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How to control a very noisy, loud, screamy, shouty boy who is 3, he could reduce me to tears most days

17 replies

Papaya · 04/02/2011 14:03

My son is so loud :( he is noisy from the second he wakes up until the second he goes to bed. I am at my wits end and now just feel like crying all the time. My ears hurt constantly and This week have had to take countless nurofen for a splitting headache combination of the stress and the noise.

Ds only plays noisily, banging hammering....
Screams a lot, and is generally just so loud be it talking,playing, bathing whatever he does. Last night at my aunts, who had cooked us tea...she was constantly shhhhing him, telling him not to be so loud etc etc, in the end he was just that noisy dh and I left, you could see in their faces and the whinces of ear pain every time ds shrieked that enough was enough...
Today again, visiting grandma, noise volume of him chasing around, can't sit to eat, shouting, playing noisily, despite me taking countless distractions to entertain him he just wants to be noisy. Once again I leave, after too many whinces of noise agony from both grandparents. How on earth can I deal with this.... He doesn't have the best speech for a three yr old, but otherwise developmentally he is just fine, people just keep telling me he is just a boy.....and boys are noisy, he is very able and physically for his age and could pass as a four to five year old with his height and build, he is also a very outdoor child, but I cant be outside all the time...
Tia

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
mamsnet · 04/02/2011 14:06

Have you had his hearing checked?

I can sympathise, though. My 2 and a half year old DS is so loud too.. What about a special DVD for Granny's house?

Papaya · 04/02/2011 14:06

Can i add he is also v loving, cuddly and plays well with other children, sleeps well, eats well x didn't want it to all sound so negative lol just had a bad morning....

OP posts:
Papaya · 04/02/2011 14:09

Hi thank u for your reply, he has had a few ear infections and is currently on antibiotics for an infection at moment, so may be worth getting it checked out, would it be the doctor that refers me to get his hearing checked?or should I contact hv? x

OP posts:
HeroShrew · 04/02/2011 14:10

Papaya you sound exhausted with it all. I only have the half-sized version of what you have (a very loud and wilful 18mo) and I'm bloody knackered!

I am not usually one for reading child development books but a friend has lent me a copy of 'The Happiest Toddler on the Block' which I'm half way through and it seems to have relevant, simple and practical strategies for dealing with toddlers with 'character'

mamsnet · 04/02/2011 14:17

You didn't sound negative about your son.. just about the noise!

mamsnet · 04/02/2011 14:18

I don't know about the hearing check as I'm not in the U.K.

Could you ring the doctors' surgery and ask?

mum2oneloudbaby · 04/02/2011 16:22

i empathise entirely my dd 3yo is soooo loud and also she is sensitive to loud noises.

ds is just 3mos and he is going the same way still in delivery room when mw says 'oh he's loud'. my heart sank.

btw speech may have nothing to do with it dd has excellent speech and was a very early talker just loudly!

no words of advice sorry but will be watching with interest to see if anybody else has any ideas.

4madboys · 04/02/2011 16:40

yep, been there, got the t-shirt, some boys just are loud!

my youngest son is like this, and ds2 and ds3 were as well. at 8 and 6yrs they are a bit better now.

my thing us that when i talk to ds4 i get down to his level and talk QUIETLY to him, shhhing and saying be quiet doesnt work, but if you talk quietly to him he will have to be quiet to hear andlisten to you, plus you are obviouly showing him how to be quiet.

i literally whisper to ds4 that 'we need to use our quiet voices' it seems to help.

they do get better with age....they go to school so you dont have to hear them all day Grin

also explain they can be loud outside and have time outdoors everyday, boys are like dogs they need lots of fresh air, exercise and space!

BlueberryPancake · 04/02/2011 16:49

You can do some games with him where he has to be noise and has to be loud, so that he can understand better that he is noisy. We like "slowly slowly said the sloth" and 'Hello Dudley".

I like the idea of showing him what a quiet voice is, and to tell him that we need to use our quiet voices now.

thebountymuncher · 04/02/2011 16:55

Also watching with interest- Your DS sounds exactly like mine.

People (on the rare occasion anyone dares to come round) leave here with a shellshocked look on their face.

BeenBeta · 04/02/2011 16:59

Papaya - how much really hard outdoor physical excercise does he get?

Our DSs needed hours outside running themselves ragged at that age otherwise the noise just grew and grew.

somanymiles · 04/02/2011 17:01

Went through this with DS. Pre school helped so much as he learned about using his "inside voice", which of course I could have taught him had I thought of it.

What worked for me was to make sure that he ran around for at least an hour a day outside. When I say "ran around" I literally mean we used to get him to run from tree to tree in the park while we pretended to time him - and other very active games, so that he would work off some energy.

Once he was in school we had a 40 minute walk to and from school every day and that seemed to do the trick. To be honest, once he hit 4 he was much easier.

HeroShrew · 04/02/2011 17:07

what's the 'inside voice', somany?

MadameOvary · 04/02/2011 17:52

Second the "talking quietly" idea. I do this with DD.
I also revert to earplugs when the need arises Blush

3littlefrogs · 04/02/2011 17:58

Definitely ask to have his ears and hearing checked. People who cannot hear very well often shout. If he has had ear infections his hearing may be affected and he may be unable to hear himself.

Also - try speaking quietly and make sure he can see your face when you are talking to him.

Tgger · 04/02/2011 23:40

Definitely go for the running around outside thing!

Boys are like dogs at this age- some girls too! Wrap up warm, go to nearest playground, stay for at least 30 minutes, preferably nearer 2 hours (honestly used to do this!).

Does Grandma or Auntie have a garden? Go there- Grandma or Auntie can have time off and he can run off some energy- take a ball or a bike or a scooter etc

BeenBeta · 05/02/2011 10:29

Soft play areas when it was raining or cold were where me and DW spent the frst 4 years of our DS1 life. Every Saturday without fail for 2 hours at least. Swimming on Sunday until our bodies were wrinkly.

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