DD2 22 months and a thug Help please?

[jasperc163]

How to deal with a rather physically agressive DD2 (has DD1 aged 5 in tears 10x a day and scratching/pushing/pulling hair of children at toddler group esp anything smaller than her)? It generally not a response to be provoked.

We are trying to a) stop it happening in first place but there is always a moment when you take your eye off for a second b) Pick her up and remove her telling her she has hurt other child and to say sorry (she then gives their arm a stroke).

This has been going on for about 6 months now but she has recently upped the ante further. I think too young for naughty steps etc but need advice (DD1 very sensitive and never behaved like this!).

many thanks

I don't know if this will help but here's my situation....my ds now 4 years in march, and he was like that. Although now he is still a bit aggressive but only to me. So still not great really but a whole lot better then it was. We tried all sorts but failed then what worked was we realised that everytime he tried to talk he was cut off when trying to express himself. Now thats not because we don't love him etc it's only because I'm an army wife and live alone with my 3 children. Don't realise the small things that can have impact on our little ones lives. Being sooooo busy with home life and studying I'm always rushing around like a mad woman and almost don't have time to breathe. So I took a step back and tried it out...I let him have his say. And hey presto he changed. I know what you going through and feel for you. I hope this helps. Good luck!!!

oops sorry - meant it is generally NOT in response to being provoked.

thanks gr8kids - and glad to hear things are improving!

I don't think its an attention thing - but will bear that in mind. She just gets this determined look on her face and sets off across the room to abuse some poor child who isn't bothering her in the slightest. And if the poor child cries then they are in even more trouble....
The rest of the time of course she is charming :-)

I feel your pain, my DS is 4 in May and he was exactly like this from a very young age, he would go up to random children in the park and just push them over or grab their face (yikes)or hair, if a child ever hit him back he was 'shocked' and got very upset it was almost like he was just trying to communicate alot of the time it was an iimpulsive reaction.
I have been in tears over this more than you can imagine....it is just mortifying isn't it
He has a bit of speech delay and the paeds have put his behaviour down to pure frustration, as his speech has improved so has his behaviour, I still have to watch him like a hawk and can;t relax when other children are around but it is getting better
So my advice is remember she is not 'naughty' she's just learning, always tell her her behaviour is not nice and make her apologise (she prob won't understand but it will sink in) try and pre-emp situations and get in there fast with a distraction )I used to move him to the other side of the path if a child was walking towards us etc)
lots of positive praise ( really go over board with praise when she does the slightest good thing) I find my son respond well to this and is far more likely to be better behaved
Hang in there she will grow out of it and you are not alone, find sympathetic friends for play dates, good luck

thank you mummywizz. I know of course that it will end eventually but its so tedious while its going on! She seemed to improve for a while but had now taken a step back again. I had hoped that it would be over before 4 :-)
I think i am doing most of the things you suggest so I suppose just got to keep at it!