I am here on my knees asking for help with my children's behaviour.
I need to turn this behaviour around becuase I can't cope like this long term.
If I outline the problems, could you suggest tips or your advice, I don't know what to ignore and what not to.
DS1 (6yr old boy)
DS1 has a long term medical condition, it requires a lot of very carefully managed medication/nebulisers and physio.
I also have to spend quite a bit of time in hospital with him.
He attends mainstream school and although it is improving he is quite immature compared to a 'normal' (I hate that word) 6yr old boy.
The problem with him is sheer sillnyess, babyish talk, inappropritae touching (rubbing his face/body all over me/teachers)
Also it is the fact he will go out of his way to wind up his brother and me with silly things, an example if him saying to DS2 'Were eating chicken' when there is quite clearly Pizza on the plate... or 'Your not 4' when DS2 is. Just things like that becuase he knows DS2 will snap.
We also have a problem with him repeating silly noises/faces all the time, still mouthing everything and his inability to keep his attention on anything or to make eye contact, his fine motor skills are also below average. We are waiting for a broard scale assesment for Autism/aspergers and adhd.
DS2 (4yr old boy) is a challenge, he either mumbles to the point that no one can hear him, or shouts really agressivley. We get lots of 'you idiot' when he cant get his own way.
He is fixated by computers and if one isn't availiable he is a nightmre, hanging on my leg, clinging to me ect... he might be pursuaded to colour in pictures for half an hour but generally has no imagination, his nursery teachers say this is a problem.
He cannot cope with being told no and it results in a full scale melt down, hitting, biting and screaming.
He will NOT walk holing hands or on reins and I fear he will be the only child starting reception in September still in a pushchair.
The boys cannot play together, as I say unless there is a computer involved they wander around bored and fight constantly, I cannot turn my head without them being all over each other, wrsetling eachother to the cround... eventually one of them will get hurt and start a proper fist fight.
I KNOW this is all my fault before I get a load of replys saying it, I also know its up to me to turn it around.
I am yet to find a punishment that they care about. We are in a tiny flat with no outside space, there is nowhere to have a 'naughty step' they share a bedroom and putting them there for time out results in it being totally decimated, the walls are a wreck already from them.
They don't respond to star charts unless the reward is something big like an expensive day out or toys.
They have to many toys and have been spoilt, they never play with any of them.
They have sweets and treats far to often.
I find myself just yelling all the time, I have in the past smacked their bottoms out of sheer frustration at not knowing how to combat this behaviour.
They have had unfortunatley through no ones fault had an unsettled upbringing, lots of house moves and thier Nan (my mum) died last year who they were very close to, their Dad moved out 3 weeks ago after a lifetime of arguments.
Help me please.