Ds badly behaved

[bobblywobblymum]

Can anyone please advise. My ds is 4yrs old birthday aug 15th enjoyed school last term being mornings only, now full time not as keen though goes willingly. Today his teacher called me over to say how badly behaved he's being this term, spitting, licking his hands then wiping them on other children, even hitting! Dp and I talked to him at home and sent him to his room, he came down for dinner, all well, then bathtime noticed his underwear were soaked and his v large soft toy dog also wet with wee. he is now in bed after another talking to and I am feeling crap. Any advice please.

Oh dear. I would say let the school deal with his behaviour. I'd let him know you are aware if it, but don't punish him again at home. Ask the teacher what she is doing to promote better behaviour. School is very tricky for lots of kids.... It's not a natural environment for many young boys, or girls for that matter, to be in. It can be stressful for them. All behaviour is a form of communication .. Usually for attention of some kind

I would try a reward chart and ideally co-ordinate that with school, so he can also earn stars or whatever whilst at school and when you pick him up the teacher tells you AND him whether he has earned any stars to put on his chart at home, x number of stars and he gets a treat (could be a nice activity with you or dh or small present or something else). Also, could you talk to him about why he does it, does he feel unhappy/intimidated/is he being teased/feels unsure???? Could it be that full days is just too much for him? Could you have him going half days only or maybe 3 days half days and two days full days? I think that it is important that he learns that this behaviour is wrong, but it is also important to find out what triggers it. Would you have any time/opportunity to help out at school whilst he is there so you can observe what is going on? Although I think that you need to be firm, you will also need to strike the right balance because you want him to feel safe at home and be open with you so he can tell you if there is anything going on at school. Really hard to do, I appreciate that. Good luck and I hope you will find a way out.

Thanks for your replies, it certainly helps talking with other mums. We have got parents evening in a couple of weeks so will see how he behaves up to then.

Ah, bless. Is he getting overtired or something? I wonder what's triggered the bad behaviour if he was fine before? I would be thinking this way rather than punishing him. He's only a couple of months older than my son who is in year below and certainly would struggle if he was full time- gets knackered on 2 full days and 3 mornings.

First thing to go when he's tired is behaviour, so far only at home, but bet it spreads once they get past a certain point- their way of showing it's all a bit much? I wonder if the teacher can let him chill out a bit more in the afternoon, do less stimulating things/do his own thing a bit more?