DD1 had been attached to her dummies and I was worried that it would work. It cost us a toy kitchen but it worked like a dream. DD2 will be 3 in September and she'll have a visit from the dummy fairy this summer.

As long as speech isn't affected (and according to our dentist that they don't have dummies with adult teeth), I don't think any harm is done. I sucked my thumb for years and then had to wear a brace to correct my teeth - I was determined that my girls wouldn't suck theirs.

crispface · 06/02/2011 20:18

DD is 3.6 and still has one for naps and bedtime. I dont have a problem with them. (Obviously they will go before next teeth come in, but the "damage" to these teeth is done already iyswim)

We did it gradually. at around 20 months she was only allowed her dummy for rest times. So fine, if she wants to sit and watch tv or just lie on the sofa/bed/carseat/pushchair. NOT FINE to walk around/talk with it in. NOT FINE AT ALL. And it would be removed from her completely if she broke the rules. Harsh at first, but she soon learnt that rule and would get it, sit quietly for 5 mintues, then put it down and go and play etc.

By her second birthday (or just after) she was in a proper bed now a cot. The dummies stayed in bed and if she wanted them, at ANY time of day, she could go to them, but no-one was going to come with her, or make her dummy time more interesting. We did still take them out with us when I knew she was liekly to need them for nap time eg in the car/pushchair.

just after her third birthday we bought a lovely sparkly pink box and when she gets up in the morning she puts them in the box and I decide when she can have them (eg not to rest, but yes at naptime) because she is getting to the point of not napping, or wantin a nap at say 4pm, and a suck of the dummy would send her straight to sleep, and i didnt WANT her to sleep at 4pm!

She knows that one day the dummy fairies will come and take away her dummies, I am thinking of doing this just before our summer holiday, perhaps a couple of days before hand, then the new place will help her lose association (desperate hope) - if however we are not brave enough for this route, I am sure that school will shame her out of it

Original poster

CharlieBoo · 06/02/2011 20:21

Hey ladies, well today we've had a good day. Kept all dummies out of reach and sight and this has helped as I normally keep them up high but dd can still see them. She didn't have it from 7am-11am, then had for 5 mins as she was so tired, spat it out and forgot about it. Then had it for nap and then not again until 6ish when she got tired again.

I completely agree Juuule, I would never take it from her altogether at this age as it does give her so much comfort. It's just she wants it in ALL the time, its become more of a habit than something to have when she needs comfort iyswim. I have no plans in taking it from her completely, I just need to cut it back and discipline myself.

Thanks for all your replies, I do appreciate it.

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GemxxSkye · 07/02/2011 09:02

Hi my dd is 3 next month i took her dummy off her at 2.5 she was obsessedand had at least 15 just in bed with her and then hidin all round the house her speech was great and it didnt start to affect teeth but i decided to take it off her so i gathered them all up told her i was sending them to santa and that was that i didnt give in she asked a few times but didnt cry i was all preapered for a bad night sleep thought she would have a fit but she slept all through the night i thought i would have had loads more drama and tears but she was great everytime she asked i just said santa has them he will bring you presents this is just my experience i no every child different but i think cold turkey better if you give in she wont take you seriously and will keep screaming for it because she knows you will give in you just have to go for it possibly ride out a tough week then she'll forget all about it :)

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