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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Secondary school have flagged up autism - what now?

13 replies

JabbaM · 05/02/2011 13:26

13 y o son has always been a one off. Reads intensively, massive imagination, compulsively talking about stuff he finds interesting, not great at listening, terrible writer but v bright, trouble riding a bike, swimming, can't swing on a swing. He is extraordinarily gentle and kind, has lots of friends, but has had trouble with bullies because he can't seem to adjust his behaviour.

Primary school was a nightmare, because he just didn't want to be in the classroom - either mentally or physically. He did ok - but we thought he was underachieving.

Now a year 8, school invited us in to ask whether we thought he may be autistic.

To be honest, it has always been the family joke, but we have never taken it seriously.

He is having problems engaging in lessons - he just does not pay attention to the teacher and often takes a book with him to read.

School have asked do I want him screening? I've said no for now. They are going to see if giving in personalised instructions in class will help.

Does anyone have any experience or advice? Thanks.

OP posts:

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2011 13:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MadameSin · 05/02/2011 13:38

Try posting this on the 'Special Needs Children' section ... lots of experience over there and someone will def be able to advise you.

Shamechanger · 05/02/2011 13:43

JabbaM I assume he has been assessed for dyspraxia in the past? Why not go for assessment - they may come up with something else that hasn't been thought of.

pagwatch · 05/02/2011 13:52

Why not find out.
If he is on the autistic spectrum it would help him understand why he reacts the way he does in some scenarios and assist him socially as well as in his learning environment.

Ineedalife · 05/02/2011 16:17

You mentioned that he was under achieving in primary. If he has an ASD or dyspraxia or something similar he will only achieve his full potential with understanding and the right support.

If the school are reccomending an assessment I would go for it.

Good luck whatever you decide.

slartybartfast · 05/02/2011 16:25

at 13 it does seem a bit late.
however you may well come across support groups for now and later in life, if necessary.

TheCowardlyLion · 05/02/2011 16:27

Why don't you want him screened?

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 05/02/2011 16:44

Get the poor boy screened, it only be beneficial for him, will get him the help he needs and help him understand himself.

I'm a bit at ignoring the signs and treating them as a 'family joke' tbh, please don't ignore the problem just because you don't want to deal with it

KangarooCaught · 05/02/2011 19:17

Anything which helps your ds is surely worth pursuing, yes? Even if it's to explain his autism to his peers so they are more understanding of his quirks; to make sure he gets the right careers advice; maybe laptop for exams etc etc.

My cousin was not officially diagnosed until his 30s, protected from within by his family who were at ease with his very clear autistic characteristics, despite deep concern by my grandfather who tried tactfully to offer to pay for assessment and any support many times. His immediate family could understand him & 'translate' on his behalf, his obsessional interests were hobbies to be encouraged and he'd always be alright because he was employed by his father and friends said they'd always offer him a job. He had some speech therapy at about 11 which meant strangers could understand him but it wasn't continued and he regressed.

My uncle is now too old & ill to run his business, the offers of work from friends did not materialise and my cousin was forced to go to one excruciating interview after another for jobs he would never get, until one person at at the job centre took an interest and went to the family home to persuade his parents that he should be diagnosed. He now gets DLA and helps his mother and sister look after his father, but there is just so much more he could have done - because he is clever, mechanically minded with a joyful sense of humour - if his parents hadn't 'protected' him from being 'labelled' and 'protected' him from the help he could have accessed. His parents btw have now embraced the diagnosis and are very impressed with the adult support there is for my cousin.

Please let your ds be assessed, it doesn't change who he is but could change his time at school into a positive one.

Ineedalife · 05/02/2011 20:14

I wonder if the OP is shocked by us all saying the same thing? she seems to have disappeared.

Great post kangaroo, I have a cousin and had an uncle with very similar stories.

Original poster

JabbaM · 06/02/2011 10:09

Thank you for all the posts.

Not replied until now because took DS to see the Kings Speech and had a meal afterwards to chat re what was going on.

The school's view was to see if a change in teaching methods would help before going down the screening route. Hence that what we decided to do, and review in six weeks time.

My post on here was as a result of coming out of the meeting with school, and the incidents of the past 12 years flashing past and falling into place.

There are contra indications - he has a highly devoloped sense of irony and humour - even into his own personality quirks, and perhaps its this more than anything that has led us to proceed on the basis that he may be somewhere on the spectrum - but hey, aren't we all.

And that's the rub. Thank you Kangeroo for your post. My son's condition seems very different however. He loves to act and is - now - socially popular. His idiosynchracies have always been admired - by us and others. I've always taken the view, that if he can get through school, he will be superb in any chosen career.

The problem is we seem to have hit a wall at school. They are talking about putting him lower classes because of his failure to participate.

Are me and the school continuing to be too laissez - faire? That's what's been suggested here, and is now what I am asking myself.

Thank you again for the posts. The Kings Speech is a great film, and seemed very apt. I do think when DS finds a way through this, he'll be stronger for it. Its just a question of making the right decisions at the moment.

OP posts:

Original poster

JabbaM · 06/02/2011 10:52

BTW - am checking up on dyspraxia. Thanks.

OP posts:

tabulahrasa · 07/02/2011 08:30

um, nothing you've said about your son rules out autism

my son has a fantastic sense of humour - he also has a diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome, he goes to a youth club for teenagers with autism, some of the kids there also go to a drama club and they're all very different...

I know of some teenagers who turn down a place at the youth club because they want to spend time with their friends from school

The stereotype of a humourless loner is sometimes true - it's often not, it affects people differently.

and why are you letting him take a book to school so that he can ignore what's happening in class?

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