DD hitting me.

[winnybella]

I was oh so smug. She was the perfect toddler, not many tantrums etc.

She's just turned 2 and in the last couple of weeks has taken to whacking others (but especially me) with her hand and pushing and throwing (sometimes heavy) toys at people.

Now, she's too young for a naughty step, I will smack her (although I did give her the lightest smack on her nappy yesterday, with no result whatsoever except me feeling bad.

I tell her off, first I tried to be nice and understanding, then tried the scary mummy approach. Nothing's working.

Is leaving the situation the only solution for now?

uh uh I will NOT smack her, obv

give her strong disapproval and then move on.

'We don't hit. That is not nice'. Then next ttime take her away from whatever she is doing ( assuming it is fun)

Ah, but see, Pag, she will then follow me and try to whack/push me or will unload her frustartion on someone else who is closer to her.

She isn't spoiled per se, I don't give in on other matters.

oh winny
there is no perfect child. They all do something

ultimately she wants your attention. If you can minimise how much attention she gets when she hits then it will work eventually.

DS2 started hitting and he has asd so it was hard to make him understand. I got ed psych help eventually.

if he hit I would say 'no' really clearly and imediately walk away from him. Although he followed I was bigger than him and did it until he got the message. It did work. Eventually.

Don't be over worried though. Children all do it. It is just because it is hitting we tend to worry.

Thanks. Yes, I do seem to recall DS doing it as well, but it was years ago. True about trying to get attention-will be curt and dissaproving.

And to think I was convinced she will not go through the terrible twos stage

When she hits you say a FIRM no thats not nice & could you put her into a playpen / pram / highchair just for a minute or two to separate her from you . Might help her understand , they are quite clever at 2yrs old imo .

I think children tend to mimic what we do so if we respond to them by hitting/slapping/etc. then they will also do the same (or continue to do the same, if they already were hitting/slapping/etc. people in the first place).
Its hard I know, and takes a lot of patience, but try not to respond to her behavior by hitting/slapping/etc. As for naughty steps, it never worked for my hot-tempered daughter, and it might work for you, it might not. Try different approaches and see which works. Perhaps find out what her motivations are, and consider taking away certain privileges/treats for her when she misbehaves. I found that approach seemed to work best for my children. Best of luck! :)

Sorry I don't know what's going on today. I keep misreading posts! I misread your earlier posts as saying that you smacked her in response to her behavior! Oh dear...

You could try the hold the wrists thing. Get down to her level, hold her by the wrists firmly but obv dont hurt her, lower your tone of voice very firmly say "NO. We do not hit" dont say any nice words like like sweety or nn or whatever you might usually, if when you let go and she as you say tries to run after you and hit you do it again and be willing to do it a few times till she really get you mean business and it will not be accepted. I know she's only little but she will get it very quickly you will not let her get away with it. She may try to fire herself to the floor, let her go down dont turn it into a tug o war just lower her and repeat yourself again, try to only use the simple "no, we do not hit" this worked really well with both my boys when they went through that phase and its just working for my friend who's two year old has been head butting and it has paid off keeping with it. She had been smacking but obv that wasnt gona achieve anything but this really works. Practice your stern voice if your usually a quite nice sounding person, sadly i have no trouble sounding scary firm as an old battle axe... Best of luck

This might be a good book to go through with her www.amazon.co.uk:443/Hands-are-Hitting-Good-Behaviour/dp/1408110717/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1296749074&sr=8-1

I agree with Secretwishescomestrue.
Get down to her level, hold her wrists, look her in the eye and say 'we don't hit, it hurts' and then you carry on as normal. Don't give her any further attention or discuss it. (Try and get a calm stern voice)
Do the same each time, she will give up when she know the boring predictability of it.
Some take longer than others, good luck!

Thanks, that's very helpful