dd naked upstairs as im fed up of nagging.

[familyfun]

dd is 3.7 and needs to get changed into her uniform for nursery (at 12).
i asked her to put her pjs under her pillow and put her pants,socks and trousers on, she is sitting naked in her bedroom reading books.
so ive come downstairs to play with dd2 and she isnt bothered at all.
ive tried racing her, helping her, repeatedly asking her but im fed up of telling her over and over to do things and she just ignores me.
last night i said take off your uniform and put on your lola top. she was singing lola lola lola, then sat down, i asked her what she was meant to be doing and she didnt know???
i am wondering about her concentration levels as she cant concentrate on anything.
when doing her homework (which might be drawing herself so nothing hard) she kicks her legs up and down rolls around falls off the chair several times, spills a drink asks random questions, then wanders off. then i remind her about the picture and she says oh i forgot and goes back.
i also have to tell her everything, when she goes to the toilet she gets off and stands there, i have to tell her to wipe, pull up pants,trousers etc, flush, wash hands. i have tried ignoring her to see if she gets on with it and she just stands there??
normal? ignoring me on purpose? i cant work her out?

Homework? Uniform? :(

honestly, i love her nursery, it is all play based and dd loves it so much and her teacher is amazing.
the homeworh takes 5 mins max, last night she had to put numbers 1-10 in order down the page, the night before she had to make up a story about a mouse which she did and i wrote it for her, it made no sense at all but she enjoyed saying her own story. some children take the homework back unopened, that is their and their parents choice and nothing is said.

anyway, dd wanted the toilet again half hour later and took her trousers/pants off again, and shouted me up to help, so i told her there is no need to undress for the toilet and helped her dress quickly and she started screaming she wants her hair done, i lost my temper and put her on the naughty step, but after when she said sorry we had a chat.

she said she wants to get me upstairs so she gets time alone with me away from dd2.
dd2 was asleep anyway so we came down and read stories and she was much happier, ive told her that the quicker she gets ready the more time we will have for craft etc and she understands now i hope. poor little thing. i know she is a bit jealous but i spend lots of time with just her, its just hard with a 10 week old but im doing my best i think.

So it's taken her 8 minutes? Your first post was at 9.12, the one where you said she was dressed was at 9.20!

Why did you lose your temper and why did you put her on the naughty step ?

I still dress my 4.6 yr old sometimes. No big deal. Of course she can do it herself, and copes v well at school for pe, but sometimes it's just easier to get on with it than have a fight.

Maybe this comes with the experience/ tiredness (take your pick!) of her being dc no. 3?

If you've got a little baby as well, it's always worth babying your older one for a time - it's a huge adjsutment for them so make it easier on both of you.

uniform is voluntary but all 13 children wear it unless they have run out by a friday, white polo shirt grey trousers red jumper, £6.50 for the outfit which gets covered in paint/play dough/mud and i dotn have to worry about her nice stuff being ruined.

i lost my temper as she refused to put her trousers back on and screamed at me "do my hair now", should have just put her on naughty step but i shouted at her .
we have been up since 6.30 so it had taken her longer than 8 mins, that was just when i posted that she was still up there.

she is at nursery now and hopefully it will be better when i fetch her back.

She is still so young and quite possibly feels pushed out by the new baby. She has said very clearly she wants time with you without the baby. No matter how much you might think she likes nursery she has probably worked out that baby gets time alone with you then, when does she get time alone with you?

Ah ok.

Well I wouldn't worry too much if she is dressed by the time you have to leave, but that's just me :)

You could try "Say, Remind, Make it Happen" - which is state once what you want her to do (DD, you need to get dressed now) then after a short time if she hasn't done it a one-word reminder "DD, dressed" and then if she still doesn't do it then do it for her. Children love being independent so this is enough of a deterrent. It needs to be done so it's happening whether she does it herself or you do it for her.

But having said that if you've been leaving her to it then that's a bit of an adjustment - how about working it into a timescale you can both cope with, e.g. "I need you to be dressed by the time this timer goes off" (one where she can see roughly how much of the time is left, not just numbers) or "You can watch this programme but after that you need to get dressed and then we will do X if we have time."

Don't beat yourself up over it - you have a 10 week old, you sound like you're doing great! :)

thanks bertie, i am trying my best not to push her put, while dd2 is asleep we do painting/play dough/drawing/reading together and when dd2 is awake me and dd1 play with her together or i sit dd2 on my lap to watch dd1 and tell dd1 how good she is bwing etc.

problem is when dp gets home he hasnt seen dd1 all day so they go off and play outside or play a game so they get their ono on one time but i dont really and im bf dd2 so i cant go out for long.

will try to do more with dd1, i bath her every night while dp had dd2 and she loves her bath

dd is being really good, ive done a reward chart and she loves it, but she is getting clingier, all weekend she has followed dp wherever he has gone, literally to the toilet saying daddy daddy daddy all the time and crying when he went to get a paper.
today dp is at work she she has switched to me, mommy mommy mommy swinging round my legs and following me. ive played a lot with her while dd2 slept then when i had to feed dd2 she kept piling toys on me and asking me questions about peppa pig etc and its so hard to keep a smile on my face and answer cheerily when i want to tell her to go an play a bit.